Blending Weightloss and Body Positivity
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bear2303
Posts: 252 Member
Just wanting to open up a discussion around weightloss and body positivity. I've worked really hard over the last few months to lose some weight but I've also struggled with disordered eating and issues in the past. I am struggling to balance the idea of being body positive and loving where I am and what my body can do vs. knowing that i want to push myself further to be leaner and smaller. How do you balance the self-talk to be positive and healthy?
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Replies
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Well to answer generally, I don't think body positivity and weight loss are mutually exclusive. In fact, I think they go very well hand in hand. It's a lot easier to make positive and healthy changes when you love your body than when you hate it. Now loving your body doesn't mean that you don't want to change anything about it. Rather the opposite. If you truly love your body, you should want to make healthy, sustainable, changes to improve it. Same way with how one can love their country but still want to change things about it. For me, the decision to lose weight and get in shape was ultimately made from a place of loving myself and not wanting to suffer the negative health effects of being obese and out of shape. I still believed I had value when I was obese, and I never thought that my self worth was defined by my weight or appearance.
As far as what you are talking about, I think to answer your personal situation, I'd have to know a bit more. When you talk about wanting to push yourself further, what do you mean? Are you obese? Overweight? At the high end of a normal BMI and trying to push further into mid-range? Or are you already a low BMI and trying to squeeze out every last pound to get to the very bottom of what could still be considered healthy? At some point, trying to "improve" actually does more harm than good to a body, and it would be more beneficial to accept where one is at and learn how to be content with it rather than to push for a body that may be based off of unrealistic media stereotypes. Without knowing more, it's hard to say, but I think at some point, even if we may want changes, we have to do so within the confines of what is healthy and reasonable for us to accomplish. And if those changes aren't reasonable or healthy, we have to learn how to be okay with less than perfect.11 -
Body positivity has always meant, to me, that no body is disgusting or shameful. You can love yourself at 400 pounds, 150 pounds or whatever pounds you're at.
It doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't strive to be healthier, stronger, more informed. Even top athletes will tell you that it's always possible to set the bar higher. Pushing yourself is a good thing. Loving yourself doesn't mean being complacent with the status quo.3 -
I feel this. I've struggled with this so much lately. When I got pregnant (at the slimmest I've ever been, I was an overweight kid) I still felt huge and I had so many anxiety over weight gain. I realized I still had a very negative self image and I thought my weight determined my worth.
I got very sick and gained a lot and I felt so ugly it actually made me have panic attacks. Crazy.
The body positivity community is amazing and healing and I love it so much. I'm so glad it's here and rising. I do struggle a lot with how weight loss can have a place within body positivity and self acceptance. The community on instagram has helped me a lot to accept my body more, to love my belly even though it's saggy. I have come to the conclusion I feel physically uncomfortable in my body and that was the main reason why I've decided to get back on my weight loss journey.
However, I'm not using negative self talk to motivate me. I'm not looking at pictures of my slimmer body to motivate me. When I look in the mirror, I try to compliment myself and cheer myself on with positive self talk.1 -
Body positivity doesn't equal fat acceptance, as much as some online might convince you otherwise. Loving your body is taking care of it, and being within a healthy weight range for your height is one way of doing that. I take better care of things that I love.6
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Nevermind1
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Well to answer generally, I don't think body positivity and weight loss are mutually exclusive. In fact, I think they go very well hand in hand. It's a lot easier to make positive and healthy changes when you love your body than when you hate it. Now loving your body doesn't mean that you don't want to change anything about it. Rather the opposite. If you truly love your body, you should want to make healthy, sustainable, changes to improve it. Same way with how one can love their country but still want to change things about it. For me, the decision to lose weight and get in shape was ultimately made from a place of loving myself and not wanting to suffer the negative health effects of being obese and out of shape. I still believed I had value when I was obese, and I never thought that my self worth was defined by my weight or appearance.
As far as what you are talking about, I think to answer your personal situation, I'd have to know a bit more. When you talk about wanting to push yourself further, what do you mean? Are you obese? Overweight? At the high end of a normal BMI and trying to push further into mid-range? Or are you already a low BMI and trying to squeeze out every last pound to get to the very bottom of what could still be considered healthy? At some point, trying to "improve" actually does more harm than good to a body, and it would be more beneficial to accept where one is at and learn how to be content with it rather than to push for a body that may be based off of unrealistic media stereotypes. Without knowing more, it's hard to say, but I think at some point, even if we may want changes, we have to do so within the confines of what is healthy and reasonable for us to accomplish. And if those changes aren't reasonable or healthy, we have to learn how to be okay with less than perfect.
