Adulting limits? Responsibility fatigue?
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Funny enough, I am meeting with a dietician. My referral to the dietician resulted from complaints to my primary care doctor who didn’t know what to do with me. We did all the tests. And then some more. I’m as healthy as I’ve ever been. The majority of my day is driven by my focus on personal health and wellness. Haven’t had any insights with the dietician yet after 4 visits. I don’t have anything getting in my way other than lack of stamina. We shall see...1
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I feel this so much! I teach 3rd grade and am constantly making decisions throughout my day and running around and I find it so so hard to make being healthy yet another thing. I try to plan my calories out for the week and log them early so I can just eat whatever is planned but I struggle if I end up eating out/going off schedule/etc. and sometimes it adds to my stress levels. Anyway, I'm going to a counselor soon to hopefully relieve a little stress and get some tips on how to fight all the decision fatigue! I'll let you know if I find anything helpful 👍2
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I found this infographic the other day. Replace "self-care" with "adulting" and this is what I am thinking of. I can solidly manage 29 things on this list, but I try to add one and I feel like I reached a cap of some sort, I'm just worn out and tired so I make the choice that doesn't serve me.
I don't think anybody alive does all these things, that doesn't seem realistic. That being said, there are 5 things I want to add that I think would do me a lot of good. I wonder if I should try to expand my adulting/responsible/self-care cap somehow, or focus on giving up one of the things I'm good at to allow more space for the things I really want to add? It seems like the former is my only option, as I can't imagine letting go of what I have (all boxes are checked for emotional, personal, space, and financial. Unless this very post is indicative of poor stress management. I am not sure if I'm over-stressing just by thinking of this or if this is a healthy desire to maximize my wellness and place....)
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A lot of it is about finding balance, like many other people have suggested. But for me, I made a decision that fitness and a healthy diet would me my top priority. Sometimes my house is a little messy. Sometimes I don't catch up with friends as much as I should. Sometimes I'm not a perfect sister or daughter-in-law etc. Sometimes my boss doesn't think of me as the perfect employee, when I leave at 12pm on the dot every day to take a walk at lunch, even if a "crisis" comes up. But I ALWAYS find time for my health. Make it a priority. Be selfish. Let something else fall off your plate. Nothing is more important than your health.5
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I have a big problem with this, to the point where I can definitely start neglecting important parts of responsibility (like paying bills and cleaning my cat's litterbox daily) because I'm just so tired of it all. Right now I'm practicing rewarding myself for "regular" responsibilities like making my bed. I use Habitica so I get a small amount of "coins" for each completed habit and then I can "spend" them on rewards when I've saved up enough.
I'm also working on trying to follow an 80% rule to combat perfectionism. I remind myself that getting 80% of the way there takes a minuscule amount of time compared to trying to get 100% of the way there. Things like sweeping the kitchen floor but not mopping. Sweeping makes it look way better and even though it isn't perfect, chances are no one is going to notice the 20% missing. So, I always sweep, and only mop if I'm in the mood. I will usually be in the mood often enough, but if I'm not, it won't become a insurmountable problem because sweeping keeps it nice enough to extend times between mopping. If I had to both sweep and mop every time, I'm more likely to do neither because of the dread.10 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I have a big problem with this, to the point where I can definitely start neglecting important parts of responsibility (like paying bills and cleaning my cat's litterbox daily) because I'm just so tired of it all. Right now I'm practicing rewarding myself for "regular" responsibilities like making my bed. I use Habitica so I get a small amount of "coins" for each completed habit and then I can "spend" them on rewards when I've saved up enough.
I'm also working on trying to follow an 80% rule to combat perfectionism. I remind myself that getting 80% of the way there takes a minuscule amount of time compared to trying to get 100% of the way there. Things like sweeping the kitchen floor but not mopping. Sweeping makes it look way better and even though it isn't perfect, chances are no one is going to notice the 20% missing. So, I always sweep, and only mop if I'm in the mood. I will usually be in the mood often enough, but if I'm not, it won't become a insurmountable problem because sweeping keeps it nice enough to extend times between mopping. If I had to both sweep and mop every time, I'm more likely to do neither because of the dread.
