Being honest with yourself.................
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Being a trainer, many of my female clients open up (I don't ask) to me and many are dissatisfied with their relationships with their spouses. They believe that part of their weight issues stem from the stress they get from their relationships.Just wondering, if you are happy, what made you think of these questions today?
In a couple of posts I read this morning, there was a couple that stated their husbands just come home from work and play video games, eat like crap and don't want to go out and do anything.
This is why I posted it. Just curious and hoping that if someone was stuck in that rut and got out, that they may be able to pass that on to others who read it.0 -
Being a trainer, many of my female clients open up (I don't ask) to me and many are dissatisfied with their relationships with their spouses. They believe that part of their weight issues stem from the stress they get from their relationships.Just wondering, if you are happy, what made you think of these questions today?
In a couple of posts I read this morning, there was a couple that stated their husbands just come home from work and play video games, eat like crap and don't want to go out and do anything.
This is why I posted it. Just curious and hoping that if someone was stuck in that rut and got out, that they may be able to pass that on to others who read it.
Those husbands are gonna be really mad when their wives get the confidence to leave their sorry *kitten*, and then be accusing them of sleeping with their trainer LoL!0 -
Being a trainer, many of my female clients open up (I don't ask) to me and many are dissatisfied with their relationships with their spouses. They believe that part of their weight issues stem from the stress they get from their relationships.Just wondering, if you are happy, what made you think of these questions today?
In a couple of posts I read this morning, there was a couple that stated their husbands just come home from work and play video games, eat like crap and don't want to go out and do anything.
This is why I posted it. Just curious and hoping that if someone was stuck in that rut and got out, that they may be able to pass that on to others who read it.
My husband and I play video games together.... don't hate on the video games!0 -
Lol, funny you mention that because I've had some women tell me that! That they spend more time with me then them! One was getting so hot, that the husband ended up joining the gym to get into shape so he could "compete".Those husbands are gonna be really mad when their wives get the confidence to leave their sorry *kitten*, and then be accusing them of sleeping with their trainer LoL!0 -
I don't hate video games. I game myself. The point was that some want more than just playing video games but hubby doesn't want to do more.My husband and I play video games together.... don't hate on the video games!0 -
Can I play if I'm divorced?
I totally settled. And that's not entirely hindsight speaking. I knew we weren't a good fit even before I proposed. But I didn't think very highly of myself, so I kinda took what I could get, so to speak. I knew I could keep the marriage together... but I didn't realize how much harder it would be once we had kids.
No, I don't think I could have "been" more had she been more supportive. I got married right out of college, my first REAL relationship... I never had a chance to grow into myself.
Getting divorced and the 3 or so years of singledom that came after it were the best thing for me. Notice I said best, not happiest. They were frequently filled with depression, and I teetered on the edge of developing a drinking problem... but I grew A TON in that time. I know myself better than I ever have, I'm more confident in who I am, and I have a clearer/more developed idea of who I am and what I want out of life.0 -
I don't hate video games. I game myself. The point was that some want more than just playing video games but hubby doesn't want to do more.My husband and I play video games together.... don't hate on the video games!
Well an xbox doesn't demand to be cuddled with after you're done pressing its buttons.0 -
:laugh: That could've been my answer :bigsmile:Marriage #1...all YES.
Marriage #2...all NO!!!!!!0 -
Being a trainer, many of my female clients open up (I don't ask) to me and many are dissatisfied with their relationships with their spouses. They believe that part of their weight issues stem from the stress they get from their relationships.
In a couple of posts I read this morning, there was a couple that stated their husbands just come home from work and play video games, eat like crap and don't want to go out and do anything.
This is why I posted it. Just curious and hoping that if someone was stuck in that rut and got out, that they may be able to pass that on to others who read it.
My advice to those women is that it's time to put on their big girl panties. My husband's not into losing weight or exercising but I've still been able to lose the weight. He is very supportive, don't get me wrong, it's just that he's not willing to make those changes right now. And I'm fine with that - it's his decision and I can't force him to change anymore than someone could've forced me to change before I was ready. What I can change are the things that I can control. If their hubbys express a problem, they need to have a talk and figure out a way to find a compromise - that's what marriage is about.
The one meal we share every day is dinner and there was no way I was going to cook two things. So I adapted my daily calories/routine so that my dinner was the biggest meal of the day (most of the time) and I made some slight changes in our favorite recipes so that they were lighter (used less pasta, more veggies, leaner meats, etc) or found lighter versions. They weren't all acceptable but most of these changes have stuck. For the rest of the meals, I pack and plan and exercise to earn more calories and this has worked very well for me so far.
As far your OP
1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?
I defintely didn't settle. Thought I might have in the beginning and we actually split up for a few months but when it came down to it, I couldn't leave him. I'm so crazy about him it's sickening.
2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?
Again, he is very supportive. If he has a problem, we talk about it and find a way to compromise.
