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Binge eating disorder

NataliieexoNataliieexo Member Posts: 50 Member Member Posts: 50 Member
I’ve been debating wether to write this for a while now. I’ve been sure I have a binge eating disorder for years now.
As a child I would sneak sweets, biscuits etc.
As a teen I was thin, maybe too thin, a mixture of never being home, constantly being active, hardly eating and drinking alcohol.
That stopped and suddenly I was hiding food again, hiding what I’d bought at the shop, hiding wrappers, no one knew how much I was eating outside of family meals.
It seemed to phase in and out I would binge eat for long periods of time, gain weight, then without trying I would eat normally, not healthy but I wouldn’t really eat outside of meals and i managed to maintain my weight for quite a long time
I had my son in 2014 I put more weight on after having him than I did when I was pregnant with him. I then had my own house, and so much freedom. I was then told I had secondary infertility and they couldn’t work out why and said it was my weight and I had to have a bmi of 30 to have fertility treatment.
I started slimming world in oct18 and lost 2st and thought it was something I could carry on with because it worked well. Then Christmas came and it went downhill from there while I have maintained my weight loss I am in a bad cycle. Which includes binge eating, taking water retention pills that make you pee out the excess water weight you have gained, counting calories for a few days then back into that cycle of using water pills. It was supposed to be a one off thing but it didn’t turn into that if it’s not the water tablets, it’s binge eat then make myself exercise or walk 30.000 steps a day to try and counter act some of the damage. It’s just a bad cycle.
Now I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve spoken to a dr briefly about it but didn’t feel like she cared or believed me and I left feeling like I was just greedy.
My partner has no idea how much I eat either.

The worst thing is I’m so down about having secondary infertility when it’s probably the binge eating that’s caused it. I don’t ovulate at all, I’m not going to get anywhere with that at all unless I can get healthy.
I just don’t know what to do about it especially after a dr brushed me off.
edited May 2019


  • teranga79teranga79 Member Posts: 202 Member Member Posts: 202 Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    I don't have a solution, but I hear you.

    In retrospect, I suspect that most of the reason I got to 385 pounds was undiagnosed binge eating disorder (just to go along with my depression and anxiety, THANKS BRAIN). It's only in the past couple of years that I have begun to recognise that what I thought was hunger was actually often the binge urge. And that that is actually stronger than actual hunger.

    The last few weeks, especially, I've been struggling with bingeing - due, I suspect, to tiredness, stress, and various things making me miserable or frustrated. A bowl of ice cream after dinner seems inoffensive and fits inside my calories, but then instead of feeling satisfied I kind of fancy more, and... the more I eat, the stronger the urge gets, like a hook in my gut constantly drawing me downstairs to get yet more food, until I've eaten enough calories to gain a pound and feel physically sick.

    The most frustrating thing is knowing that if I can stop for just ten minutes that urge will go away completely. But while I'm in the grip of the urge I just. Can't. Stop. :/

    This has explained exactly what I go through so much better than I could have expressed it. I know, rationally, that of course I can stop, that's I'm the only person who has control over what I eat (and how much of it). But mid-binge, and pre-binge, a herd of wild horses couldn't keep me away from the food.

  • kshama2001kshama2001 Member Posts: 25,111 Member Member Posts: 25,111 Member
    I will definitely make a appointment with a dr and see if I will be taken seriously.
    I want to change, I need to change, it already effects my reproductive system. I am just 1st 6lbs from the weight they wanted me to be for the fertility treatment but I’m stuck and I don’t think I will be able to move forward until I get help.
    I had to take a break from slimming world because I was running out of excuses as to why I was gaining and losing the same pounds all the time.

    Great, let us know how that goes :)

    I snuck sweets as a child too and later self-medicated with alcohol. I found the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques I learned in just a handful of Smart Recovery and Rational Recovery meeting tremendously helpful. (Last I checked only SR had in person meetings these days.) CBT is also very effective for food issues.

    CBT (and yoga) helped me with the emotional issues that were causing me to self-medicate.

