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“Don’t lose anymore”

ChelseaBitsChelseaBits Member Posts: 20 Member Member Posts: 20 Member
People have been pretty supportive for my entire weight loss journey. But as I’m getting closer to my goal weight I’m hearing “don’t lose anymore” from more and more people. I started at 242lbs and am at 156 now. I am still about 5 pound over the top range of the healthy weight range, and I’d like to be closer to 140, nothing crazy thin or anything. I am just so tired of hearing that phrase over and over again. Does anyone else hear this? What is your response?
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Replies

  • lx1xlx1x Member Posts: 34,982 Member Member Posts: 34,982 Member
    I get the same comments..

    You're close to the goal so just say you are done and on maintenance now ..
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 32,351 Member Member Posts: 32,351 Member
    No one has to live in our body. Yaass, you will hear this. Some of it is doublespeak and some are backhanded compliments. You don't want to get too skinny now. I receive the majority of these comments from individuals who watch every morsel like a hawk. I don't feel the need to justify myself. Simply smile and keep tooling along.
  • gottswaldgottswald Member, Premium Posts: 122 Member Member, Premium Posts: 122 Member
    I get it all the time. And before that I got a lot of, "Don't lose too much!". I'm still 30-50lbs off my goal. I feels unsupportive but I know it's not meant to be that way. I usually tell them I don't have a goal weight and I'm going to eat more and gain some back once I find where I want to be.
    edited August 2019
  • LyndaBSSLyndaBSS Member, Premium Posts: 6,979 Member Member, Premium Posts: 6,979 Member
    You do you. Let them do them. ☺
  • glovepuppetglovepuppet Member Posts: 1,714 Member Member Posts: 1,714 Member

    It's the sort of thing nobody would say to me, because they can imagine how I might react. You don't need to be polite when responding to rudeness.

    I think this is one area where I actually have a distinct advantage because I'm socially tone deaf :D
  • TubbyTattleTubbyTattle Member Posts: 9 Member Member Posts: 9 Member
    I did get this a lot, and I honestly think people are just trying to be polite. What else are they going to say? "You're still fat"? Haha

    I, too, struggled with the compliments, though. My weight loss counselor said when people start noticing and commenting on your weight loss, that's when you tend to get lazy and self sabatage.

    I keep reminding myself that I am losing weight for my own health, not for validation by others.
  • amandarawr06amandarawr06 Member Posts: 251 Member Member Posts: 251 Member
    About 5 years ago, I lost over 50lbs in 8 months. I went from 222lbs to 168lbs. I wasn't at my goal yet and still had about 30lbs to go and was still overweight for my height. But I remember getting those comments all the time. I think its just a way for people to give you like a back handed compliment.

    For others it may just be a shock to see a thinner version of you. I mostly ignored the comments because I found I would get too annoyed trying to defend myself. It wasn't worth it. Just do you!
  • elisa123galelisa123gal Member Posts: 4,040 Member Member Posts: 4,040 Member
    You should tell them what you told us. "According to the medically endorsed BMI chart, or Body Mass Index for healthy weight." I'm actually at the top end of my healthy weight range and if I lost another 20 pounds, a medical doctor would still not consider me underweight. So, thanks for your concern, but I'm gong to lose to the middle of my healthy weight range as my personal goal." ...and drop the mic.
  • Hollis100Hollis100 Member Posts: 1,304 Member Member Posts: 1,304 Member
    "That's between me and my doctor."

    The worst question: a couple of years ago, I achieved a normal weight and a neighbor wanted to know if I'd lost the weight because I was seriously ill/dying (I'm 5'3" and was 140 lbs at the time, high end of normal). I'm a polite person by default, but believe it's okay to hit back with sarcasm or say you're appalled they would even ask.




  • Farfalla707Farfalla707 Member Posts: 13 Member Member Posts: 13 Member
    Silly story but I remember the first time I rode a roller coaster after losing 130 lb, my husband was also at his leanest ever (having also lost a lot). We sat down and the worker tightened the rail across our stomachs twice because it wasn't tight enough on the first go...and he said, "Y'all need to eat a cheeseburger!" and that cracked me up because for about 15 years I had avoided amusement parks out of fear of not fitting on rides.

    This is hilarious. I love it. :D Thanks for sharing! :)
  • mjglantzmjglantz Member Posts: 153 Member Member Posts: 153 Member
    I got the same comments. Started at 226 and when I got to about 160 (the high end of "normal" BMI) I started to get the "don't lose anymore weight!" I basically acknowledged for their comments with a neutral comment and changed the topic. I've ended up at about 140 +/- 2 lbs and strangely enough don't get those comments anymore. Maybe because I've been at this weight for about 6 years.
  • Deanner03Deanner03 Member Posts: 294 Member Member Posts: 294 Member
    I get this, too. I generally try to assume good intent, but I have a good 25lbs to go to get to a healthy BMI (I've lost almost 80). I just tell them that my primary care provider and I have discussed my goals, and we're both comfortable with it.
  • GirlheidiGirlheidi Member Posts: 60 Member Member Posts: 60 Member
    I've had the same but I just say "well my BMI still says overweight, so I'm going by that"
    Can't argue with facts....
    I'm close 25.6 but still overweight.
    I was obese so loving the new weight but I'll stop when I want, not when others tell me too.

    And FWIW I eat icecream most days 😀
  • 88olds88olds Member Posts: 3,899 Member Member Posts: 3,899 Member
    Noise. Try to tune it out. I can’t believe how much noise there is in weight loss.
  • seltzermint555seltzermint555 Member Posts: 10,678 Member Member Posts: 10,678 Member
    mjglantz wrote: »
    I got the same comments. Started at 226 and when I got to about 160 (the high end of "normal" BMI) I started to get the "don't lose anymore weight!" I basically acknowledged for their comments with a neutral comment and changed the topic. I've ended up at about 140 +/- 2 lbs and strangely enough don't get those comments anymore. Maybe because I've been at this weight for about 6 years.

    Same here! I'm still in the high 160s, but started over 300. After six years at my current weight, the comments have stopped. I posted a photo recently from when my husband and I first met and I was 90 lb heavier than I am now...a bunch of friends were saying "what the HECK I don't remember you ever looking like that!?" and that was around my weight for almost all of my twenties and at the beginning of my thirties I'd been even heavier. People just get used to you being at a certain weight I think. My friends obviously remember that I used to be much, much bigger, but I think they see me so much at my current size that they have kinda forgotten HOW much bigger.
  • rmberrarmberra Member, Premium Posts: 20 Member Member, Premium Posts: 20 Member
    My inner mantra is something that my trainer and nutritionist posted a number of months ago:

    "Don't worry about what I'm doing. Worry about why you're worried about what I'm doing."

    It helps me remember that the person who says "don't lose anymore weight" tells me much more about themselves than about me when they make that comment. Or it could be some sort of canned response.
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