Can't find a"why"! Help!

Okay so I'm not a newbie at diets... I've moved in and out of a healthy weight range for years. I had 4 kids in 6 years, and my youngest is now 3, I'm heavier now than I've ever been... I always kept my pregnancy weight gain low but never did as well with nursing weight gain, and gained about 10 lbs with every baby, and now I'm 40 lbs overweight 😣


Here's the thing... My life is full. I'm really happy and enjoying most of what's happening in this season right now. The only way I can stick to something long-term is when I have a goal in mind that's truly motivating. I'd like to lose the weight, but it's not bothering me bad enough to keep at it. I need to find something that I can keep coming back to that I can focus on achieving for reasons that motivate me.


I know the standard go-to's... Feel better, look better, be healthier for you and the kids, clothes fit better, sleep better, longer life, etc... None of these things are really A big motivator for some reason. I sleep well, my blood pressure and overall health are great, I just had a physical and no red flags.


Any unorthodox "why I do this" ideas people could share that really helped them stick with it? I know I need to for all the reasons above, but on a day to day basis I'm having a hard time making it a priority in my life.

TIA!
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Replies

  • dewit
    dewit Posts: 1,468 Member
    Think also of where you'll be in a few years of not doing anything about it. At the end you might end up by factually slightly yo-yo-ing, but that might be almost like maintaining (if it's by only a few lbs). Or you might let weight slowly creep on. A bit of maths will show you where you might get if you're not actively doing something about it.
  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
    edited September 2019
    Some issues have an accumulative affect with aging, like bad knees.
    I agree with chelny, but from a perspective of 67. When you get older, if you’re healthy, your body will thank you. Bonus you will be able to do things with your grandchildren. Unlike so many unforeseen occurrences, weight is something we can do something about to lessen risks from being overweight.
  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
    Yea Annie! You go girl!
  • TheMrWobbly
    TheMrWobbly Posts: 2,541 Member
    edited September 2019
    Unorthodox whys for motivation to try to lose weight - how about DON'T TRY! This is my humble opion. To lose weight you have to want to lose weight more than you want other things such as food, tv, etc. There are times when some other things are more important than losing weight.

    I'm not seriously saying you shouldn't make lifestyle choices to give yourself a better chance of losing weight. Do the simple things, walk instead of drive, take the stairs not escalators, choose better options when eating, weigh the portions (we seriously over fed our children without realising). Don't make losing weight a priority but make it a result of other changes that fit with things that matter to you right now. Play actively with your children instead of sitting down watching them, just move more than you currently do.

    If you try to make losing weight fit in a lifestyle where it won't fit the chances are you will get fed up quickly and go the other way.

    When the time is right and you genuinely put losing weight as a priority you may find you are half way there through a few simple changes.

    Good luck.
  • Pamela_Sue
    Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
    SO many great ideas that have given me some thoughts to ponder.

    Ask yourself what are your goals for your family? Instill good eating habits. Activity as a family, finding fun things to do together. Setting an example of positive body image. A friend of mine has teens and she is careful to not let her weight struggles and efforts effect her daughters' self-image.

    So, perhaps your goal is growing strong, healthy children with a positive image of themselves, and having enjoyable family moments together. Perhaps now isn't your time to lose, but instead a time to maintain and be active. Take some time to think about what you want for your family, write down your thoughts, and make that your goal.
  • gallicinvasion
    gallicinvasion Posts: 1,015 Member
    edited September 2019
    I don’t get it; why are you changing your way of eating if you don’t have a “why”? Why do you even want to change things to move into a lower weight, then? Just stay the way you are 😎👍
  • My why is sadly driven by wanting to be treated my human feminine and so I push to get to proper weight. I also have goals that are tightly packed in being fit as it’s what it is.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,404 Member
    edited September 2019
    accoladryn wrote: »
    Thank you so much for all the tips, I truly did come away from this discussion with some good ideas of things to try! Both to focus on, and strategies to discover more motivation.

    And while not a typical sentiment to expect in MFO, thanks to 88old for the encouragement that maybe it's okay to just spend this season focused on my kids and our life as it is. I DO want to lose this weight, it's annoying enough that it bother me mildly on a daily basis, and I will find a way to do something about it,... That said, the societal expectation of my appearance relative to weight has always generally annoyed me more than inspired me,... The idea that my role busting my butt everyday to "mom" and "wife" isn't sufficient, ... if I'm not thin while doing it, I'm not doing enough. Ill never feel enough drive to get on top of this by trying to meet some arbitrary cultural standard, so I know I need to find my motivation for myself. But I think rather than focusing on it being something I'm failing at, maybe thinking of it as something I'm going above and beyond to accomplish in this hectic season where i AM already working my butt off, will also be more encouraging.

    Thanks so much everyone!!

    One of the [many] things I had not realized when I was over-weight was just how tough life was with lugging all that extra poundage and emotional baggage around.

    It got so much easier when I lost the weight that it's like I'm a whole different, better person in every way.

    Yeah, it was difficult to lose the weight and I had to change a lot, but it was totally and completely worth every day that I logged food and stayed within calories. Was that every day? No - but it was enough of my days, over and over, combined with Time that led to me now being a healthy weight and shedding that difficulty moving and that inner critic.

    Start. It really isn't that hard and it's so worth it.
  • GrizzledSquirrel
    GrizzledSquirrel Posts: 120 Member
    I loved reading every single comment in this post. You have all really got me thinking. I appreciate the care and thoughtfulness you put in every comment. You are all wonderful!

    I second this. Good reading.

  • NoHookUpZone
    NoHookUpZone Posts: 1,531 Member
    Bottom line is, everyone can be encouraging and supportive. Ultimately it's your why and mindset that will make you stick to it.
  • tecat810
    tecat810 Posts: 4,803 Member
    I was in a similar situation 18 months ago when I realized that my now 5 year old had a mommy that was in the older range and had gained 40 after I stopped nursing. So I asked for a gift from my husband for mother's day and it was the best gift ever. I asked to have time and money for personal training. My trainer helped navigate my downfalls with nutrition and upped my fitness and strength level. Since I started I lost 40 pounds and can run 5 miles and strength train like never before! And feel great! That's my why! His name is Sam and I want to be healthy for him even though I might be the one that looks like a grandma at his high school graduation!