feeding babies junk food
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She's raising her child, not yours. Yes, you are concerned, but it's not really your business. The way my cousin's feed their kids grosses me out, but I'm only in charge of the one that I gave birth to and I'm raising him by my standards and their raising theirs. My son (now 2) has always eaten whatever is on our plates, I never bought baby food I just made what ever we were having and stuck his in the blender. My son has always eaten healthy because I eat healthy. It appauls me to see the way that some parents feed their kids, and because my hubs got so used to me preparing food for my son and saw how easy it was it offends him even more, but it's no our place to impose our lives on other people unless the appropriate door presents itself.0
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I have a 7 1/2 month old who eats table food. She's had pizza crust. She's had EVERY kind of fruit and vegetable we eat. Maybe you've only seen what the baby eats while out. Not what she eats at home. The baby could be eating a more balanced diet than what you've seen.
I think baby food is DISGUSTING and if I wouldn't eat it. Then WHY would I make my baby eat it.
I have a friend who has a 9 month old that chokes on EVERYTHING. I think it's cuz she hasn't been introduced to different textures early enough. They say 6 months is the best time to introduce food. I told my daughters pediatrician that I wasn't going to feed her baby food. And he said that was fine. That their is NO NEED for baby food.
Before I had kids there was ALOT of things I said I'd never do. That I do. You just never know what kind of parent your gonna be til you are one. So I probably wouldn't say anything.0 -
I think you could say something but you have to do it right. Unless you spend every moment and eat every meal with them you can't say they never feed thier child fruit, veggies, or healthy meals. At 6 months its nothing wrong with a child having table food. I've allowed my 18 month old to try all different kinds of foods. Of course he likes the sweet stuff best but I enforce veggies too. My child actually like veggies more than meat. A lot of people here say you should mind your own business but there are ways to state your feelings without being offensive.0
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"It's my right to **** up my own child the way I choose."0
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I fully agree that there's nothing you can say. When I really feel strongly like someone's messing up big-time, I simply ask questions to a) get where the hell they're coming from, and b) to cause them to pause and think about their actions.
Things I'd innocently ask: (Remeber to ALWAYS be prepared to answer "Why do you ask?" though.)
Aren't you worried about the sugar in that?
Does she like baby food?
Does she eat vegetables and fruit?
Do you think that's safe for a baby to eat?
They're honest questions, and they're not preachy. Bottom line, though, is her baby is her baby. Does it suck that she'll probably be obese or at least nutritionally deficient? Yes. Can you *really* do anything about it? No.0 -
I have 5 kids and numerous nieces and nephews. So in my experience it isn't your place to say how other people should parent their children. Yes, it may drive you crazy to see it but you are not the parent. My kids are allowed to have a taste of everything, but we feed them a balanced diet too. I see my SILs give their kids a never ending supply of juice in a sippy cup. I personally only allow my kids one cup of juice now and then and then it's water for the rest of the day. Sometimes at family dinners it gets a little hairy. The thing I've noticed is that when I tell my kids no, you've already had one cup, sometimes my SILs will tell their kids, why don't you have water too. So it does rub off.
Now, the person that responded about the AMP. Heck yes I would have said something. But, I would have done it nicely like "Wow you let him/her have that! Do you know how dangerous that junk is for kids!" But, I look at amp as dangerous for anyone to drink too.
Bottom line, nobody likes to have someone else parent their child. I mean this in the best way possible, but you will probably not understand untill you have kids of your own. When you've "been there, done that" then you'll have a little more room to say something. I have had my incredibly well behaved children (strangers routinely comment on how good they are) disciplined by my SIL who at the time didn't have any kids. Trust me, it didn't end well for her. Funniest part, She now has the absolute most crazy children ever!
The thing you could do is when you see her offfering something bad you could say something like "there's some bananas over here if they'd like it instead?" That way you aren't passing judgement on her choices just politely offering a different thing.0 -
I am not a mother, yet, Hopefully in a few years I will be. I think its unfair if parents won't feed their children healthy food because they are too lazy to cook themselves so children end up eating fast/fatty foods. Its okay as a treat every now and then.
I am classed as obese at the moment but I'm working on that. No one in my family are overweight. They all eat healthily and exercise regularly. Even as a child we had a healthy diet. We might have burger/pizza and chips (fries) as a treat maybe twice a month. We had sweets once a week on a Sunday after mass. We would have had fruit salads/ frozen yoghurts/ icecream as treats. MacDonald's/ take out was unheard of. Only for birthdays and special occasions.
I have friends who have young children and most of them provide great nutrition for heir children but one of my friends is abysmal. she has two children, age 10 and 2. the 10 year old gets a packed lunch for school, he can't have sweets because a few schools over here have banned sweets and crisps at lunchtime, however, he has access to swees at home and she feeds him fatty foods. He doesn't exercise and is clearly overweight for his age. Its not my place to say but he's very self conscience about his weight and wont go swimming or play sports with his friends.
My friend cant see it and says he's big boned and will grow out of it. She says he wont eat vegetables and will only eat what he likes.