3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?
NO WAY! I have single friends and there is no way I'd want to be out there again!0 -
There are electronic options for sex if that's your issue.
Well an xbox doesn't demand to be cuddled with after you're done pressing its buttons.0 -
1. Nah, I think I'm the reacher in the relationship.
2. He's always there cheering me on. He treated me like he thought I was just as sexy at 245lbs as he did when I was 150. I'm not sure it's possible for him to be more supportive than he already is.
3. Not at all. The more I hear my friends talk about their husbands, the more I appreciate mine. I've had friends tell me that he should give classes on being a good husband or ask if he would talk to theirs.0 -
I love my man. Just ain't ready for marriage. Not yet...... His credit would bring down my credit plus we fight bout money alot. Don't wanna have to split all the bills yet. LOL
Two words:
Dave Ramsey
(Saved our marriage and our financial lives....)0 -
This is kinda personal, but it also helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:
1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?
2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?
3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?
For me the answer is NO to all since I've got the woman I really wanted, I have all the support in the world, and being single means I'd have to wear my pants to ground to get any look these days.
Wow....so weird that you asked these questions. After TWO YEARS of asking myself these exact same questions, I FINALLY decided that I'm NOT going to settle and I deserve to be happy! Three weeks ago I told my husband that I want a divorce. We have 2 children and I had a lot of feeling very selfish going on. Took me a long time to get over that. Still not completely over it. Life is short and I cannot live the rest of it with someone that I feel out of love with and does not make me happy. I did kinda feel like he was holding me back to. I want to travel, he never wanted to. I want to go to college again too and just never really got around to it. Yes, I want to be single again. Be by myself for awhile and just breathe.0 -
1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?
I believe this is the best I deserve... and I believe I deserve a LOT!
Is he perfect? No. No one is. But he's RIGHT for me.
2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?
Nope. I can't imagine how he could possibly be more supportive.
3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?
No! I run a dating advice forum. I get daily reminders why I wouldn't want to be "out there" again.
Where is this forum you speak of????0 -
I'd give anything to be married to my husband for a bajillion years... the last 6 have been amazing despite health trials. I have an amazing hubby.0
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I have to agree with the other poster.... The more I hear about people talk about their husbands on this forum the more I appreciate mine.
AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!0 -
You're telling this to the wrong person(s). Go tell him.I have to agree with the other poster.... The more I hear about people talk about their husbands on this forum the more I appreciate mine.
AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!0 -
1. Yes, I think I did settle for my spouse...I had just left school when I met him and married him when I was 20. Here was a good looking guy with a job, a car and a house....at the time I just couldn't believe my luck!
2. No, my husband is very easy going and has always supported me...although I'll admit.we are both very set in our ways now after 35 years of marriage and 2 grown up kids...our marriage is about give and take in equal measure and we know each other so well.
3. No, I've never wished to be single again. The thought fills me with dread..I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.0 -
1. No...
2. He could volunteer to watch the kids and push me out to do things more but that's about it. He's supporting me through grad school. He'll keep the kids away when I work out (if he's home and they are awake). He helps me eat well, mountain bikes with me, snowboards with me, etc.
3. Sometimes I think live would be easier if I didn't have children but really I don't wish I was single or that I didn't have children, I wish I had a full time live in nanny.0 -
And those of us who aren't...... helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:
1. No, I DID NOT SETTLE.... I did not get married. I had opportunities, but to be honest there are times when I wish I HAD settled.
I would have had kids. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted to be a Mom, that ship has sailed without me. I didn't want to married the wrong man just so I could be a Mom. That's not really good for kids.
Maybe, I threw away chances with kind companionable men because I was looking for big over the moon, soulmate kind of love.
2. Yes, Society really is geared toward married couples. While marriage is hard work, there is lots that's hard about being single too. I know the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.... There are pluses and minuses to everything.
I always imagine life could be much less work if there was someone to cooperate with on the minutiae of life. I cook dinner, you clean-up. I get the car serviced, you mow the lawn. I clean the bathroom, you vacuum the livingroom. It seems there would be more time for fun. Actually, it seems like just having someone to do those day-to-day things with would make life more fun.
Now, I know every married person out there is screaming at the top of their lungs about all the added responsibilities of marriage and kids and how cushy I have it.
3. Truly, there are times I am grateful that I am single.
• My husband never embarasses me in public.
---never uses the last of the TP
---never leaves his dirty socks on the floor (that's my job)
---never picks fights
---never leave the gas tank on empty
• I never have problems with my In-laws
• We never argue about what's for dinner or what to watch on TV or how ratty my big terry robe looks.
• I can buy whatever I want or save enough to feel safe.
• I'm not built for conflict and that's inevitable as part of a couple.
I see power struggles my friends and family go through with their spouses. To me it seems if you're not on the same team what's the sense?0
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