I’ve been debating wether to write this for a while now. I’ve been sure I have a binge eating disorder for years now.
As a child I would sneak sweets, biscuits etc.
As a teen I was thin, maybe too thin, a mixture of never being home, constantly being active, hardly eating and drinking alcohol.
That stopped and suddenly I was hiding food again, hiding what I’d bought at the shop, hiding wrappers, no one knew how much I was eating outside of family meals.
It seemed to phase in and out I would binge eat for long periods of time, gain weight, then without trying I would eat normally, not healthy but I wouldn’t really eat outside of meals and i managed to maintain my weight for quite a long time
I had my son in 2014 I put more weight on after having him than I did when I was pregnant with him. I then had my own house, and so much freedom. I was then told I had secondary infertility and they couldn’t work out why and said it was my weight and I had to have a bmi of 30 to have fertility treatment.
I started slimming world in oct18 and lost 2st and thought it was something I could carry on with because it worked well. Then Christmas came and it went downhill from there while I have maintained my weight loss I am in a bad cycle. Which includes binge eating, taking water retention pills that make you pee out the excess water weight you have gained, counting calories for a few days then back into that cycle of using water pills. It was supposed to be a one off thing but it didn’t turn into that if it’s not the water tablets, it’s binge eat then make myself exercise or walk 30.000 steps a day to try and counter act some of the damage. It’s just a bad cycle.
Now I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve spoken to a dr briefly about it but didn’t feel like she cared or believed me and I left feeling like I was just greedy.
My partner has no idea how much I eat either.
The worst thing is I’m so down about having secondary infertility when it’s probably the binge eating that’s caused it. I don’t ovulate at all, I’m not going to get anywhere with that at all unless I can get healthy.
I just don’t know what to do about it especially after a dr brushed me off.