How to NOT hate exercise?
talhonjik
Posts: 440 Member
Hi everyone.
I don’t know if anyone has had any experience with not enjoying ANY exercise? I know I should do it to be healthy and stuff, but I find it sooo hard to motivate myself to do it. Everything I read says “just do something you enjoy!”, but I’ve had over 30 years of trying different kinds of exercise now and I haven’t found anything. I’ve tried (among many others) hiking, swimming, jogging, running, cycling, yoga, dancing, zumba, martial arts, lifting, rock climbing, acrobatics, tennis, all kinds of ball sports - plus “weirder” ones like fencing and archery etc. I’ve tried on my own, with friends, with music, etc. And nothing has ever come even remotely close to “enjoyable” - they range from running, which is at a level of “I’d rather be unfit forever and die young than ever do this again”, to swimming, which is still only at a level of “I’d still rather do my tax return than this”. And the rest fall somewhere between the two.
So ... has anyone else faced this problem and got around it somehow? Found a way to pick a form of exercise and force yourself to hate it less? Because I’m really starting to think that unless I can stop myself from hating something I currently hate, I won’t ever get fit!
I don’t know if anyone has had any experience with not enjoying ANY exercise? I know I should do it to be healthy and stuff, but I find it sooo hard to motivate myself to do it. Everything I read says “just do something you enjoy!”, but I’ve had over 30 years of trying different kinds of exercise now and I haven’t found anything. I’ve tried (among many others) hiking, swimming, jogging, running, cycling, yoga, dancing, zumba, martial arts, lifting, rock climbing, acrobatics, tennis, all kinds of ball sports - plus “weirder” ones like fencing and archery etc. I’ve tried on my own, with friends, with music, etc. And nothing has ever come even remotely close to “enjoyable” - they range from running, which is at a level of “I’d rather be unfit forever and die young than ever do this again”, to swimming, which is still only at a level of “I’d still rather do my tax return than this”. And the rest fall somewhere between the two.
So ... has anyone else faced this problem and got around it somehow? Found a way to pick a form of exercise and force yourself to hate it less? Because I’m really starting to think that unless I can stop myself from hating something I currently hate, I won’t ever get fit!
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Replies
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Let me preface this statement by saying that I do not, by any measure, ENJOY working out/sweating/burning muscles/panting.
BUT-- it is the most effective outlet for me to funnel all my anxiety out. It's like a pressure release. All that energy I would spent on worry upon worry to the point where there's no space between them, I sweat them out. I do cycle a good bit in my free time but that IS fun for me, so I won't bother with elaborating on that.
I go to the gym 4x a week and get on the 30 minute express circuit @ PF-- it's weight machines altered with cardio in between, back and forth, around a circle. I do it twice. I turn on music in my ears so loud I can't hear myself wheezing. I push my limits, and I keep going until I can't anymore, for at least an hour. I burn 800+ calories. I drip sweat and probably smell like an armpit factory when I'm done.
Is it fun? Not really. It's cool to see progress in what my body can do-- but it's repetitive and people come in and sit at machines and mess up my flow and I'm too timid to really say anything so yeah, fun isn't a word I would use. But ultimately, I enjoy the benefit of skimming off serious amounts of nervous energy.
The suffering (so to speak) is worth the reward, for me. Perhaps instead of the perfect outlet, you can adjust your perspective? Best of luck.7 -
What is it that you hate about it? When it comes to motivation, I always have goals in exercise. For running it was usually training for a race or achieving a certain distance. In yoga it's acing an advanced pose...in pole (which I loved) it was mastering a new spin, trick or inversion. It also helps to get into a routine and have a plan so there is some consistency. I have to say that when I find a form of exercise that's fun...it isn't a challenge at all to find motivation to do it. Do you not like hiking? Walking? I don't think I've ever met anybody who couldn't find a single solitary activity that they enjoyed.3
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What are your goals? Because if you're exercising without any kind of specific goals, then you might feel stagnant and bored.5
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I think it might be a matter of not overthinking it. I go into exercise with the mindset of being engaged and being in proper form (think weight lifting) to do that particular thing. I don't think about whether or not I like it until afterwards.2
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What is it about the various things you've tried that you don't like? I think it's great that you've tried so many different sports/activities, but I wonder if it's potentially an issue of, "these things all involve aspects that I don't enjoy to very degrees".
And to head off posts stating something along the lines of "there will always be things you don't like" I'll give a example. I don't enjoy being sweaty. I appreciate the function, but for various reasons being sweaty is no fun for me. That said, that dislike is overshadowed by a lot of things I do like with rowing and cycling. I can live with that dislike.
