“Don’t lose anymore”

No one has to live in our body. Yaass, you will hear this. Some of it is doublespeak and some are backhanded compliments. You don't want to get too skinny now. I receive the majority of these comments from individuals who watch every morsel like a hawk. I don't feel the need to justify myself. Simply smile and keep tooling along.

I get it all the time. And before that I got a lot of, "Don't lose too much!". I'm still 30-50lbs off my goal. I feels unsupportive but I know it's not meant to be that way. I usually tell them I don't have a goal weight and I'm going to eat more and gain some back once I find where I want to be.

It's the sort of thing nobody would say to me, because they can imagine how I might react. You don't need to be polite when responding to rudeness.

I think this is one area where I actually have a distinct advantage because I'm socially tone deaf

About 5 years ago, I lost over 50lbs in 8 months. I went from 222lbs to 168lbs. I wasn't at my goal yet and still had about 30lbs to go and was still overweight for my height. But I remember getting those comments all the time. I think its just a way for people to give you like a back handed compliment.

For others it may just be a shock to see a thinner version of you. I mostly ignored the comments because I found I would get too annoyed trying to defend myself. It wasn't worth it. Just do you!

You should tell them what you told us. "According to the medically endorsed BMI chart, or Body Mass Index for healthy weight." I'm actually at the top end of my healthy weight range and if I lost another 20 pounds, a medical doctor would still not consider me underweight. So, thanks for your concern, but I'm gong to lose to the middle of my healthy weight range as my personal goal." ...and drop the mic.

seltzermint555 wrote: »

Silly story but I remember the first time I rode a roller coaster after losing 130 lb, my husband was also at his leanest ever (having also lost a lot). We sat down and the worker tightened the rail across our stomachs twice because it wasn't tight enough on the first go...and he said, "Y'all need to eat a cheeseburger!" and that cracked me up because for about 15 years I had avoided amusement parks out of fear of not fitting on rides.

This is hilarious. I love it. Thanks for sharing!

I get this, too. I generally try to assume good intent, but I have a good 25lbs to go to get to a healthy BMI (I've lost almost 80). I just tell them that my primary care provider and I have discussed my goals, and we're both comfortable with it.

Noise. Try to tune it out. I can’t believe how much noise there is in weight loss.

My inner mantra is something that my trainer and nutritionist posted a number of months ago:

"Don't worry about what I'm doing. Worry about why you're worried about what I'm doing."

It helps me remember that the person who says "don't lose anymore weight" tells me much more about themselves than about me when they make that comment. Or it could be some sort of canned response.

If it was someone who was truly concerned about my well-being, and arguably had a close enough relationship to me to comment, I mostly went with "my doctor and I are happy with my progress and weight goal" (which was true).

I think a lot of this relates to 3 things:
1. People are used to seeing us heavier, so we look "wrong" thinner.
2. So many people are overweight these days, that overweight looks pretty normal, and a healthy weight looks relatively thin, maybe scary thin.
3. Realistically, after quite a bit of weight loss, many of us have a little bit of loose facial skin that hasn't had a chance to shrink back yet, and other visible signs of the weight loss process that can - as in my case - make us look a little haggard to others for a while. It's no big deal in reality, but it alarms people. (I definitely looked better a few months after hitting goal weight, even though at the same body weight.)

Don't let it throw you, it's completely normal, and - as others have said - people generally get over it once you've been at goal weight for a while. But yeah, it's weird.

It isn't a backhanded compliment, but the person who said is more than likely used to you being the weight you were, as you lose the lbs and slim they find it hard to get use to it. Just ignore and continue. Another well known comments as you get slimmer is "you don't need to diet" or "you can afford to eat this cake/24" pizza/200lb tub of ice cream" etc etc etc, they have no idea how hard you are working/have worked, don't let them sway you from your goals.

Truth is, most people don't like when people are successful. Also, misery loves company.

I agree with what someone said above that sometimes weight loss can make your face look haggard, which can make it seem alarming for you to lose more. I had an acquaintance who lost weight fast prior to her wedding, and if I hadn't known better I would have thought she was seriously ill, her face was so gaunt-looking. The change in her was shocking, and personally I thought she looked better before. She was pretty fit to begin with. Of course I kept my mouth shut, but this might be why some people are saying things to you.