Negative comments

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone.

OK, so I agree it can feel really good to say something nasty right back at people who say mean things to you. I've done it, but most of the time I try to do it in my head and not out loud. Because I agree with @NovusDies - and the golden rule of course - that we shouldn't expect people to be nice to us if we would be so quick to stoop to their level and fire back. It's not right for anyone to make comments on people's appearances in a negative way, and in a lot of cases I personally don't want to hear it good or bad. But if someone calls me fat, so I call them ugly....well I could go cry about it and say "he started it", but at the end of the day i'm just as mean as they are.

My feelings get hurt when people say mean things about me, and i've tried for too long to ignore it..move on...don't let them get to you....don't let other's words affect your mood...but at the end of the day i'm human, and words hurt. So i'm working on feeling it, reflecting on it, and taking back the power by saying ya, you're mean and you hurt my feelings, but you aren't going to ruin my day. Chin up, and onwards.

I always have a bit of a problem with topics like this. We can all agree that commenting on another person's weight is rude and inappropriate, and that a person's weight does not define them nor does it determine their character.

But it seems like these stories always end up with a statement on the body type of the person making the comment, which is what causes the problem for me. Yes, the person was acting like a jerk in that moment. But adding their body type into the mix is tying their weight to their behavior, and in cases where the person is overweight, perpetuates the "overweight means you are a lesser/bad person" stereotype.

OP, I am not sure from your post though whether this was something said to them in front of you, or if this was something she said to them in another conversation and then they told you. If she was making it as a derogatory comment in front of you, then I think you are within your rights to let her know that is not acceptable.

If she was saying it out of concern (which happens in my family, usually when someone gains weight that's a sign that there is some other struggle going on and the person wants to know if everything is ok, yay, emotional eaters) then you could probably cut her some slack. It could have also been said out of plain stupidity thanks to an outfit that wasn't fitting well, or the human tendency to distort pictures of people in our heads regardless of reality. She may remember you as being much thinner, even if you were not, especially if you had lost a lot of weight prior to the last time she saw you.

If this was said to your parents at a time you were not there, I would be wondering why they felt it needed to get back to you and why they didn't just handle it and let it drop.