Another example is how uncomfortable I can feel on the water in small boats (rowing shells). And by, "uncomfortable", I mean visibly anxious. I once almost had a panic attack in boat last fall. That said, I like rowing enough to essentially do a lot of exposure therapy, especially now that I know that my confidence will eventually grow and the anxiety will lessen. One of my friends has said that I like to cuddle with my anxiety in the boat (note, this is not my typical way of deal with anxiety, I wish it was).
On the other hand, I really don't like everything involved with getting ready to swim and being finished swimming. The changing into and out of my swimsuit, the being way too cold for the first 150ish yards, locker rooms, hoping a brought my goggles (that's at least something I can easily account for), etc. The only redeemable quality of the before/after is that at least I can get in a hot tub after, assuming I have time. There aren't enough redeemable qualities about swimming for me to swim once or twice a week at this point in my life, especially given that I feel exhausted for the first X weeks before I get used to it. That tedious and uncomfortable set up/finish is something that I can think about when I'm trying to figure out what sport or activity to try in the future.
TL:DR - figure out what you don't like about the various things you've tried and try to avoid those aspects that you dislike OR find something with enough things you do like to overshadow the things you don't like.5 -
Have you tried getting into very many of these things? I imagine the fencing took several classes to even have a feel for it, but what about everything else? I know that I have a hard time enjoying anything I totally suck at, so I have to stick with something for quite a while to get anything out of it.
And then there is the just keep looking. I was really surprised to find that I enjoyed swing dancing. Before I took up swing dancing I always said "I like just about any music except big band." On the other hand, even as I got good at many kinds of dancing, I found that there are still some styles that my feet just won't do.
Even yoga. I always liked the idea of yoga, but yoga classes didn't work for me until we found Iyengar yoga, because the teachers are trained to help you adapt the poses to your needs. At first I found it really boring without the flow, but I now that I know what my body needs to focus on, I can get more into it.1 -
How does anyone hate hiking? Did somebody bring you on a steep and nasty trail for your first time? Maybe try an easier trail with a big payoff?
I love hiking. I would never call it fun, and the enjoyable part isn't sweating up a hill being bit by flies and mosquitoes, that's stuff I put up with for the views and the time with nature.12 -
Yeah we need more info: what do you hate about these activities? Sweat? Boredom? Fatigue? Being outside? Being inside?
Do you have a dog? My mom NEVER exercised consistently and pretty much hated all physical activity...until she got a dog. Walking the dog gave physical activity a purpose.
I'm not saying to run out and get a dog (and take on a huge responsibility), BUT if you could find physical activity that had a purpose other than movement.
I volunteer at cat shelter. I spent 3 hours yesterday and 4 hours today cleaning...I'm sure I burned thousands (or at least hundreds of calories).
ETA: a friend of mine (from the gym) volunteers at a dog rescue and walks dogs for an outside of the gym activity.7 -
Do you hate walking too? Walking is exercise. Just walk.
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Playing the drumkit, pulling church bells?4
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If you aren't sticking with anything long enough to get fit, I'm not surprised you don't enjoy exercise. At first, it is hard. Your muscles hurt, your breathing is an effort. You sweat a lot. Every workout is an effort. With time, as you get more fit, the pain gets less and the enjoyment goes up. Maybe pick a couple of activities that you'd like to get good at and stick with them for a few months. See if you start enjoying them more. If nothing else, pick an activity that you don't mind as much and do it for your health. Discipline may have to take the place of enjoyment.7
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How long did you do these activities you don’t like? I am a complete klutz (three left feet), but I went to a ballroom dance class because a bunch of my friends wanted to go. Of course I didn’t enjoy it, but I liked spending time with my friends, so I went with them the next week, and the next. Once I’d been going a couple months, I had learned enough to finally enjoy myself. I was no longer constantly thinking about which foot to put where. Dance became my main form of exercise for the next several years.
I also agree with the suggestions to find something that has a payoff that you find worth the exertion. Walking dogs, learning martial arts/self defense, or walking to a spot with an amazing view.
TL;DR Give any form of exercise enough time that you don’t have to concentrate on the exercise itself. Get to the point where you can concentrate on the payoff before you decide it’s not for you.3 -
deputy_randolph wrote: »Yeah we need more info: what do you hate about these activities? Sweat? Boredom? Fatigue? Being outside? Being inside?
Do you have a dog? My mom NEVER exercised consistently and pretty much hated all physical activity...until she got a dog. Walking the dog gave physical activity a purpose.
I'm not saying to run out and get a dog (and take on a huge responsibility), BUT if you could find physical activity that had a purpose other than movement.