I could have written this post (go figure!) Right down to scooping the litterbox and sweeping but not mopping.
I also feel like my tolerance for "busy-ness" is low. I'm an introvert. It takes significant stretches of quiet downtime for me to even begin to recharge, which is very inconvenient for someone with a full-time job, spouse, children, pets, etc. I try to appreciate to busy days, knowing someday they'll be gone, but it doesn't keep me from wishing for a week straight where I don't have to talk to anyone
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RelCanonical wrote: »I have a big problem with this, to the point where I can definitely start neglecting important parts of responsibility (like paying bills and cleaning my cat's litterbox daily) because I'm just so tired of it all. Right now I'm practicing rewarding myself for "regular" responsibilities like making my bed. I use Habitica so I get a small amount of "coins" for each completed habit and then I can "spend" them on rewards when I've saved up enough.
I'm also working on trying to follow an 80% rule to combat perfectionism. I remind myself that getting 80% of the way there takes a minuscule amount of time compared to trying to get 100% of the way there. Things like sweeping the kitchen floor but not mopping. Sweeping makes it look way better and even though it isn't perfect, chances are no one is going to notice the 20% missing. So, I always sweep, and only mop if I'm in the mood. I will usually be in the mood often enough, but if I'm not, it won't become a insurmountable problem because sweeping keeps it nice enough to extend times between mopping. If I had to both sweep and mop every time, I'm more likely to do neither because of the dread.
I could have written this post (go figure!) Right down to scooping the litterbox and sweeping but not mopping.
I also feel like my tolerance for "busy-ness" is low. I'm an introvert. It takes significant stretches of quiet downtime for me to even begin to recharge, which is very inconvenient for someone with a full-time job, spouse, children, pets, etc. I try to appreciate to busy days, knowing someday they'll be gone, but it doesn't keep me from wishing for a week straight where I don't have to talk to anyone
YES. People at work wonder why I take staycations most of the time, and it's because I just need a few days to talk to nobody. I just want to lay with my cat and watch some videos. I don't even participate on forums on those days. I just need a break from all social interaction. I don't hate social interaction, but it's so exhausting that I start to neglect myself if there is too much of it.6 -
RelCanonical wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »I have a big problem with this, to the point where I can definitely start neglecting important parts of responsibility (like paying bills and cleaning my cat's litterbox daily) because I'm just so tired of it all. Right now I'm practicing rewarding myself for "regular" responsibilities like making my bed. I use Habitica so I get a small amount of "coins" for each completed habit and then I can "spend" them on rewards when I've saved up enough.
I'm also working on trying to follow an 80% rule to combat perfectionism. I remind myself that getting 80% of the way there takes a minuscule amount of time compared to trying to get 100% of the way there. Things like sweeping the kitchen floor but not mopping. Sweeping makes it look way better and even though it isn't perfect, chances are no one is going to notice the 20% missing. So, I always sweep, and only mop if I'm in the mood. I will usually be in the mood often enough, but if I'm not, it won't become a insurmountable problem because sweeping keeps it nice enough to extend times between mopping. If I had to both sweep and mop every time, I'm more likely to do neither because of the dread.
I could have written this post (go figure!) Right down to scooping the litterbox and sweeping but not mopping.
I also feel like my tolerance for "busy-ness" is low. I'm an introvert. It takes significant stretches of quiet downtime for me to even begin to recharge, which is very inconvenient for someone with a full-time job, spouse, children, pets, etc. I try to appreciate to busy days, knowing someday they'll be gone, but it doesn't keep me from wishing for a week straight where I don't have to talk to anyone
YES. People at work wonder why I take staycations most of the time, and it's because I just need a few days to talk to nobody. I just want to lay with my cat and watch some videos. I don't even participate on forums on those days. I just need a break from all social interaction. I don't hate social interaction, but it's so exhausting that I start to neglect myself if there is too much of it.