    Changing my macros helps me with the physical issues/cravings - if I'm not getting enough protein I can eat and eat and eat and never feel satisfied, even if I've eaten to the point of feeling sick.

    Regular exercise helps me as well - not sure what category to put that in.
  • SillyGirl_6SillyGirl_6 Member, Premium Posts: 32 Member Member, Premium Posts: 32 Member
    Thank you for sharing your story. Being vulnerable takes courage. I developed BED while taking care of my Dad when he got cancer while being a single mom with 4 kids at home. I pretty much ate my way through a year and a half. My PCP put me on Vyvanse in March. It is normally used for ADD but has also been accepted by the FDA for use with BED. It calms the cravings and urges to binge. I'm also in counseling and learning to cope with stress in a healthier manner. MFP and my Fitbit are how I keep myself in check.

    I would try another provider if you can. NPs can normally see you sooner that an MD. Vyvanse might not be right for you or you may not want to take a prescription. It's an option if you want to research it. I highly recommend counseling if you have insurance that will cover it.

    Much luck to you! Hugs!
  • emmamcgarityemmamcgarity Member Posts: 1,483 Member Member Posts: 1,483 Member
    Back in my 30s I was dealing with infertility issues and had 4 consecutive miscarriages after 2 prior successful pregnancies. The doctors couldn’t explain it. Even the infertility doctor didn’t understand why. I remember soothing myself with food. I remember sneaking food from the kitchen into my bedroom closet so that no one would see me eat. I remember sleeping and eating and nothing else to try and make me not feel the world around me. Eventually I decided to use Weight Watchers to somehow discipline myself to lose the weight. Yet even while doing that, I struggled. I remember tearfully being on the phone with a friend while eating a bag of Hershey’s kisses and telling her what a failure I was. She said something that flipped a switch in my brain. She told me to log the Hershey’s kisses in my food log and move on. I wasn’t a failure. It was a bad moment. A bad day. One moment doesn’t define me. My food log doesn’t have to be pretty. It was ok if I went over on points. It doesn’t mean I’m a failure. It just means I’m human. She encouraged me to just make my next meal in plan and move on. She also encouraged me to walk for 30 minutes per day the rest of the week simply to keep myself accountable. I honestly don’t remember if I lost weight that week. But I did eventually lose the weight and eventually got pregnant again. That kid is 13 years old now. If you can’t manage to find a therapist, find a friend to chat with. Someone rational who will remind you that you are worth the effort. My sincere prayers go out to you on this journey.
  • perezlauperezlau Member Posts: 35 Member Member Posts: 35 Member
    Maybe see an endocrinologist. Just to make sure hormones are balanced. Sometimes things like PCOS can cause fluctuations in hormone levels that affect fertility and weight.
    Also, maybe find a professional psy dr. to speak to as to why you feel you should hide what you eat or to kind of help you get to a deeper understanding of what is beneath this behavior.

    I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you find resolution or a path that helps you overcome this.
  • JRsLateInLifeMomJRsLateInLifeMom Member Posts: 2,275 Member Member Posts: 2,275 Member
    Dietician their very helpful have seen it all . If need be they can recommend a psychiatrist who works with them that specializes in eating disorder fields .Some Doctors are pains you got to go around them or through them like a bull. It’s your health not theirs so take control if they won’t listen! When the Pediatrician don’t agree I go over their heads to a Baby Dieticians to dermatologists for my son. Not waiting for a bunch of folks to magically start agreeing I know something wrong I’m going to get it fixed no matter what. Plus the Pediatrician I got are bunch of morons swear the same one gives a different diagnosis a week later for the same kid with the same skin rash! The colleague in the office disagreed with them. Bam specialist got a final diagnosis slap on some baby eczema creams y some for keratosis pilaris dragged them out of the Stone Age onto my page! I’m too old to go through the nonsense I did with the 1st kid 20 odd years ago! You know what’s wrong they need to listen if not try a few others someone will!
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