Can't find a"why"! Help!

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  • Pamela_Sue
    Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
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    SO many great ideas that have given me some thoughts to ponder.

    Ask yourself what are your goals for your family? Instill good eating habits. Activity as a family, finding fun things to do together. Setting an example of positive body image. A friend of mine has teens and she is careful to not let her weight struggles and efforts effect her daughters' self-image.

    So, perhaps your goal is growing strong, healthy children with a positive image of themselves, and having enjoyable family moments together. Perhaps now isn't your time to lose, but instead a time to maintain and be active. Take some time to think about what you want for your family, write down your thoughts, and make that your goal.
  • gallicinvasion
    gallicinvasion Posts: 1,015 Member
    edited September 2019
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    I don’t get it; why are you changing your way of eating if you don’t have a “why”? Why do you even want to change things to move into a lower weight, then? Just stay the way you are 😎👍
  • TheChristianSimone
    TheChristianSimone Posts: 156 Member
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    My why is sadly driven by wanting to be treated my human feminine and so I push to get to proper weight. I also have goals that are tightly packed in being fit as it’s what it is.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,944 Member
    edited September 2019
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    accoladryn wrote: »
    Thank you so much for all the tips, I truly did come away from this discussion with some good ideas of things to try! Both to focus on, and strategies to discover more motivation.

    And while not a typical sentiment to expect in MFO, thanks to 88old for the encouragement that maybe it's okay to just spend this season focused on my kids and our life as it is. I DO want to lose this weight, it's annoying enough that it bother me mildly on a daily basis, and I will find a way to do something about it,... That said, the societal expectation of my appearance relative to weight has always generally annoyed me more than inspired me,... The idea that my role busting my butt everyday to "mom" and "wife" isn't sufficient, ... if I'm not thin while doing it, I'm not doing enough. Ill never feel enough drive to get on top of this by trying to meet some arbitrary cultural standard, so I know I need to find my motivation for myself. But I think rather than focusing on it being something I'm failing at, maybe thinking of it as something I'm going above and beyond to accomplish in this hectic season where i AM already working my butt off, will also be more encouraging.

    Thanks so much everyone!!

    One of the [many] things I had not realized when I was over-weight was just how tough life was with lugging all that extra poundage and emotional baggage around.

    It got so much easier when I lost the weight that it's like I'm a whole different, better person in every way.

    Yeah, it was difficult to lose the weight and I had to change a lot, but it was totally and completely worth every day that I logged food and stayed within calories. Was that every day? No - but it was enough of my days, over and over, combined with Time that led to me now being a healthy weight and shedding that difficulty moving and that inner critic.

    Start. It really isn't that hard and it's so worth it.
  • GrizzledSquirrel
    GrizzledSquirrel Posts: 120 Member
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    rachelleahsmom wrote: »
    I loved reading every single comment in this post. You have all really got me thinking. I appreciate the care and thoughtfulness you put in every comment. You are all wonderful!

    I second this. Good reading.

  • NoHookUpZone
    NoHookUpZone Posts: 1,531 Member
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    Bottom line is, everyone can be encouraging and supportive. Ultimately it's your why and mindset that will make you stick to it.
  • tecat810
    tecat810 Posts: 4,465 Member
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    I was in a similar situation 18 months ago when I realized that my now 5 year old had a mommy that was in the older range and had gained 40 after I stopped nursing. So I asked for a gift from my husband for mother's day and it was the best gift ever. I asked to have time and money for personal training. My trainer helped navigate my downfalls with nutrition and upped my fitness and strength level. Since I started I lost 40 pounds and can run 5 miles and strength train like never before! And feel great! That's my why! His name is Sam and I want to be healthy for him even though I might be the one that looks like a grandma at his high school graduation!
  • mel35645
    mel35645 Posts: 267 Member
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    Maybe you need to think about it from the why not point of view? You can do this! You deserve it we all do.
  • J155J
    J155J Posts: 1 Member
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    I am inspired by the comments! Thank you all for sharing!!!
  • littlegreenparrot1
    littlegreenparrot1 Posts: 694 Member
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    I got fed up with being fed up.

    I also got into running. I get so much out of it. Trail running, adventure racing, obstacle courses are all so much fun.

    My personal strategy is to concentrate on good eating habits, and to follow my training plans.
    I keep track of my weight, but don't track calories very closely.

    You could pick some fitness goal that the children could be involved with and take it from there.
    (fun runs, inflatable obstacle courses, hikes up a local mountain, etc)
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    hmmm I say pinch hit to your vanity... have someone take candid true pictures of you.. don't pose and don't give it your good side. a nice real true to life photo may very well do the trick.
  • jo_nz
    jo_nz Posts: 548 Member
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    One bit of advice I read somewhere that helped me, was to not worry about losing weight...
    Instead, find some type of activity (exercise/sport) that you love doing, and focus on that. When you find something you love, you want to do more or get better, and the focus on health and nutrition can grow quite naturally from that.

    I know that is just one snippet of advice, and not suited to every situation or person, but it was something that clicked with me, and it's working. I am much more positive and staying on track better now that it's not about losing weight, it's about doing something I enjoy - the weight loss is a benefit that is slowly happening on the sidelines.

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