Self Control Issues

I had/have some of the same feelings (the "already blew it" effect), but at a fairly mild level.

For me, thinking through some of the analogies helped. If I left the house to go to work, and found my car had a flat tire, would I drive a nail in each of the other 3 tires? If I were 350 miles from home, took a wrong turn en route to my vacation destination, and ended up a few blocks off course, would I give up, turn around, and drive home?

So, if I ate more than I wish I had, during one meal out of the thousands (I hope) to come in the rest of my life, I'm going to decide everything is ruined, then decide to further sabotage my longer term goal?

Truly, it's what our "most of the time" habits are, that determines weight management, not "what we did that one (rare) time".

Like others, it also helped me to log the over-goal eating as soon as possible, so I could think about whether it was worth it (sometimes it was), and if it wasn't, so I could figure out some of the reasons and plan what I'd do in similar circumstances next time. Then let it go. Guilt and worry don't burn extra calories, and they feel bad. Reflect, revise your plans if necessary, then go on with life. Be kind to yourself. Food is not evil, and eating a bit extra is not sin. It requires no expiation. It's just food.

Also, I agree that a wholesale replacement of (so-called) "bad" eating with "healthy" eating is likelier to fail for some of us. I do better with a "gradual remodeling" approach to changing these habits, where I log my eating, look at the results, and gradually tweak things in manageable, small, permanently-sustainable, enjoyable steps toward eating in a way that better supports my health and energy level. Humans are very adaptable omnivores. We don't need to fix everything all at once.

If you have more profound or ingrained issues around food, then a bit of interaction with a professional (counselor, dietician, whatever helps) may be a good plan. If we need help with an exercise routine, we go to a personal trainer or physical therapist for help, right? Working on the psychological side is no different; there's no need to feel stigma.

Best wishes!

Oh thats a bit similar to my emergency kitkat. Its in one of my handbags and sometimes I forget Ive got it and then just remember it, like now. I could eat it, its there, but I dont need to because its there waiting for me when I need it.

Mind you, its only because its sort of chocolate and biscuit I havent got mental for it. If it was a pizza it wouldnt have touched the sides. (not that many people have emergency pizzas in their handbags)

I see you haven't posted again in the thread since posting it - I hope that you're ok.

This is a very personal thing as other people have pointed out so in the end you'll have to come up with a solution that works for you, but I can certainly say that I sympathise with you and share things I've used to help me...

I love food - I love sweets in particular. Milk chocolate, cakes, pastries ... all sorts of baked goods ... I have a real sweet tooth. I knew even before I started on my "fitness journey" in January of this year that there was no way I was going to be able to succeed if I denied myself and didn't eat food I liked. So my trainer, in the first instance, came up with a nutrition plan that included sweets in it.

I have a calorie 'budget' of around 1200 calories a day which I can increase by doing exercise. The 1200 is a fairly loose figure because (at least lately), I allow myself to eat over that amount fairly regularly because I do a lot of exercise.

So long as I eat within my budget and give myself a calorie deficit each day, I figure I'm doing ok.

In the beginning it was really, REALLY hard for me because I was used to eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted ... in reducing portion sizes and eating less frequently, I was feeling hungry quite a lot. Over time this has pretty much faded as my body got used to the new normal and I am pretty sure my stomach must have shrunk - things I used to be able to eat a lot of, I find myself eating smaller amounts of.

So in the beginning, what I did was:
- find snacks that helped to at least take the edge off the hunger e.g. raspberries, a little box of Aldi fruit and nuts. The fruit and nuts are 132 calories and I stretch them out over a day. The almonds fill you up more and if you chew them with a raisin they're sweet
- drink carbonated mineral water to help get a fuller filling. Drinking the carbonated mineral water when I ate food, filled me up more
- ate using a teaspoon instead of a big spoon as it made food last longer. The whole 'chewing longer' thing doesn't work for me as I'm a quick eater
- eating a bunch of vegetables was pretty boring for me so I found that using a portion of .e.g the youfoodz nacho bowl salad (sans chips) and stirring it through the vegetables made it taste better. I use a small portion of chilli con carne or bolognese sauce to flavour my vegetables - then I can eat quite a lot of vegies and feel full but also still have some nice sauce to accompany it.
- I looked for substitutes that tasted nice. sogood and skinny cow ice creams actually taste good. youfoodz has a protein brownie that's delicious. The youfoodz protein balls are very sweet and the Turkish delight one is mega yum.

Then as I got into the habit of having smaller portions, I let myself eat more sweets so long as they fell within my calorie budget e.g. a tim tam is 97 calories, if I eat a few Cadbury chocolate easter eggs I can make the chocolate last longer without exceeding my budget I build sweets into my budget so that I don't feel like I'm denying myself.

Another way I motivate myself is that I record every single thing I eat ... so sometimes I think about whether I want to go to the both of recording the extra biscuit/bit of chocolate I ate ..or if it's worth the hour long walk or 30 minutes on the elliptical. If the answer is yes, then I eat it, if it's not, then I don't.

I've been overweight for almost 30 years now, obese on the BMI scale for more than 20 years. I've managed to lose 24-25kg this year by eating carefully and exercising every day. I've never been a gym person, I'm not an athlete, have pathetic lungs and have some physical limitations when training but my trainer has worked hard to come up with exercises I can do. On the occasional day when I know I've eaten more sweets/yummies than I should, I don't beat myself up over it, although I also don't eat more because I know that day is stuffed. I will usually eat some jelly or a raspberry and tell myself I'll start again tomorrow and all 'damage' is fixable in the coming days with some extra discipline and exercise.

I think weight loss is simple (calories in and calories out) but it's definitely not easy at ALL. There are some lucky people who do not have a complicated relationship with food and weight loss/maintenance is easy for them - I'm not one of those. So I just wanted to say please stick at it, don't give up and feel discouraged - you can do this!

ETA: I'm still not there yet as I'm not scheduled to reach goal weight until August.