What was your "time to get healthy" moment?

I didn't really have a specific moment that sparked my most recent weight loss (this isn't the first time I've lost these pounds lol). Really it was a gradual, sweaty, red-faced journey to the realization that I needed to make changes because I was miserable. Summer 2018 was a doozy at 5'5" approaching 230lbs., and I was tired of saying to myself "I'm so sick of being fat". A few things contributed to my decision to make changes:

- I was busting out of most of my clothes. Often literally, as I would rub the thighs of my jeans so thin that they'd rip, or I'd tear out the button/zipper of my pants by stretching them to their max to get them to fit in the waist.
- I was hot and sweaty all summer regardless of what I was doing. Getting out of the shower was horrible because I'd start sweating as soon as I'd begin to dry off.
- I had a hard time keeping up on break time walks with my coworkers, and began to dread being asked to join.
- I knew my then-boyfriend viewed me differently, as I'd gained almost 90lbs overall since I'd met him. Let me clarify that I did NOT choose to lose the weight for him. I did it for myself, and it didn't matter anyway because we broke up a month after I began my journey (unrelated reasons).
- I spent the summer feeling dumpy, wearing almost nothing but long pants and big tee shirts.
- Just an overall feeling of what can only be described as "blahhh".

Aside from returning to college and leaving the toxic relationship I mentioned above, this has been the greatest thing I've ever done for myself. I decided to try running about a month into the process and have since fallen in love with the sport. My "run-versary" (a year from the date of my first run) will be on September 7th.

Back in 2013 I went shopping in the Fall to get a dress for the High Holidays (Jewish Holidays) - I hadn't worn a dress in quite awhile - and obviously hadn't paid attention to my weight, which had been creeping up. I'm 5' 2" and have a very petite build - had a closet full of size 4 dresses. I grabbed a few dresses and headed to the changing rooms - was horrified to see that the size 4 did not remotely fit.....went back out and tried sizes 8 and 10 - they didn't fit either - ended up with a size 12 - and cried on my drive home. That night I found MFP, and buckled down. Lesson learned - mirrors don't lie!

I lost 40 pounds a few years ago here, and even though I didn't get to my goal, I felt fantastic. Then life happened. My dog died, my grandfather died, I ate my feelings. I slowly put on 20 pounds and yo-yoed there for a long while, which wasn't great, but could have been worse. And then I put 20 pounds more back on due to stress eating this last year. In May I stepped on the scale and was over 200 pounds, a thing I'd vowed I'd never let happen again. So I'm back counting every calorie and trying to prioritize my health as best I can. I still don't have the energy to do more than a few meandering walks with my dogs every day, which is something I need to keep working with my doctor on. But at least the scale is going the right direction.

My husband was going on a business trip and I was planning to join him to see some good friends who lived in the area. I couldn't bring myself to go because I didn't want them to see how much weight I had gained. That's when I realized I was not living my best life and I'd better get it together.

I've never, ever, been happy with my body weight. Even when I was pretty small in highschool I still thought I was way bigger than my friends. However, I have a pretty avoidant personality type - meaning my instinct is to lock negative thoughts and feelings in a box and shove them away to the back of my brain and ignore them. (Not particularly mentally healthy.)

As the years went by (I'm 27 now) I have been steadily gaining. I can see it in the mirror. I can tell by having to go up in clothing sizes each year. And I can just overall feel that my body is not well. But, back to my avoidant personality, I refused to acknowledge just how bad it was getting. I hadn't weighed myself in over eight years because I just didn't want to face the number. I convinced myself for a long time that I was sitting at around 150 and deluded myself into believing that my lifestyle was more active than it actually was. I tried calorie tracking and going to the gym and all kinds of diets over the years but never stuck to anything.

Until last month. My baby sister, who is probably 90lbs soaking wet, ran a half marathon. She's been training with her coach at school to build up a healthy lifestyle and had committed to running this marathon. I never really paid attention to what she was doing and didn't grasp the concept of what an achievement this was. I went to watch her cross the finish line with my other sisters and mother and was blown away by the atmosphere and what an incredible amount of work went into running this thing. Watching her finish the 21k honestly had me tearing up. The very next day I roped my sisters into a sibling running club. To make it fun we created a star chart and a team name and picked our own individual distance goals. We've all signed up for marathons in the fall (middle sister and I are doing a 10k, and baby sister is doing the 21k.)

We were not great at sticking to our scheduled three days a week group runs. Schedules always conflicted. And I could feel myself finding excuses not to go. What really turned the tide was forcing myself to acknowledge my weight. I went to Walmart and bought a scale, since I didn't even keep one in my house. Popped the batteries in and stepped up and was SHOCKED to see 180lbs instead of the 150 I'd estimated all these years. I'm only 5'3" and have a naturally small frame. I'm sure the 180lbs were very evident to everyone around me except myself. This shock, and the resulting mental breakdown, had me analyzing everything. It jolted me into overdrive and I downloaded MFP again. I've been logging every calorie and have increased my runs/walks to 5 times a week, usually between 4 and 6km. I've been a bit obsessive with hitting my calorie goals and I get a big kick out of logging my exercise.

It's been a couple weeks of renewed commitment and while I don't see any body changes yet, I feel more alert and motivated. I don't feel sluggish all the time and it's not a fight with myself to put my sneakers on and get out the door. I can log my morning run, and by the evening I'll want to go again. I would say the inspiration I received from my sister, the support and friendly competition with my siblings, and the shock of facing the harsh reality has made all the difference.