Rant - regretting birthday

emmies_123
emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am feeling so down right now and starting to hate my birthday. Last saturday I was 130.5 lbs, now I'm back up at 134.8!! I know some of it is water weight, and I haven't been able to stick to calorie goal, but damn that is so fast! And some of you are probably thinking "It is only 4 lbs," but it has taken me a year to lose 11, so that is a lot for me to gain back.

Reason for gain: my Birthday was last weekend, and we had a family event. So homecooked, hard to log calories. Then choc cake. Then eating out for date night with hubby Tues, and a Girl's night out yesterday...Still have about 10 servings of cake left, and I havent' had this cake in years because I know it's a calorie bomb. But I'm starting to hate it because I was doing so well and now I'm so upset at the gain.

I really hope more of this is water weight then i'm suspecting. And at least tonight I'm back to regular dinners that I can measure and pre-log. Still got that cake though, and as I'm likely to never allow hubby to buy it for me again I want to try to enjoy what is left of it.

Replies

  • Fitforevermore
    Fitforevermore Posts: 399 Member
    It will be ok! I've monitored my Christmas calroue gain for a few years and found that in 14 days if eating whatever i like and I mean 4/5000 calroies sometimes, I can only gain 8 real pounds, then I spend Jan and Feb losing it again, I see it as worth it. In a couple of days you can't gain that much and it's easier to lose when it goes on quick just don't let it detail you which is what I always used to do, so a week would turn into a month
  • Panini911
    Panini911 Posts: 2,325 Member
    edited July 2019
    i can't imagine you put on more than 1lb...definitely not four.

    For the cake, bring it to work, give it to a friend or trash it. Hubby can bring it to work. I've done all of these things when I had a full size of something i only wanted a portion of. Freezing works if you are ok with that. You can cut into slices/portions to freeze so at least you only unfreeze one portion at a time to eat. Or a mix of all of these, freeze 1-2 pieces for yourself later and bring the rest to work/friend or family gathering.

    ETA: the above is assuming you actually HAD a slice. if not EAT A SLICE, enjoy, thank the hubby and then do one of the above with the rest (ask hubby if he wants an extra piece and leave just a him size piece).
  • michdflo
    michdflo Posts: 2 Member
    Hang in there! I just had my birthday as well. I have a couple kids, so I get sucked in to the sweets a little bit. Totally broke my diet that day - two donuts in the morning, cake as a dessert, big dinner. Only two weeks after something similar for father's day, and about a week before 4th of July (broke my diet on those days as well).

    BUT, I went right back to the diet after each of those. I limited myself to one piece of cake on father's day and my birthday, and a couple extra drinks beyond my calorie limit on the 4th. I'm sure it set me back a little - Father's day especially set me back - my weight loss leveled off right after for a bit - but my view was I earned it. If I give myself a cheat day here and there, particularly for special occasions, my diet goes better. It may be a small, short-term setback, but makes the long-term better. There has to be some carrot (or cake!) to go along with the stick.

    So I'd echo what other folks are saying - don't make that the last time you get that cake. Don't look at it as off-limits; look at it as a special, once in a great while treat/reward for doing so well. That way it's something to look forward to, instead of something to regret missing.
  • aries68mc
    aries68mc Posts: 173 Member
    Don't beat yourself up. Just be mindful going forward on special occasions to eat those foods in moderation. Amp up your exercise. For the cake that is left, take in to work and/or freeze some or all. Turn that 10 servings into 20 and it will go farther and if you freeze some do so individually so you only take one small piece out to thaw and eat.
  • MikePTY
    MikePTY Posts: 3,814 Member
    Don't regret your birthday. You only get one a year. Your gain is mostly water weight, and I'm sure your scale will woosh down big time next week if you get back on track.