This is very insightful. For me personally, I'm still in the overweight category, my goal is to be firmly in the "normal" range for my BMI which is really only 10-15 pounds away because I'm short. Losing another 10-15 pounds is definitely achievable and healthy but I've never been that weight as an adult and getting to that place kind of scares me. I'm trying to focus on non weight related metrics (bp, heart rate going down and ability to do harder and more intense exercises) but what I'm struggling with is the idea of pushing myself further when i do feel really happy and content with the body I have for the first time in a LONG time. I want my changes to be sustainable and it worries me that if i get to a place I've never been as an adult that it won't be.
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I feel this. I've struggled with this so much lately. When I got pregnant (at the slimmest I've ever been, I was an overweight kid) I still felt huge and I had so many anxiety over weight gain. I realized I still had a very negative self image and I thought my weight determined my worth.
I got very sick and gained a lot and I felt so ugly it actually made me have panic attacks. Crazy.
The body positivity community is amazing and healing and I love it so much. I'm so glad it's here and rising. I do struggle a lot with how weight loss can have a place within body positivity and self acceptance. The community on instagram has helped me a lot to accept my body more, to love my belly even though it's saggy. I have come to the conclusion I feel physically uncomfortable in my body and that was the main reason why I've decided to get back on my weight loss journey.
However, I'm not using negative self talk to motivate me. I'm not looking at pictures of my slimmer body to motivate me. When I look in the mirror, I try to compliment myself and cheer myself on with positive self talk.
I'm trying REALLY hard not to use negative self talk. It's so hard! it's always always been my go to for motivation to lose weight. When I got pregnant with my first I was also at my slimmest and gained like 70 pounds (too much for my 5'3 frame) and 4 years and another baby later I'm still trying to take that weight off and feel secure and proud o my post-baby body. Which that in and of itself is a whole nother ball of wax... forget the weight just the changes to the way my stomach and boobs look! It's a struggle to accept that!1 -
For me body positivity is about accepting my body in the shape it is currently and also embracing changes to it - whether intentional or not. I've lost 80 pounds from my highest weight, but my BP isn't about my body being smaller, even though it is. It's accepting where I am right now. Right now I have loose skin and a bum knee. But I have loose skin because I've worked very hard so I'm glad it's there even though it's not pretty. My bum knee is bum because I've been going to the gym to get my heart healthy and build my endurance, so I'm not mad at it, I take care of it and help it not hurt so much after it does its job getting me through my workout. My BP is also embracing my age. I'm turning 45 in a couple months and I've stopped dyeing my hair. I am mostly gray. My hair is also the healthiest it's been in a decade because I stopped dousing it in chemicals every 5 weeks to hide that gray.
BP isn't about what size I am or how pretty I am to others, it's about how I feel about ME. No one else's opinion, and I feel like I've finally started really loving my body and everything that goes along with it this year.
My main way to keep my self thoughts positive and healthy is that everytime I catch myself thinking something negative about my body, I find a positive counterpoint, like I did just above. Sure I'm tired at 9pm when I used to be able to be up till midnight easily, but I'm tired because I worked out and was productive, not just sat around not moving. Sure, I'm buying 2x workout clothes, but I'm BUYING WORKOUT CLOTHES and using them! Every day! And two months ago I was buying 3x's! The positive counterpoints help me put things into perspective, which can be easily lost.3 -
The struggle to separate weight loss and body image is very real. I have struggled with yo-yo dieting and weight gain and loss my entire life. I'm now 59 and the trend continues. For me it is very mood related. Fat and happy, skinny and sad. Whenever I'm feeling good about life I eat and drink to enjoy myself and it's part of the good feelings. When I've been depressed or exceptionally stressed I can barely eat at all, so the weight drops off. Strange, but then I start to feel better about things because I'm thinner and at least there's that. It's not a healthy way to live so I'm trying to retrain my brain not to equate emotion with body image (if that makes sense).
I recently stepped back on the scale after months of avoiding it. All my clothes were getting tight again, so I knew. The number was not one I was especially happy about, but not back up to my highest weight yet either. I'm nipping it in the bud and back to logging daily, which is the key for me to successful loss and then maintenance. Just have to get back there again. After just one day back to logging (yesterday) I already feel more positive.1 -
Looks like you have a cat, and no doubt you love your cat. There might be some things that could have been better about your cat. Maybe a mean streak? A bad habit? Any other thing you wish was different? It really doesn't matter, though, because you love her/him anyway.
That's how I feel about my body and myself. I like my body just the way it is because it's dear to me, no matter what it looks like. This doesn't mean I don't see the imperfections, I see them, but I see them lovingly in an "oh well, doesn't matter" way. When you see imperfections in a loved one, do you dwell on them or is it just a passing "oh well, I love them anyway".