Today is a full day of conference calls at work. Tomorrow is an all-day meeting. I will be a grumpy, exhausted mess by the end of this week, if not before. It's not that the work is harder on these days (if anything it's easier); it's just the peopling .6 -
Adulting can be a real drag some days. My biggest weakness is right after work when I'm tired, hungry, and can't imagine cooking or working out. I'll do well all day and then...ay here goes the bad food. I think I'm going to try journaling on here after work to remind myself of why I'm doing this and take some sparkling water. Ill give it a try and see how that works! I really want to lose this weight. Good luck!2
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I found this infographic the other day. Replace "self-care" with "adulting" and this is what I am thinking of. I can solidly manage 29 things on this list, but I try to add one and I feel like I reached a cap of some sort, I'm just worn out and tired so I make the choice that doesn't serve me.
I don't think anybody alive does all these things, that doesn't seem realistic. That being said, there are 5 things I want to add that I think would do me a lot of good. I wonder if I should try to expand my adulting/responsible/self-care cap somehow, or focus on giving up one of the things I'm good at to allow more space for the things I really want to add? It seems like the former is my only option, as I can't imagine letting go of what I have (all boxes are checked for emotional, personal, space, and financial. Unless this very post is indicative of poor stress management. I am not sure if I'm over-stressing just by thinking of this or if this is a healthy desire to maximize my wellness and place....)
You don't have to do everything! Adulting is about prioritising. What matters most to you? And it may vary by the day or week or month or year.
You might find this thread interesting ... https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10708923/whole-of-life-challenge/p1
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I've found that I have to exercise. It gives me a lot of energy and mental focus. When I don't get my heart rate up for several days or a week, I can feel myself getting sluggish and more scattered. I just want to sit on the couch and eat! Also, I used to think I had no time to do stuff. But when I started exercising and watching my calories, I found I was spending less and less time on my phone. I am now down to maybe 30 minutes a day doing emails & facebook. It is actually a huge time saver!2
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I've found that I have to exercise. It gives me a lot of energy and mental focus. When I don't get my heart rate up for several days or a week, I can feel myself getting sluggish and more scattered. I just want to sit on the couch and eat! Also, I used to think I had no time to do stuff. But when I started exercising and watching my calories, I found I was spending less and less time on my phone. I am now down to maybe 30 minutes a day doing emails & facebook. It is actually a huge time saver!
I had to get off the phone games for sure. I didn't realize just how much time I was spending on them, even though I was "only" spending 15 minutes or so on each. I kept my favorite and let the rest go, and earned a surprising amount of time. Now, if only I could cut down a little on my youtube watching and go read a book instead, lol.4 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I've found that I have to exercise. It gives me a lot of energy and mental focus. When I don't get my heart rate up for several days or a week, I can feel myself getting sluggish and more scattered. I just want to sit on the couch and eat! Also, I used to think I had no time to do stuff. But when I started exercising and watching my calories, I found I was spending less and less time on my phone. I am now down to maybe 30 minutes a day doing emails & facebook. It is actually a huge time saver!
I had to get off the phone games for sure. I didn't realize just how much time I was spending on them, even though I was "only" spending 15 minutes or so on each. I kept my favorite and let the rest go, and earned a surprising amount of time. Now, if only I could cut down a little on my youtube watching and go read a book instead, lol.
I did this in the past few months by unsubscribing to a few YouTubers I wasn't honestly that into, and then making a special point of sitting down 1-2 times a week to catch up on YouTube videos. Previously I'd set aside time just about daily & then wound up wasting a couple hours almost daily.