    Give away the rest of the cake. Your birthday is over, and continuing to eat it will slow you down from your recovery on the scale and keep you miserable. Maybe keep 1 or 2 servings for a treat. But not 10. If you can't find anyone to give it to, don't feel bad about throwing it out. It's better than eating it and continuing to feel unhappy about it.
  • Get_Fit_Rach
    Get_Fit_Rach Posts: 8 Member
    There are so many great suggestions here on what to do with the last 10 servings. Heck, why not half or quarter those servings, then freeze, so you are only eating a portion of it at a time? Freeze some, share some!!

    Thing is, you should be able to enjoy yourself and what you eat, and not just on your birthday. The cake is probably not the culprit here. If you are up 4 lbs, I am more apt to say it is water weight and you just need to flush it out, especially if the foods you were eating were higher in sodium. Could also be part of your hormone cycle.
    If you only lost 11 lbs in a year, unless you have a medical condition, you may want to re-evaluate what you are doing....eating more calories than you think/eating less calories than you think & your activity level. Logging your food is great, but make sure you are weighing everything & logging the weight of the item. Don't use generic entries like "Medium apple". That can you will be over/under logging your calories. 1 item won't throw you off, but doing this for every item every day can throw you off by a couple hundred calories.


    Cut back on the sodium and drink tons of water the next couple days. See where you are at in a few days.

  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    Eat it. Enjoy it. Log it. <3
  • lalalacroix
    lalalacroix Posts: 834 Member
    I'm only gonna comment on the cake. I'm a professional cake maker and my cakes are really *kitten* good. When there is a family celebration I allow myself 1 slice that is 1/16 of the cake and is always minimally 750 calories for that tiny piece.

    Anyways, cake freezes really well. Maybe you could cut the cake into small slices and freeze them individually to take out whenever you need a piece. I would probably eat frozen cake within 3 months of freezing for best flavor.



    What kind of cake was it?
  • privy95
    privy95 Posts: 82 Member
    Another vote for freezing in smaller pre cut portions. I often put treats in the freezer. You don’t feel the need to eat it right now, you can pull it out when you have arranged your food for the day to allow a slice of cake, and because it is frozen and needs to thaw a few minutes you are more likely to think about if you really want it instead of eating it impulsively. I send almost all extra desserts to work with my husband. He is the guy whose wife is a great baker which makes him a super hero (ha), and I’m not tempted.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Sorry for slow response, my view of site was down for maintenance until now and only just responses. Will try to respond to all suggestions so far.

    10 servings is between two versions of cake, and are just my part of it. I am sharing with hubby. One is an ice cream cake, from our joint birthday party (hubby's was two weeks ago). That is in freezer and will keep longer. Other is Costco choc cake (ya know, the huge 4 layer one in the bakery) that I haven't had in at least a year, more likely two. I didn't even ask for it this time, but as we had family gathering to help me chip away at it hubby surprised me. We did leave some with his parents after gathering, rest is currently in our fridge.

    The ice cream cake is homemade and I have entered recipe accurately and done my best to judge "servings." The choc cake I do weigh on a food scale, and i try to cut the smallest slices possible.

    Eating out def didn't help, and would be higher in sodium. I'm crossing my fingers that a good chunk of this is water weight but I don't want to delude myself either. But I am done with meals out for at least a week, and we are done with cookout leftovers from the weekend. Back to my normal dinners, which I can weigh and log accurately.

    I can't bring myself to trash either cake. I would share with friends if any came over but we are out of the way for most people. Hubby doesn't like clearly leftover food being taken to office, or he would take part of them.

    Will try to follow suggestion to cut small helpings of ice cream cake, stretch out those servings. Choc cake can't be cut much thinner without falling apart on knife.

    Can't really add extra exercise to life right now. Spend 30-45 mins in morning doing cardio or lifting videos. Then 10 hrs of my day taken up with work/commute. Then too full from dinner to work out at night before bed (plus it would probably wake me up too much).

    I'm 5'3" and MFP calorie limit is 1200. I was under goal Sat & Sun, but M = 54 over, Tu = 500 over, and W = 850 over. 1200 is really hard to stick to and celebrate at same time...

