Accountability

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mpowers666
mpowers666 Posts: 2 Member
in Motivation and Support
I need someone to hold me accountable

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  • nighthawk584
    nighthawk584 Posts: 1,995 Member
    edited August 2019
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    Lynda is right. It's up to each individual to want to change. I had a little push from my Dr but that was it. She had no idea that was the spark to get me to lose 60 lbs so far. I see her in two months, she'll be shocked! :) You can do this, if you really want it! Good luck!
  • lillyy23
    lillyy23 Posts: 136 Member
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    lol i am the same way. and i feel like thats a habit thing. just like all of our other habits we are trying to kick.
    we have to keep telling ourselves that we just need to do it whether or not someone is watching. i have always been like that when i was young . And I dont even have alot of friends so maybe its a loneliness thing.
  • mpowers666
    mpowers666 Posts: 2 Member
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    All I wanted was support, not negativity. I am starting to do this all by myself so if you dont want to support people, then dont write on someones post
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    edited August 2019
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    Nobody is being negative. I'm sorry you feel that way.

    Had you asked for support, we would have responded in a different way. I'm all about support. But you asked for someone to hold you accountable.

    We're here to support you through the process. ❤
  • GaleHawkins
    GaleHawkins Posts: 8,160 Member
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    mpowers666 wrote: »
    All I wanted was support, not negativity. I am starting to do this all by myself so if you dont want to support people, then dont write on someones post

    @mpowers666 I can see where you may be coming from and many of us have done the same. Maybe 50 years ago I was introduced to a phase, "If it is to be it is up to me". That phrase has made life much easier because the power of 1 is huge in these matters.

    Best of success.
  • AmbrrrB22
    AmbrrrB22 Posts: 18 Member
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    As someone who hasn't been on this app very long, I too was discouraged when people's response to asking for accountability was "that's up to you". That is not a helpful response at all. Maybe that's not how people mean it when they say it, but it doesn't feel good to hear when you're being vulnerable enough to ask for help in this difficult journey.

    I think the comments on here have confused accountability with motivation. No one can motivate another person to change, but holding someone accountable is part of being supportive. You obviously have the motivation because you're here. Good for you! As for accountability, I would be glad to be an accountability buddy for you, just as I hope you would do for me!
  • gottswald
    gottswald Posts: 122 Member
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    @mpowers666

    I don't think people are being dismissive or negative but rather trying to help you become stronger by changing the question. It's kind of the 'teach a man to fish' theory? The way I see it, if you rely on others they will fail you because they don't make your decisions and aren't there all the time. Can people motivate you? Sure. But motivation only lasts so long, motivation will eventually fail you. If you want to be successful, and I would assume everyone here wants you to be, you need to be consistent and that means eliminating the the thought process of needing something. The way I read it, you're being told that you have that power. You are not dependent on something external to you.

    That said, everyone is different. We all need education and even the occasional support of others some days. It is a massive undertaking and confusing, full of dogmatically defended false mythos and slickly marketed pseudoscience. So, while I believe the only way to do this successfully is to change how you view things so that it is part of your identity and not something you endure or need motivation for... let me change the question a bit further. When you say you need someone to hold you accountable, for what are you really asking?

    To have some friends who can see your diary, so they see if you're eating right? Some help figuring out how to formulate a food plan? Help figuring out what to eat to accomplish those goals? (I struggled with that a lot.) Maybe a group that posts their progress weekly? How is do you imagine being 'held accountable', because people do all that stuff to help each other constantly. Sometimes, the greatest challenge is figuring out the right question.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
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    @gottswald

    Very well said.

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