I just dont understand why parents do this. Even if we didn't like dinner as children we had to eat at least one vegetable and we got on with it.0 -
Personally, I would say something & I have in the past. Who cares if their feelings are hurt or not, the child's health is more important.
I use myself as an example. I say to them "Do you want your child to grow up to look like me? If you keep feeding them the way that you are, they will."
Yes, I have lost a few friends because of it. However, a few have been grateful & changed how they fed their child because not only did they not want their child to grow up to look like me, they also didn't want their child to grow up to look like them! (no, I don't have children because I can't have them. The friends who were grateful - their children are/have grown up healthier.)
-Yes, I realize that I will get slammed for saying this!0 -
How does a 6 month old eat these things? Shouldn't she be on baby food?
My baby occasionally has pizza and cake but he's 14 months and has some teeth. He had shole wheat English muffin pizza for dinner yesterday like the rest of us.0 -
Well! That is really awful, but like others have said I don't know if you can do anything about it. My husband's family tend to eat alot of crap and all I can do it make good choices in front of them, i.e. if they get a cheese steak I get a really good salad with chicken and nuts and cheese. If they sit down to watch TV for hours I say, "I'm going out for a walk, any takers?" Of course this won't influence everyone, but if their kids are there I hope that maybe if they like me enough (husband and I are like the 'cool' aunt and uncle) that they'll maybe one day follow.0
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Well, I never bought baby food for my children. They ate people food, just mashed up and without seasonings. So not buying baby food isn't a bad thing in and of itself.
But I would be bothered to see someone feeding their baby junk food all the time. However, it's really not your place to say anything. I understand why you want to, and believe me, I know it would be hard for me to hold my tongue in that situation, but they're not likely to change anything just because you said something, and it can only cause tension. If you have children, maybe you can comment on what you used to feed your kids, or point out some research that says babies need more whole foods rather than processed things, but other than that, you're just going to have to let it go.0 -
i as well, am not a parent, so often are my opinions mocked. HOWEVER, a child follows examples, and if the example is an apple vs. a candy bar and the child sees the parent eating a candy bar, 9 times out of 10 they will go with whatever the parent is eating. so for a parent to say that someone without a child doesnt have merit to offer constructive criticism is absurd.
Agreed. I did home daycare and the quickest way to get my kids to eat something different was to eat it myself first. If I was having something they weren't, they wanted to try it too. That's how things like roasted soy nuts and California rolls ended up on my menu.
However, I think most people aren't open to criticism about their parenting be it from another parent or a non-parent. My sister-in-law stopped bringing my nephew around for a while just because a comment my mom and I made to her about not making her son sit in his chair to eat. I imagine if we commented on the way she feeds him, which is atrocious, we'd never see the kid again. It is hard though to sit there and watch her give him powdered sugar donuts for breakfast and fruit gummies as a snack an hour later. The kid lives off Chef Boyardee, fast food and sugar. It sucks, but there's not a damn thing we can do about it.0 -
There's probably nothing you can do about it and it is probably best left alone. But if you feel compelled to (and I understand why you might be), one approach might be to buy a book such as "The CSIRO Wellbeing Plan for Kids" (http://www.csiro.au/science/WellbeingForKids.html) as a gift. Don't refer to the problem directly when you give it. If you have kids, say that you found it full of useful advice yourself, so you thought she might like it, too. If you don't have kids, either say something that doesn't sound pointed about how you thought it looked like a good book and thought she might like it, or lie and say "I won this in a raffle and obviously I can't use it, but I thought you might like it."
Oh! Books instead of direct comments are worse in my opinion. Once, after I made a few not-so-smart life decisions, my dad gave me a book called "10 Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives." Not cool. I threw it away, which is probably what they will do with a book like this one, which I'm sure is a great book. These in-laws I'm sure are not dumb, they just prefer to live life this way. Nothing is going to change that except them wanting to change for themselves.0 -
Just to add, if you are a non parent, I would never take your advice about my kids. Before I had kids, I thought I knew everything, Guess not!
I see posts about McDonalds, kids food choices etc on here all the time, but until you parent, you really have no idea. You wait till you have an overtired and hungry child in a store. You may think you can hand them fruit but once they cross the line in to over tired land, you will be lucky if the worst thing they eat is cookies.0 -
It is a difficult spot to be in - personally I would just buy them a nice healthy kids cookbook as a present. One that talks about nutrition requirements for kids. I recommend "Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family", or "Child of Mine, feeding with Love and Good sense". Perhaps they are just ignorant. It is ok for a 6 month old to start on table food if they can do so without choking, but it should be low sodium and healthy.0
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Just to add, if you are a non parent, I would never take your advice about my kids. Before I had kids, I thought I knew everything, Guess not!
I see posts about McDonalds, kids food choices etc on here all the time, but until you parent, you really have no idea. You wait till you have an overtired and hungry child in a store. You may think you can hand them fruit but once they cross the line in to over tired land, you will be lucky if the worst thing they eat is cookies.
THIS!
I was exactly the person you descibed when I didn't have kids. Now, I know you do your best. Sometimes that involves junk food. Call social services if you must! I weaned by son at 4 months too..I should be locked up :laugh: The world of parenting, it is b1tching, back stabbing and danm right ugly at times. Until you are there you will never understand. And you learn to nod and agree at everything...but generally do what you think is best.