    It has taken me a year to lose because I really don't have that much. And because if I could go much lighter in calories I would be under the 1200 recommended for ladies. Even at current weight today I'm in "normal" BMI range (at top end sure). Goal is 125, but I like how i look at 130.

    Sorry if I missed anyone's responses.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    emmies_123 wrote: »
    I am feeling so down right now and starting to hate my birthday. Last saturday I was 130.5 lbs, now I'm back up at 134.8!! I know some of it is water weight, and I haven't been able to stick to calorie goal, but damn that is so fast! And some of you are probably thinking "It is only 4 lbs," but it has taken me a year to lose 11, so that is a lot for me to gain back.

    Reason for gain: my Birthday was last weekend, and we had a family event. So homecooked, hard to log calories. Then choc cake. Then eating out for date night with hubby Tues, and a Girl's night out yesterday...Still have about 10 servings of cake left, and I havent' had this cake in years because I know it's a calorie bomb. But I'm starting to hate it because I was doing so well and now I'm so upset at the gain.

    I really hope more of this is water weight then i'm suspecting. And at least tonight I'm back to regular dinners that I can measure and pre-log. Still got that cake though, and as I'm likely to never allow hubby to buy it for me again I want to try to enjoy what is left of it.

    Do the math. 4 Lbs of fat gain would be 14,000 calories over your MAINTENANCE calories. It's water and more inherent waste in your system...likely a combination of higher calorie intake (increases water weight) and more food (more food = more inherent waste in your system) and if you're consuming more carbohydrates than normal that will also cause you to hold onto water...higher sodium will also cause you to hold onto water.

    I can easily swing 2-5 Lbs up or down any given day. Not everything on the scale is fat.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    Don't beat yourself up too hard over fluctuations. As others have said, there's no way all of that is fat. For instance, last night I went for a run. I weighed myself afterwards out of curiosity and came in at 230.7 lbs. I showered, drank some water, and ate dinner (a great big burrito from Chipotle). Maybe an hour had passed at this point. Curious, I weighed myself again, and came in at 235.9 lbs. Despite what the scale is showing, I definitely didn't gain 5 lbs in an hour. Most of the weight should come off in the next few days as everything balances back out.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Thanks everyone. This morning stepping off that scale felt so demoralizing. And I KNOW some of it is water weight, just not sure how much to attribute to that and not wanting to give my brain an excuse to stay off track by saying "it will come off soon."

    *HUG* appreciate everyone's words of kindness, encouragement, and realism.
  • dhiammarath
    dhiammarath Posts: 834 Member
    I just came off of birthday/anniversary month: 2 weeks of traveling, vacation plus 1 week of a work trip plus birthday week and then the fourth of july weekend. I've "gained" 7 pounds since June 1, but my measurements have largely stayed the same. I say largely because here and there is a slight increase (in millimeters) in some measurements.

    For these kind of events (holidays), I rely on measurements to know/understand if birthday month has gained me actual fat vs. a lot of water weight that will coincide with the monthly water dance I go through. So while the weight "gain" is frustrating, the fact that my measurements haven't changed is encouraging! Measurements are what ultimately matter in the long run. Eventually, I know I'll lose the weight.

    Good luck and never regret your birthday!! It's your day!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,265 Member
    Can you defer stressing more about it for a week or so? If so, I think you'll be relieved at the outcome.

    I always celebrate my birthday, which always means more than one indulgent dinner and some rich, delicious goodies. Birthdays, at my age (63), are well worth celebrating; we never know how many we have left (and that's acutely clear to me as a cancer survivor).

    Thing is, what we do one or a few days of the year is just a blip in the big picture. What mostly determines our weight is what we do 350+ days, not the other 15ish days.

    It's not a birthday story, but I'm thinking that reading this thread might be a little reassuring:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10603949/big-overfeed-ruins-everything-nope

    Hope so. Best wishes! :flowerforyou:
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Thanks for the kind words. I like to celebrate my birthday too, because not having one is a sad alternative.

