Losing weight didn't make me happy

Losing weight didn’t make me happier.

Being able to run for longer than 10 minutes in a row made me happy.

Lifting weights made me happy. Being able to go for long walks with my Mom made me happy.

Not obsessing over every single thing I ate made me happy.

Learning to cook for myself and for others made me happy.

Being able to find clothes that fit easier made me happy.

Spending time with my boyfriend at the gym made me happy.

Being able to eat spicy ramen and drink wine with my friends without worrying about a number on the scale made me happy.

Losing weight was just a side effect of changing my mentality on how I wanted to live the rest of my life

My turning point was going to the sand dunes with my boyfriend's family. I was so embarrassed that I wouldn't be able to climb back up the dunes that I didn't go down them at all. It was at that moment that I knew something needed to change. I wanted to be stronger, I wanted to run faster, and I wanted to prove to myself that I can make a positive change.

Back in July when I was first getting started on MFP, I decided that I needed to change my mentality about weight loss. It's not all or nothing and if you can't enjoy the process, then it's going to be so much harder. I realized that googling "how to lose 30 lbs in 8 weeks" wasn't going to get me anywhere if I couldn't sustain the weight loss. So I lowered my rate of loss to .5 lbs a week and set realistic expectations.

That being said, I weighed myself once a month, took measurments, and decided that if this was going to be long term I can't be fixated on a losing a specific number of pounds in a specific time period because it wasn't making me happy! I wanted to EAT instead of restrict the things I love (warm buttery crossaints mmm). Instead, I learned to love the process of loving and taking care of my body and my mind. It wasn't easy and I had to create new habits which took a long long time, but it was so worth it because I finally feel comfortable both mentally and physically.

Whew, this was long winded. I hope that maybe this can help people who had the same thought process as I did when first starting on this journey (so cliche, I know). You CAN do it!