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My story at 23 years old

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Hi everyone, i'm not necessarily new to this app but it is my first time using it a lot more frequently. i'm 23 years old and i weigh 240lbs.. i can honestly say i try very hard to workout as much as i can but depression really gets the best of me.. I haven't always been this "big", i used to workout 6 days a week, 3 years ago. My lowest/healthiest weight i ever reached was 140. At the time i still thought i was unhealthy and "fat", and now looking back i honestly wish i had the mentality that i do today. I went through a'lot of personal issues throughout the years and i got really depressed. I got to the point where i lost all of my closest friends because i pushed them away, i stopped talking to the majority of people/family i know, i was constantly binge eating whenever i got the chance and i was basically a homebody. I stopped taking care of myself period, and the more i looked at myself in the mirror the more i was truly disgusted/unhappy with who i became. Now these phases come and go and it makes it that much harder to stay consistent with the gym and good eating habits. I know what i should and shouldn't do. What i should and shouldn't eat. But when your'e at your lowest point, food sometimes is the only comfort you get. Im on here today because i would really love to talk to people that are just like me or have had similar stories. I would love to be able to hold each other accountable for workouts and easy healthy recipes. And for those of you who just have advice, tips or just something nice to say, please don't be afraid to message me or comment on here! I really look forward to hearing from you all, thanks for taking the time to read (:

Replies

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,029 Member
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    I'm a terrible "feed friend" but happy to support you here in the forums.

    I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 16, and have had lots of therapy over the years. Are you currently in therapy?

    I've had periods where I avoided mirrors.

    I'm rarely motivated to exercise, and instead created habits and the discipline to maintain them.

    For example, exercising at lunch time is not something I think about; it's just something I do, like brushing my teeth before bed. If for some reason it gets to be about 3 PM and I haven't exercised yet, I start feeling anxious, and that prods me to go do something.
  • traxless2009
    traxless2009 Posts: 13 Member
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    You posted part of your story today, the 15th of September. That’s a great step. I’d urge you to consider a second post tomorrow with a second step to share. That’s 2 steps in a good direction. All we can ever do is use our time “now.” Right now is really all the time we have and all the time we need. Hope to hear about your second step tomorrow.
  • Madyyy0322
    Madyyy0322 Posts: 13 Member
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    Thank you all so much, i really appreciate all the kind words and good tips. I'm still getting familiar with this app so i don't know how to respond to everyone individually, but i'm grateful for all your support! I will keep everyone updated with my progress (:
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
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    there is no good food or bad food. some foods are more nutritious than others. ive lost 130 pounds and eat everything i always have, just less of it. I do work out most days.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,155 Member
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    kshama2001 wrote: »
    We had a very long thread about depression, and while looking for it, I found this article by the esteemed Lyle McDonald, on how low carb diets can make depression worse for some people (mostly women) and strategies for coping.

    I'm posting it here because I found it very interesting:

    https://bodyrecomposition.com/nutrition/carbohydrate-intake-and-depression-qa.html/

    Could you please link the depression thread? I don't think I've been in there. I really like that Lyle article, thanks for that.
  • htyler77
    htyler77 Posts: 4 Member
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    I can relate to this. For me, mental and physical health are closely tied and I can't have one without the other. If you can, find a counselor or some type of support system that is consistent for you. It's important to feel safe and comfortable with yourself as you are now before you can start thinking about healthy changes.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,029 Member
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    kshama2001 wrote: »
    We had a very long thread about depression, and while looking for it, I found this article by the esteemed Lyle McDonald, on how low carb diets can make depression worse for some people (mostly women) and strategies for coping.

    I'm posting it here because I found it very interesting:

    https://bodyrecomposition.com/nutrition/carbohydrate-intake-and-depression-qa.html/

    Could you please link the depression thread? I don't think I've been in there. I really like that Lyle article, thanks for that.

    I tried for a long time to find it last night, but failed. It was a really long thread, probably here in General, probably with "Depression" in the title.

    Hopefully someone else has it bookmarked or better search skills and can find and link it.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,029 Member
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    robertw486 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    We had a very long thread about depression, and while looking for it, I found this article by the esteemed Lyle McDonald, on how low carb diets can make depression worse for some people (mostly women) and strategies for coping.

    I'm posting it here because I found it very interesting:

    https://bodyrecomposition.com/nutrition/carbohydrate-intake-and-depression-qa.html/

    Could you please link the depression thread? I don't think I've been in there. I really like that Lyle article, thanks for that.

    I tried for a long time to find it last night, but failed. It was a really long thread, probably here in General, probably with "Depression" in the title.

    Hopefully someone else has it bookmarked or better search skills and can find and link it.

    Maybe this one?

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10058170/depression-and-weight-loss/p1

    That's it! Thanks!

    @cmriverside ^
  • Madyyy0322
    Madyyy0322 Posts: 13 Member
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    try2again wrote: »
    I am twice your age and relate to much of what you describe in your post, and to being in your position when I was 23 (though my weight had not yet maxed out at that point). I would encourage you not to prioritize your weight & physical health over your mental health. That doesn't mean you can't give attention to both, but your post talks pretty exclusively about diet, exercise, and accountability and not at all about addressing the depression, relationship issues, and potentially harmful thinking patterns that underlie the problem. I've been successful many times over the years taking off weight and becoming more fit with a balanced, sustainable approach and at times have maintained my good habits for years. But eventually, I always ended up back in the same place because I never addressed the mental health issues at the core of the problem. I always thought if I achieved a good level of physical health, my mental health just naturally be better, and of course it helps, but is not the cure. I hope you can learn this lesson at 23 instead of at 50 like I did (the hard way). (I know- I'm not your mother ;) )