I am very lucky my son loves fruit and vegetables and eats what is put in front of him. However, children can refuse food...what do you do when they won't eat the healthy meal packed with veggies you put in front of them...clearly you let them starve
I have seen friends do everything right, eat fruit in front of their children ect and they just refuse! My friends son just went through the 'I will only eat chocolate, sweets and chicken dippers' phase. Before he would eat anything! Slowly he is coming out of it, but judging this mother would be wrong! Because she is doing her best. Children have their own personalities and there is nothing you can do about it. Some of the comments here from peeople who don't have kids are worrying. Supermum, let me tell you she doesn't exsist. You will never raise you kids mistake free, away from junk and without being judged yourself. So think about it...would you want to be judged, critised at every parenting decsion you made?
Breast or bottle?
If bottle, which formula?
Co-sleep or not?
Is their room too cold? Or they need a vest on tonight? Are they too hot? What if the temp drops loads in the night?!
Cloth or nappies?
Gina Ford or Baby Whisperer or Attachment Parenting?
Cry it out or No cry sleep solution?
Routine or Baby led?
Slings or Buggy or Both?
Weaning?!
Baby led weaning or puree foods?
Dummy's do they damage children?!
Sleeping Bag or covers?
All easy decisions I'm sure! But you will be judged on every single one! Too the point where some mothers can have you in tears and tell you, 'your damaging your child'. P1ss off! If that's the case then we all damage our children some how. Its deciding which way its best to do it
Going slightly off track, but I think its best to think of the whole picture. Parenting can be hard enough with being judged by people who have children, let alone those who don't! Keep an open mind. Its ok to think 'I will/will not do this with my children', but until you are their and never know.0 -
I agree what 6 month old babies don't need fast food, pizza and cake all the time. I have 3 kids, we have never bought baby food. Our oldest ate homemade baby food, our younger two turned their noses up and ate what we were eating by 8 months old. Not mashed, just in little peices. They get treats, if we want Mcdonalds, everyone has McDonalds. 90% of the time, they are eating something I made from scratch. They get dessert every night, a cookie, brownie, cake etc. that I baked.
That said, its none of your business. You are not a parent, you do not get to tell someone else how to parent. Even when you are a parent, its still not your right to tell someone how to raise their baby. Asking a question like "I didn't realize babies that young could have pizza" would probably be ok, saying "You're doing it wrong" is not. Its really not your fight to fight though. Its your husbands family, not yours, and its up to him to say something if he feels something needs to be said.
My SIL used to give me "advice" when my first born was little, and it would piss me off. She didn't have kids and had no right teling me what to do. Now she does have kids, and would never ever try and give me advice again. She realized pretty quickly how irritating it is to have someone critique your parenting skills.
There are going to be mistakes when you are a parent. There always are. If the baby is happy and healthy, leave it be.0 -
Ain't your kid. You can mention it, but telling people they are doing wrong will usually make them reject your advice. The sad thing is fat kids become fat adults. And it's not the kids fault.my sister in law feeds her six month old daughter pizza and cake (i wish i was joking) HOW DO I EXPRESS THIS CONCERN WITHOUT OVERSTEPPING MY BOUNDARIES?
his entire family watches her eat brownies and pizza while smiling and laughing about how cute it is
meanwhile im just horrified! itd be different if it was just for really special occasions (i suppose) but its very often. i honestly dont think she even buys her baby food because whenever i see them eating a meal, she just eats what the adults eat but mashed up into bits. this includes mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, pizza bites, burritos, pudding packs, all kinds of fast food and just tons of things that even adults should only have in moderation. NEVER veggies or fruits!
should i just not say anything? i dont want them to dislike me or be rude because they are newly acquired in-laws but it seriously shocks me to see!
EDIT: ive politely talked to my husband about it before and while he completely agrees that a baby should never be fed food like that, he also is afraid to say anything for fear that he would offend them. so its not me vs him its pretty much us vs his family0 -
I understand not wanting to offend them. So, instead of saying something that they might take offense to, maybe you can casually suggest something to them. Like, "Hey, I saw this great website that has all these recipes for homemade baby food." Maybe they will show an interest.
I made all my daughter's baby food in the blender, froze it in ice cube trays, and popped one out when it was time to eat. It was so easy, and they were healthy foods. I didn't give her cake until her 1st birthday, and since then, I only give her sweets every once in awhile (an M&M is a good potty training motivator!). You don't have to completely eliminate goodies, but let kids know they are an occasional treat. Nothing wrong with that. Luckily my 2-year-old loves fruit, so that's usually what she asks for when she wants a treat (usually strawberries, grapes, or raisins).
Good luck, and I hope for the baby's sake they will start feeding her better. Poor little thing.0 -
Man, I feel like I'm a jerk, but even I think that's harsh.I completely agree with that as when I was younger I had a friend who's parents never aloud any junk food ever in their house and wheb she got old enough to get pocket money all she ever bought was junk. I remember her mum saying to her "how cone your so fat when we don't let you eat junk?"0
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