My husband is so mean sometimes!

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LaSutopia
LaSutopia Posts: 1,195 Member
in Motivation and Support
So last night I asked my husband if I get to my goal of 155 would be work on himself? Like get his shoulders and chest built back up and lose the gut like he was when I met him. See he was fit when I met him. I was over 200 lbs when he met me. He has never been satisfied with my weight at all but I never cared that he put on weight and all. And I told him that. Every time he said something about his weight I would tell him I did not care and it did not make him less attractive to me. He however was always telling me I was fat and he was not attracted to me. He is also always putting food in my face like cookies and other junk food! Like he is not even trying to help me. He eats all kind of junk food and he wants me to keep it in the house....anyway He said, "yea. you get to 155 Ill do it." but he sounded sarcastic. I asked him why he sounded like that. He said, "because I am an addict I know what it's like. You are a food addict and I don't think you will do it." I was so mad at him. I told him he was just jealous that i was kicking my addiction and he was not. I got up and did my 30 day shred and he came in later and said he was proud of me and that he was jealous. But I know he still does not believe I can do it. I want to prove him wrong soooo bad!
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Replies

  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Are you saying that even when you got together he said you were fat and he wasn't attracted to you? If so, why did you get together? Putting your partner down all the time is classic abusive behaviour.
  • medoria
    medoria Posts: 673 Member
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    And you should not be trying to loose weight just to prove him wrong, thats complety wrong!
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
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    my suggestion is to do this for you, not him. You believing you can do it is the ONLY thing that matters. So, get yourself hot hot hot, then leave his sorry a** for a hotter, sweeter guy. I JEST, but maybe ask him if he is interested in counseling at all, because that is not healthy for either of you. It sounds like it is a good thing he finally told you his real feelings, but bad that he hurt yours so much in the process.
  • Jrab6486
    Jrab6486 Posts: 31
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    DO it for yourself! Keep up the good work and PROVE HIM WRONG! I am proud of you for getting to the point that you are at! Continue to your goal....he will be jealous....and You are beautiful now, just wait until you get to your goal! Hopefully you will inspire him!
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
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    Sounds like you married a true winner. Congrats.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    yeah, you need to ditch this loser YESTERDAY! kick him to the curb or wait til the abuse gets intolerable - your call. I'm telling you now, it's NOT GOING TO GET BETTER and neither will he. And he will NEVER be someone I'd want in MY bed
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
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    That's really too bad! I'm sorry he feels like he needs to bring you down. Maybe he will wake up and realize that you are trying to better yourself and he needs to stand behind you on this journey. I hope things get better for you real soon! I have hubby issues as well but not about my weight thank god!
  • sexyminxinthemaking
    sexyminxinthemaking Posts: 451 Member
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    i had a partner with similar views and it gave me the boost to loose 3 stone about 2 years ago and then i gave him the boot for the lovley man im married to now so every cloud has a silver lining dont let him get you down and when you have proved him wrong start doin the same to him :)
  • prjoy98
    prjoy98 Posts: 250 Member
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    It sounds like he's being selfish and is obviously jealous. Most men think that a comment like this one isn't "abuse" and most of us women will beg to differ...it's "mental abuse" all the way!! Please do this for YOU and not anyone else. It's your life in your hands. If he's jealous he can move his butt by your side when you are doing your 30DS!
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
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    Stay with him, lose the weight, then leave his sorry *kitten*!!
  • frugalmomsrock
    frugalmomsrock Posts: 1,123
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    Are you saying that even when you got together he said you were fat and he wasn't attracted to you? If so, why did you get together? Putting your partner down all the time is classic abusive behaviour.

    Ditto. ^^

    Power and control. They have all the power when they make you feel worthless.
  • kaylynn54
    kaylynn54 Posts: 141
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    I just don't know what I would do if my husband didn't support me in trying to lose weight!!! You have done a wonderful job of losing weight and getting healthy!!!! Just keep doing what you are doing and know that you have lots of supporters here on MFP. You go girl ;-)
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I'm glad he did apologize, but wow. Don't let a man talk to you like that.
  • abbie017
    abbie017 Posts: 410
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    As an outsider who is only going off of what you said, this sounds unhealthy to me. He's putting you down over and over, diminishing your success. In your post, you discuss, sabotage, sarcasm, not being satisfied by your weight, not being attracted to you ... these aren't very healthy interactions for someone who is supposed to love and cherish you. If my significant other said any of that to me, he'd be on the curb collecting his boxers faster than he could grab another cookie.

    I think you need to have an honest conversation with him and tell him what you just told all of us. It's worth a discussion, and maybe that will get him to step up and act like your husband. He could be trying a "tough love" approach, but it's clearly misguided if he is.

    Keep using your frustrations to motivate you. You can succeed at this if you keep at it. Best of luck to you!
  • boisevore
    boisevore Posts: 14 Member
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    Pray for him until he comes around. Show him there is a better way :)
  • lildevil968
    lildevil968 Posts: 152 Member
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    I agree with the other PP's about proving him wrong, but Iam having a very hard time understanding why he doesn't support you?
  • dorisholaway
    dorisholaway Posts: 531 Member
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    My ex husband was worse then yours. He was a skinny thing that could not gain weight if he wanted to. I tried to lose weight for him many times. Many times when I decided to diet he would go to the store and buy about 10 or so boxes of Little Debbies and bring them in the house. He knew that I could not resist them. He finally divorced me about 17 or so years ago, and about 85% of the reason is because I was over weight. I now am losing weight for me and me alone. Do not let him put a damper on your progress and just do it for yourself and your health, even if he does not want to lose any weight himself.
  • boisevore
    boisevore Posts: 14 Member
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    Speaking as someone who came around 6 mos after his wife. xD
  • smrtcar
    smrtcar Posts: 104 Member
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    DTMFA.
  • Leanne1795
    Leanne1795 Posts: 186
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    Do you have children? If so, do they hear him talk to their mother like that? If not, do you intend to have children that will hear all this sort of stuff and do you want them to grow up thinking it is ok? Just a thought.

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