    I still had choc cake last night (and relished while eating). I managed to cut a slice that was 1 oz lighter, and as each ounce is approx 120 calories that was yay =)

    The scales were a bit nicer to me this morning too. went from 134.8 yesterday to 132.2 today. Y'all were right to tell me to wait, and the little voice in my head knew that going in. But the louder voice yesterday was the anxiety/depression voice yelling at me that I ruined all my hard work and might as well give up.

    132.2 seems realistic for the amount over calories this week. If more comes off quickly, all the better. If not, i worked it off once and can work it off again.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    Others have already covered why you need to be patient and not stress over the celebratory indulgence as the true impact is probably not as bad as you think. Wondering about your numbers though.

    What do you have your rate of loss set at? If less than 20 lbs to lose then you should be aiming for 0.5 lb/week.
    That may give you a higher calorie target than 1200. It may help you not feel like these celebrations are unmanageable.

    You said you’ve lost about 11 lbs in the last year.
    Do you use a food scale for logging accuracy?
    Do you log and eat back exercise calories?
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    emmies_123 wrote: »
    and might as well give up.

    I call that the Why bother? voice. The Why bother? voice is the prelude to quitting. Look at the big picture. How would this have gone if you had no program at all? Regardless of how this episode plays out you are acquiring knowledge you can use going forward.

    Weight loss has a learning curve, a really long learning curve. Stick with it.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    Others have already covered why you need to be patient and not stress over the celebratory indulgence as the true impact is probably not as bad as you think. Wondering about your numbers though.

    What do you have your rate of loss set at? If less than 20 lbs to lose then you should be aiming for 0.5 lb/week.
    That may give you a higher calorie target than 1200. It may help you not feel like these celebrations are unmanageable.

    You said you’ve lost about 11 lbs in the last year.
    Do you use a food scale for logging accuracy?
    Do you log and eat back exercise calories?

    When I started Journey I had 20 to lose, so at 9-11 off I'm about halfway to goal. I have rate set at 0.5, still get 1200 calories. And honestly when I don't have large calorie items in the house this is fine. Eating regular portions, I normally eat about 1050-1200 a day and feel content. But I can't maintain that and eat out or have cake.

    I do exercise and eat back about half. I had to find a workaround for this, as my brain will see the MFP number is green and go "we can have that extra thing". So instead of logging full time of exercise I log half the time (30 min workouts logged as 15, etc). I also only use the "Calisthenics, light" for anything I do not involving weights, as that gives the lowest burn estimate. When I was logging full time, or using "aerobics" I found that eating back calories was making me plateau at best, and go slightly up at worst. This sounds complicated but it works and is easier than rewiring my brain.

    I do have a food scale (digital) and log accurately at home. I pre-bag work snacks/lunch so I know I"m only eating a serving. When we do go out, if I can't find the restaurant we went to on database I choose another restaurant's item of the same name. So far I have found restaurant logging matches what the menu's say for calorie count, so I'm comfortable with estimates system.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    88olds wrote: »
    emmies_123 wrote: »
    and might as well give up.

    I call that the Why bother? voice. The Why bother? voice is the prelude to quitting. Look at the big picture. How would this have gone if you had no program at all? Regardless of how this episode plays out you are acquiring knowledge you can use going forward.

    Weight loss has a learning curve, a really long learning curve. Stick with it.

    Oh god the size of the slices I would be eating if I didn't have a program in place! Once I got a desk job my weight bloomed up 30 lbs in a year. Which was a lot for me, I had always been the same size since high school, but it still didn't show under clothes so people didn't notice. I started slimming for my wedding and managed to lose 10 lbs being fairly restrictive with diet and cycling on stationary bike (which i hated). Gained back 5 after wedding, then started journey here last April.

    I'm honestly constantly amazed still by the changes I've made. I actually look forward to going to the gym on weekends now...I'm working on myself verrrrry gradually so there isn't really a noticeable difference in my physique. I haven't gone down at all in sotmach/hip measurement. But I feel better energy-wise, and I'm hitting strength training milestones slowly.

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