I volunteer at cat shelter. I spent 3 hours yesterday and 4 hours today cleaning...I'm sure I burned thousands (or at least hundreds of calories).
ETA: a friend of mine (from the gym) volunteers at a dog rescue and walks dogs for an outside of the gym activity.
I love these suggestions, and for those who don’t like or can’t have pets, or have allergies many areas need volunteers to clean up trash from parks or walking paths. There are a lot of more active volunteer opportunities out there.
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Find your why. What do you love? WHY do you hate exercise so much?
From your picture I’d suggest archery again, fencing, riding pillion, and/or slingshot. Register for a demonstration at your next comic con. If nothing else, fear of embarrassment should keep you moving.
If you still absolutely hate all exercise, why not give it up? It could take a decade or more to catch up with you.0 -
NorthCascades wrote: »How does anyone hate hiking? Did somebody bring you on a steep and nasty trail for your first time? Maybe try an easier trail with a big payoff?
I love hiking. I would never call it fun, and the enjoyable part isn't sweating up a hill being bit by flies and mosquitoes, that's stuff I put up with for the views and the time with nature.
I loathe hiking because it involves the two things I find most uncomfortable and exhausting: walking and being outside.
I only go for walks because the alternative is leg pain and swollen feet and that sucks more. Often when we go for a walk, we go to the mall and walk there because it's air conditioned and I won't get bit, stung or sunburned. I'm terrified of sunburn.
More to the point, OP, have you tried video games? I know some people who love Wii Fit still, or DDR. I play virtual reality games. Burns lots of calories dodging bullets or punching things. But it's not exercise, I don't do it to exercise, I play because I like games and getting high scores and I don't have to be around people.6 -
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On the other hand, I really don't like everything involved with getting ready to swim and being finished swimming. The changing into and out of my swimsuit, the being way too cold for the first 150ish yards, locker rooms, hoping a brought my goggles (that's at least something I can easily account for), etc. The only redeemable quality of the before/after is that at least I can get in a hot tub after, assuming I have time. There aren't enough redeemable qualities about swimming for me to swim once or twice a week at this point in my life, especially given that I feel exhausted for the first X weeks before I get used to it. That tedious and uncomfortable set up/finish is something that I can think about when I'm trying to figure out what sport or activity to try in the future.
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Great post @aokoye . This bit in particular really stuck out to me. The set up's, before and after's can be really off-putting, sometimes even to the point of just not bothering at all. For real.
To the OP: I hope you eventually find something that you enjoy.1 -
Perhaps instead of looking for an intentional exercise, focus on getting your general activity level up - spend less time on the sofa, find activities that keep you from sitting down - arts & crafts, gardening, volunteering, dog walking,etc. Look for little ways you can increase your NEAT - taking stairs instead of lift/escalator, if you drive parking a little further away, if you take public transport getting off a stop early. All the little things add up.
Alternatively, I did notice there wasn't much in the way of watersports mentioned in your initial posts too- would that be an option to try? Rowing, kayaking, etc. I was terrified of fresh water before getting into rowing 18 months ago, but I've gotten over it now and find it so calming being out on the river. I'd say just keep an eye out for different things, one day there might just be something that clicks.2 -
What do you LIKE to do? Surely you have some type of hobby.... take that and expand on it. Even if your hobby is reading, set up a book on a treadmill and start off slow and tell yourself that you will walk while you read 1 chapter. The walking part you probably won't like but sometimes as adults we have to be a bit uncomfortable to get the results we want.1
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I hate to admit this but I originally got back into exercise when I was at my highest weight (255 or so and I'm only 5' 10", so that's obese) because I loved a bit of Peanut Butter at night. I ate back ALL of my exercise calories. I forced myself to walk, then do the Stationary Bike, then jog. I despised running. Hated it. In part because it was so painful and, in part, because I had never really done any sort of sustained cardio except in intermural BB and, perhaps, riding a bike around the neighborhood as a kid.
It sounds like you don't like the pain. I didn't either. Slowly, eventually, the pain passes. When mine did, I was able to move more and gain more "net" calories. To me, the interim pain was worth it to get more of a budget to eat. When running got too painful for me, I moved to the Assault Bike and Indoor Rower. I still wanted more net calories that I could eat back, even in maintenance!
Now, and granted this is nearly 12 years after starting to workout, I workout 7 hours a week -- most of that cardio. If I don't exercise, I feel miserable. Old habits can be changed over time. They really can.
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Friends help. Walk with a friend, instead of sitting and chatting. Meet a friend for an exercise class. OR listen to a good audio book. Sometimes I want to keep going to hear more of the book. OR if you'd rather just be watching TV , then exercise while you watch! Earn TV time through exercise!3
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