As for the book reading, I always tell myself it's quality time away from a screen and blue light. Because I have some minor eye issues that's encouragement enough!2 -
I find it helps me a lot to reframe my duties as choices. “I need to clean the kitchen, food prep breakfast for the next few days, and then go lift weights,” makes me want to throw myself off a high place. “I get to make delicious food, enjoy my lovely kitchen, and then go find out if I can set a PR on deadlifts,” is much better. However, it only works when the stuff you do really does have an upside - if you sort of hate your kitchen even when it’s clean, your food is boring, and you hate what you do to work out, it doesn’t work so well. It’s worth it investing just a little extra to make sure the things you do every day are as enjoyable as they can be. When I started my weight loss journey, I informed my husband that I hated my kitchen and I hated being in it and we were going to redo the kitchen. It didn’t take much time or money but now it’s one of my favorite places to spend time.
To some degree you can even use this technique with tasks you dislike - I don’t imagine anyone really gets a charge out of scooping litter. But it helps to remember that even a task like that IS A CHOICE - some poor unfortunate souls choose not to scoop the litter and as a result they live in filth. Or even worse they choose not to have cats!8 -
rheddmobile wrote: »I find it helps me a lot to reframe my duties as choices. “I need to clean the kitchen, food prep breakfast for the next few days, and then go lift weights,” makes me want to throw myself off a high place. “I get to make delicious food, enjoy my lovely kitchen, and then go find out if I can set a PR on deadlifts,” is much better. However, it only works when the stuff you do really does have an upside - if you sort of hate your kitchen even when it’s clean, your food is boring, and you hate what you do to work out, it doesn’t work so well. It’s worth it investing just a little extra to make sure the things you do every day are as enjoyable as they can be. When I started my weight loss journey, I informed my husband that I hated my kitchen and I hated being in it and we were going to redo the kitchen. It didn’t take much time or money but now it’s one of my favorite places to spend time.
To some degree you can even use this technique with tasks you dislike - I don’t imagine anyone really gets a charge out of scooping litter. But it helps to remember that even a task like that IS A CHOICE - some poor unfortunate souls choose not to scoop the litter and as a result they live in filth. Or even worse they choose not to have cats!
I love this! Super insightful. Will be applying to my life. Thanks for the tips!1 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I have a big problem with this, to the point where I can definitely start neglecting important parts of responsibility (like paying bills and cleaning my cat's litterbox daily) because I'm just so tired of it all. Right now I'm practicing rewarding myself for "regular" responsibilities like making my bed. I use Habitica so I get a small amount of "coins" for each completed habit and then I can "spend" them on rewards when I've saved up enough.
I'm also working on trying to follow an 80% rule to combat perfectionism. I remind myself that getting 80% of the way there takes a minuscule amount of time compared to trying to get 100% of the way there. Things like sweeping the kitchen floor but not mopping. Sweeping makes it look way better and even though it isn't perfect, chances are no one is going to notice the 20% missing. So, I always sweep, and only mop if I'm in the mood. I will usually be in the mood often enough, but if I'm not, it won't become a insurmountable problem because sweeping keeps it nice enough to extend times between mopping. If I had to both sweep and mop every time, I'm more likely to do neither because of the dread.
I could have written this post (go figure!) Right down to scooping the litterbox and sweeping but not mopping.
I also feel like my tolerance for "busy-ness" is low. I'm an introvert. It takes significant stretches of quiet downtime for me to even begin to recharge, which is very inconvenient for someone with a full-time job, spouse, children, pets, etc. I try to appreciate to busy days, knowing someday they'll be gone, but it doesn't keep me from wishing for a week straight where I don't have to talk to anyone
I can *completely* identify with having a low threshhold for "busy-ness"! I have to recharge so frequently and so much to be effective in any part of my life. I'm not working full-time right now, just doing a ten-hour/week internship, but even so I have to divide it over most of the week, and I have all the other typical responsibilities as well. DH helps a lot with our child and the house and errands, but pretty much the only thing I *always* have time for is being with my child and helping them with whatever they need. I know that exercise and healthy eating helps a great deal with my ability to recharge, but it's so hard to do it when I'm already worn down by daily life.
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