Now and Then and thoughts (everyone)
JJLush2510
Posts: 15 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I used to train pretty heavy weights, and got myself to the (Then) pic, however my fiancé does not like the look, I have been out of the gym for 2 years ended up in terrible shape, and have now started training for the last 5 days and look like (Now) pic.
The problem is when I look at them I can’t understand why I would ever want to remain the way I am now and why I wouldn’t want to get back to how I was, however my fiancé wants me to do some training but avoid either a 6 pack style physique or get to the size I was before.
What are other folks opinions also have others got some interesting now and then pics and stories/ comments?
The problem is when I look at them I can’t understand why I would ever want to remain the way I am now and why I wouldn’t want to get back to how I was, however my fiancé wants me to do some training but avoid either a 6 pack style physique or get to the size I was before.
What are other folks opinions also have others got some interesting now and then pics and stories/ comments?
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Now and Then pic4 -
What do you want? I am also not fond of the body builder physique, but at the end of the day, it's your body. You have to live in it 24/7. You get veto rights0
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Honestly I can't tell a difference in the pics except for your new phone case.5
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Is a new fiancé an option?7
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Motorsheen wrote: »
I agree lol0 -
Hahaha - you might want to listen to her a little bit. At the end of the day, it's your body - do as you like - at least she's being honest enough to tell you what she prefers.
Why do you want to be that big? (I'm just curious, there's never been anything remotely sexy about an oversized bodybuilder to me. I like my guys in shape, but not so extreme).
As a girl - I was going to go for a more professional 'short' haircut - my boyfriend was horrified.....so it's going to stay long. You looks like your in great shape right now! I'm going to side with her.3 -
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I changed my appearance once for my partner and I just didn't feel like myself. I think you look great, and should do what makes you feel true to yourself.2
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You have to do what is right for you. It is your body and health.0
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Don't skip leg day.
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Your body isn't going to stay one specific way forever. But it IS going to be your body forever. If you told her you wanted her to drop/gain some weight, would she do it for you? Or get mad about it and tell you she will do what she wants because it's her body?
I don't know what type of relationship you guys have, but if someone told me that they wanted me to look a certain way, that wouldn't sit well with me. If you don't care, then do whatever.
But me personally, I will do what makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. And if the person I am with truly loves me enough to commit the rest of his life to be with me, then he will be ok with it (as long as what I am doing is not harmful to my health - then I expect him to speak up).3 -
Did you meet and hook up with your now-fiance when you were your then physique? That is a pretty relevant piece to this relationship puzzle. Are they trying to change you, or are you wanting to change on them?
I have a very, very good friend for over 25(!) years now who had - and still does to a more or less degree - your then physique when we met in our early 20s. He became a friend, and not more, precisely because of it. I am not sexually attracted to the body type, end of the discussion, and wasn't about to try to change either of us because that never works. So friends it was.
People are correct; bodies do change, epecially as we age. We gain a bit of weight, thicken/widen out, get saggy, lose collagen, gain pot bellies, back lipomas, pick up/drop activity levels/fitness routines, %BF goes up and down, etc., etc. However, this is not that. Extremes are extreme.
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I think your fiance (or fiancee?) is probably being honest with you about their preference. It's hard to know whether or not it's a controlling, jerky move on their part or simply a preference. Would it be a dealbreaker if you got back to that size again? If so, I'd question further - would it be a dealbreaker if you were injured and gained weight, or had a medical condition that caused you to lose a LOT of weight. Important things to consider (IMO).
My husband has a naturally muscular/bulky physique which I like very much. At one point before he met me, he was obese, but when I met him I really liked the size he was, slightly overweight and very muscular. He got very into running and cycling at one point and was much leaner...leaner than I probably would have preferred. For reference he's a broad 6'2" man who was wearing medium shirts. He put on quite a bit of weight again, and wasn't too happy about it but I told him he looked great to me (and he did). Now he's having some (fairly minor) medical issues that mean a stricter diet and losing weight again. As his wife, I'm there for any way that he looks. If he gets really thin, which I doubt, I'll still love him and find him attractive even if he doesn't have my "favorite" body shape for a man. He's still my favorite man! And still hot to me.
Likewise...he met me when I was 90 lb heavier. He was attracted to my curves and particularly my very wide hips/bum. After losing that amount of weight, nearly a whole woman, I still have wide hips/bum, but what if I didn't? What if I'd gone flat in the back and narrow hipped? I like to think he would still be into me. We're partners, companions, lovers. If it was all physical I think that would be very shallow!
Just my thoughts. I see others sharing theirs, so I figured why not.
And at the end of the day, it IS your body and your choice.2 -
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Both pics are impressive.
Honestly, warning bells are going off. That might sound dramatic but i can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who thinks they have any right to tell me how they want my body to look, much less override my own personal preference. Won’t be long before she’s dictating when you get to see your friends and telling you to choose between her or your mom. 😬6 -
caco_ethes wrote: »Both pics are impressive.
Honestly, warning bells are going off. That might sound dramatic but i can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who thinks they have any right to tell me how they want my body to look, much less override my own personal preference. Won’t be long before she’s dictating when you get to see your friends and telling you to choose between her or your mom. 😬
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@Motorsheen - not sure if it’s the cheap Canadian beer I’m drinking but for some reason I killed myself laughing at this.Motorsheen wrote: »Is a new fiancé an option?
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