This old dog wants new to learn new tricks

Is it possible? I mean of course it is but the consistency needed is outrageous!!!!! I’m not complaining and know the only person in my way is me!
Went to noom for a year with a 4 pound weight loss. Honestly i think the day i entered my starting weight i was bloated and more likely up four Pounds with no weight loss for the entire year. Maintaining yes! I can basically eat whatever i want and maintain this weight of which i am obese.
I’m back to logging calories and understanding that no matter how i hit the floor sometimes - no matter if i fail, falter, eat baskin Robbins sundaes for dinner once in a while if i don’t GET BACK UP and keep running i will maintain this obese weight and lifestyle.
Sounds crazy but i am an active person. Can you imagine what i must eat to maintain this weight while moving as much as i do??? I am 53 and in pre menopause which i know means my...what do you call that.... METABOLISM is much slower than in years past.
Finally I’m at the point where my blood pressure is high (runs in family and have been taking meds for years of which i know weight loss would help), am pre diabetic and my cholesterol is 20 points above what it should be.... so it’s not about looks anymore. In fact i never lost it to complete the quest of looking better . It’s now about HEAlTH!
I know there is so much to learn while i try and shed this weight, figure out my mental status (which is questionable for sure), work through my anxieties and fear, work through a marriage i like at times and loath at others, work through obsessing about one of my children who soooo capable but acts like a 12 year old! (He’s 20) .... fear worry fear worry fear worry..... the stuffing and over eating keeps it all at bay but the honest truth is it does not. It actually adds to my issues
I’m obsessed with yoga and it helps me so much! Problem is when i stop? It’s hard for me to get back on. I’m in the hard to get back on stage....
And so I’m returning to the south bronx to teach 30 six year olds with a 3 hour a day commute! When work is done .... work is NOT done. I have weekend and weekly night work to do for work. Long story short i am stressed during the school year and again.
There are millions of things i can do to help myself-
So here i am jumping on the wagon to try again!!! I’m always trying but always repeating the same mistakes.
I am here. I am a good person and i have a LOT to offer this world. I’m sure God Is teaching me things to improve my life during all the pain.... i must open my eyes, heart and ears. Thanks for listening!
#suxualabusesurvivor !!!!