Because I accept my body no matter what it looks like, I accept that it will look different when I lose weight. If "different" ends up being better, why not? Do you beat yourself up for liking a loved one's new haircut better than the one they used to have? It doesn't mean you didn't accept the way they looked before, it just means you can love someone the way they are and still notice improvements.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's about accepting myself right here right now, but looking forward to accepting myself with every change and every step on the way. I think the mistake many body positivity people make is that they get attached to the idea of loving and accepting a certain shape instead of loving and accepting their body as a dear part of them, regardless of shape.5 -
RaeBeeBaby wrote: »The struggle to separate weight loss and body image is very real. I have struggled with yo-yo dieting and weight gain and loss my entire life. I'm now 59 and the trend continues. For me it is very mood related. Fat and happy, skinny and sad. Whenever I'm feeling good about life I eat and drink to enjoy myself and it's part of the good feelings. When I've been depressed or exceptionally stressed I can barely eat at all, so the weight drops off. Strange, but then I start to feel better about things because I'm thinner and at least there's that. It's not a healthy way to live so I'm trying to retrain my brain not to equate emotion with body image (if that makes sense).
I recently stepped back on the scale after months of avoiding it. All my clothes were getting tight again, so I knew. The number was not one I was especially happy about, but not back up to my highest weight yet either. I'm nipping it in the bud and back to logging daily, which is the key for me to successful loss and then maintenance. Just have to get back there again. After just one day back to logging (yesterday) I already feel more positive.
I think that i'm going to have to log for a LONG time in order to retrain my brain also, my goal is to log for a full year even if i've reached my goal weight before then. Emotions are so strongly tied to my eating as well.
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Love yourself and know that you're worth the effort.
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_faedreamer wrote: »For me body positivity is about accepting my body in the shape it is currently and also embracing changes to it - whether intentional or not. I've lost 80 pounds from my highest weight, but my BP isn't about my body being smaller, even though it is. It's accepting where I am right now. Right now I have loose skin and a bum knee. But I have loose skin because I've worked very hard so I'm glad it's there even though it's not pretty. My bum knee is bum because I've been going to the gym to get my heart healthy and build my endurance, so I'm not mad at it, I take care of it and help it not hurt so much after it does its job getting me through my workout. My BP is also embracing my age. I'm turning 45 in a couple months and I've stopped dyeing my hair. I am mostly gray. My hair is also the healthiest it's been in a decade because I stopped dousing it in chemicals every 5 weeks to hide that gray.
BP isn't about what size I am or how pretty I am to others, it's about how I feel about ME. No one else's opinion, and I feel like I've finally started really loving my body and everything that goes along with it this year.
My main way to keep my self thoughts positive and healthy is that everytime I catch myself thinking something negative about my body, I find a positive counterpoint, like I did just above. Sure I'm tired at 9pm when I used to be able to be up till midnight easily, but I'm tired because I worked out and was productive, not just sat around not moving. Sure, I'm buying 2x workout clothes, but I'm BUYING WORKOUT CLOTHES and using them! Every day! And two months ago I was buying 3x's! The positive counterpoints help me put things into perspective, which can be easily lost.
This is a great way to think about all the changes and create counterpoints to the negative self talk.
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RaeBeeBaby wrote: »The struggle to separate weight loss and body image is very real. I have struggled with yo-yo dieting and weight gain and loss my entire life. I'm now 59 and the trend continues. For me it is very mood related. Fat and happy, skinny and sad. Whenever I'm feeling good about life I eat and drink to enjoy myself and it's part of the good feelings. When I've been depressed or exceptionally stressed I can barely eat at all, so the weight drops off. Strange, but then I start to feel better about things because I'm thinner and at least there's that. It's not a healthy way to live so I'm trying to retrain my brain not to equate emotion with body image (if that makes sense).
I recently stepped back on the scale after months of avoiding it. All my clothes were getting tight again, so I knew. The number was not one I was especially happy about, but not back up to my highest weight yet either. I'm nipping it in the bud and back to logging daily, which is the key for me to successful loss and then maintenance. Just have to get back there again. After just one day back to logging (yesterday) I already feel more positive.
I think that i'm going to have to log for a LONG time in order to retrain my brain also, my goal is to log for a full year even if i've reached my goal weight before then. Emotions are so strongly tied to my eating as well.
When I first started MFP 3 1/2 years ago I logged faithfully for the first year. I lost 27 pounds and managed to keep it off for at least another year. Then I got lazy. Figured I knew what I was doing and didn't need the tediousness of logging to keep me on track. Silly rabbit.
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