My spouse sabotages my good eating habits!

That's a tough situation. I know how challenging it is, living with other people and being the only one on a diet. I can't imagine dealing with the situation you're in. Eating together is such an important ritual, it goes beyond food. It's special time together. And it's maybe hard for her to let go of sharing comfort meals with you. And you can only try so hard and spend so much energy trying to encourage and motivate her. She has to want it herself. The only thing I can think of is to try and get her to talk about her feelings and why she feels so defeated and depressed when you succeed. There may be some underlying fear that she'll lose you. If it comes to that point, despite the trouble and expense of preparing two meals, you have to stick to your guns, and if she chooses comfort food, fine, but have a healthy meal for yourself. You're still sharing that time together. Maybe seeing you so determined and focused will inspire her, too.

Stop using HER to sabotage yourself.
Are you being spoonfed? No? Then YOU are the one sabotaging yourself.
Yes, it sucks that she feels insecure.... but you can't compromise YOUR health b/c of that. Keep loving her as you always do. Show her with your actions that you love her no matter what, but stop using her insecurity as an excuse to splurge and whatnot.
If she keeps trying to push bad foods on you, you obviously see what she's doing. Just say no. You're a grown up.

Well goodness - I’m in the same boat but decided to eat healthy so I sit at the table eat the rest of the family has their own foods. Hard but we get the together time that’s what a partner is really craving so they don’t feel alone in the world. Pulling away from her eating at a gym not seeing her when you barely do as it is will make her feel emotionally deprived that leads to over eating to more issues for her. Just eat at the table with her ask if she wants some. If your in charge of the cooking make her a healthy plate if she doesn’t want it she can get up cook something else for herself only. That’s what Tupperware is for. Ask her to start walking with you let her talk all she wants you can too. Both gets excersice and you both get some couple time. You can’t expect her to go from 0-360* so no gym excersice together lol just a simple walk in the evenings your together. Show her this app add it to her cell say we can do this together as a couple if you like. If she doesn’t want to just keep dieting having healthy meals next to her she’ll jump on the band wagon when she’s ready.

I agree with those who have said that ultimately, no one else is control of what you put in your body besides you. That being said, it sounds like your wife and you have some issues that should be talked out, with a counselor if need be. Try to get to the source of her unhappiness with you working to improve you habits.

A lot of times, spouses/partners worry that if you lose weight, you'll want to leave them for someone new. So that could be part of the reason why is she is negative about it. It may be because of different underlying issues. But its something that shouldn't be ignored and just hope that it improves. You guys need to have a serious, mature conversation about it

My dad used to sabotage me. He eats the worst food and expected me to eat with him. He'd say, "I really want (insert bad food). Do you want some?" If I said, "I can't have that but you should make it for you," he'd reply with, "Oh... I guess I won't have it then..."

It was so frustrating, but eventually I decided to be strong and ignore him and do what I needed to do for me. It's hard and I felt guilty about it for a while, but then I realized I shouldn't make him responsible for my diet's success any more than he should make me responsible for getting the food he wanted. I took control of my choices and he started realizing if he wanted that food he was just going to have to eat it on his own.

If she's depressed, there are other ways to comfort than comfort food. It took me too long to figure that out myself.

Communicate, communicate, communicate! and reassure her that you are trying to better yourself for you and that it doesn't mean that you love her any less. I'm not trying to make any assumptions about your relationship but as a wife who also spends alot of time apart from my husband, feelings of doubt about our relationship are sometimes hard to shake and even more so when you can see changes in your spouse without understanding why those changes are happening. I'm guessing that if she felt reassured and confident in the relationship that she may not throw the little sabotages at you anymore.

noah49822 wrote: »

robinhager3998 wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear that. My husband does that to me. He says he wants me to lose weight, but as soon as I get serious and stick to my journaling he wants to stuff me with food. He then starts this "Well if you don't eat any, I won't either" thing and starts pouting.

That is exactly what i have been experiencing.... that pout when there is not any good food on the table. Then I feel guilty and end up cooking something or worse ordering something that i know she likes.

She is an adult. She can feed herself if she doesn't like what you've cooked. I think that's kind of rude, after you've spent time making a meal for the two of you and for her to pout that it's not good enough. I would just stop babying her tbh. If she wants to pout and be upset because you're eating healthier and losing weight, that's on her.