If I get any fatter, I'm going to explode.

SpanishFusion wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the support. I'm not sure how I'm going to approach this but since I was still stewing about it in my sleep, I think that I had better say something.

My approach is to just put your head down and do the work. Consistent action over the long-haul (and the results that come) speak for themselves. What anyone else thinks about you now is irrelevant, prove to yourself first, and the world second who you really are.

lynn_glenmont wrote: »

JustinAnimal wrote: »

I wouldn't be too furious at a five-year-old. You'll look like my dad, who tries to get angry with my son for not knowing table manners.

HE'S FIVE!! My son referred to a guy with a prosethetic as having a robot leg. Kids say the darnedest things.

Agree with some previous posters. Kid's concerned for you. I don't know what you look like beyond your avatar, but this kid thinks it's time to make a change. You can tell him to go *kitten* himself, or tell his parents that, or you can accept the critique and do something.

You don't have to do anything. However, I doubt you would have written this post if you felt like you don't need to do anything.

Also, people have to be TAUGHT what is acceptable and unacceptable. Without freaking the kid out, have you tried explaining to him why what he said was hurtful to you?

ETA: after rereading, why aren't you mad at the kid's mom? Sounds like her fault much more than the kid simply repeating something. My kid says "anti-disestablishmentarianism." It's not because he's a super genius, either...

The only time OP mentions being furious, it's about the SIL. Maybe you need to re-read one more time.

I am furious and beyond heart broken that my SIL talked about me like that.

ETA

And, you say

Also, people have to be TAUGHT what is acceptable and unacceptable. Without freaking the kid out, have you tried explaining to him why what he said was hurtful to you?

Again, go back to the OP which says,

"Do you know that was a mean thing to say?" "Yeah, I do Auntie, but I don't want you to explode."

So, the child knows it was a mean thing to say. He doesn't need it explained.

Please, forgive my redundancy.

brittanystebbins95 wrote: »

Just throwing my thoughts in.

Do you think that there's a chance that your SIL is worried about you? Maybe she's concerned for your health, and doesn't know how to approach it. Weight is usually a pretty sensitive topic, and it can be awkward to talk about for family or friends who are not in that position. She could have said something in front of or to your nephew, in the hopes that he would repeat it to you, kind of as a wake up call of sorts.

Maybe not, but perhaps she was well intentioned and just went about it in the wrong way. I don't know.

If that's the case, then she's either a bad mother or one with very little understanding of children. You're suggesting she employed a five-year-old as a go-between for adults (something you should never do -- this is the kind of behavior that leads to children feeling responsible for the adults in their lives and thinking that things like a divorce are their fault), and created a high level anxiety by leading the child to think that his aunt was literally likely to explode and it was up to him to fix that?

OP, if you decide to raise the issue with your SIL, you might want to gently point out that her son is apparently still at a stage of taking things literally, and that he was really scared and upset that you might explode, so she might want to be careful about the hyperbolic language she uses in front of him. Which would have the triple benefit of being the high road (concern for your nephew's feelings, not yours), the truth, and just possibly making her realize that what ahe did was wrong in multiple ways, or at least one way.

BTW if it were me, I would gently point out to SIL that nephew is too young not to repeat gossip, so she should watch what she says in front of him. Let her figure out what he might have repeated - her guilty conscience will be sufficient punishment and it puts you in a better position than if you explained how you felt hurt.

Commander_Keen wrote: »

I am not so sure I agree with you
Your nephew clearly has concerns for you.
He wants you to be healthy.
He wants to make sure you know what exercise is.
He wants to make sure you don't blow up..
He wants you to be in his life for a long time.

O.k so his mom was having a bit of fun with him. She prob, meant it as a job. and he can't tell the difference between a job and being serious.