    A recent thread from an awesome poster here that you might enjoy:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10759145/for-those-who-have-lost-and-gained-and-are-losing-again-what-ive-learned/p1

    I love that you said your'e not my mother haha, because i know the majority of the kids in my generation would have started off their response saying "your'e not my mom." But that's not the case here, i'm actually thankful that you told me everything from your own point of view. Its nice to get some adult advice, especially when your own parents don't speak to you. I completely agree with what your'e saying and i do believe that mental health is absolutely one of the most important things. i have seen a therapist in the past, but not recently. It is something that has been on my mind lately, i just need to take that step forward and go see her again!
  • Madyyy0322
    Madyyy0322 Posts: 13 Member
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    htyler77 wrote: »
    I can relate to this. For me, mental and physical health are closely tied and I can't have one without the other. If you can, find a counselor or some type of support system that is consistent for you. It's important to feel safe and comfortable with yourself as you are now before you can start thinking about healthy changes.

    I totally feel you on this, and yes i agree. I have been thinking about seeing a therapist again, im just kind of nervous ya know?
  • Madyyy0322
    Madyyy0322 Posts: 13 Member
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    robertw486 wrote: »
    @omadysfigueroa2937

    Keep up with some of the forums for all kinds of good advice regarding quick healthy things to eat. One I saw that made great sense was to simply meal prep portions that fit within your calorie goals for the day. If you exercise enough to earn "extra" you can easily find healthy snacks that make up the difference in calories.

    As for the self image issues, that is a tougher one to crack, and many people struggle with it. But CBT and various techniques help a lot of people. Often just looking in that mirror and reflecting on a positive vs negative thought can start things rolling.

    Having positive influences in your life that don't attach judgement to their input is very helpful, and often found in those that have been through struggles of their own.

    And most important, don't lose hope. It's not an overnight process, but making changes is possible and within your grasp.



    kshama2001 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    We had a very long thread about depression, and while looking for it, I found this article by the esteemed Lyle McDonald, on how low carb diets can make depression worse for some people (mostly women) and strategies for coping.

    I'm posting it here because I found it very interesting:

    https://bodyrecomposition.com/nutrition/carbohydrate-intake-and-depression-qa.html/

    Could you please link the depression thread? I don't think I've been in there. I really like that Lyle article, thanks for that.

    I tried for a long time to find it last night, but failed. It was a really long thread, probably here in General, probably with "Depression" in the title.

    Hopefully someone else has it bookmarked or better search skills and can find and link it.

    Maybe this one?

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10058170/depression-and-weight-loss/p1

    Thank you so much! I really appreciate what you said and i will definitely try looking in the mirror and saying one positive thing a day (:
  • kazminchu
    kazminchu Posts: 250 Member
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    I very rarely post in here, but I just wanted to say I could have written that first post myself, so you're definitely not alone! I'm on day 2 of trying to get back to my ideal weight of 150lbs - I ballooned up to 200lbs this last year and I just hate myself and what I look like right now. Which is a vicious circle because, like you, food is sometimes my only comfort and I binge eat whenever something stresses me out. However I've done this before, I can do it again, and you can totally do this. One day at a time, even if you can just look back and say you tried that's amazing! I'm trying to be less hard on myself and focus on just being "better" than my worst days, I wonder if that would work for you too? Keep us updated on how you're doing, you got this!
  • heathcash1252
    heathcash1252 Posts: 57 Member
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    I’ve been in the same position as far as metal health goes. The last two years of my life have been really hard on me, health anxiety, anxiety in general, relationship problems that caused depression, etc..I’ve felt betrayal from “friends” and it’s caused me to have a VERY small circle. I mainly stay to myself and focus on my Heath and fitness, school, work, and having good mental health. You have to realize that tough times don’t last, tough people do and keep pushing. You have to make a change or else you’ll be stuck in the same place you’re at now. Whenever something goes wrong for me in life I turn to the gym. It’s been good to me. It’s a refuge, a place where I can become a better me and where nothing can bother me. You see results and you feel better, you become more confident, you meet new people, and eventually that feeling of depression will start to fade. Use “the bad” for fuel to be a better you. A better you starts with your mentality, you have to want it. If anyone takes the time to read this and needs someone to talk to, or someone to listen, give them pep talk, whatever it may be, friend me and send me a message. I love helping people and seeing others do better and accomplish goals. And speaking of goals, don’t rush them. Especially in the gym, results come with consistency. Give yourself time. BE CONSISTENT!
  • Madyyy0322
    Madyyy0322 Posts: 13 Member
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    I’ve been in the same position as far as metal health goes. The last two years of my life have been really hard on me, health anxiety, anxiety in general, relationship problems that caused depression, etc..I’ve felt betrayal from “friends” and it’s caused me to have a VERY small circle. I mainly stay to myself and focus on my Heath and fitness, school, work, and having good mental health. You have to realize that tough times don’t last, tough people do and keep pushing. You have to make a change or else you’ll be stuck in the same place you’re at now. Whenever something goes wrong for me in life I turn to the gym. It’s been good to me. It’s a refuge, a place where I can become a better me and where nothing can bother me. You see results and you feel better, you become more confident, you meet new people, and eventually that feeling of depression will start to fade. Use “the bad” for fuel to be a better you. A better you starts with your mentality, you have to want it. If anyone takes the time to read this and needs someone to talk to, or someone to listen, give them pep talk, whatever it may be, friend me and send me a message. I love helping people and seeing others do better and accomplish goals. And speaking of goals, don’t rush them. Especially in the gym, results come with consistency. Give yourself time. BE CONSISTENT!


    Thank you so much, I never saw the notification of you commenting in September! But that means a lot and I feel like I really needed to hear this today! ❤️ I’m currently down 24lbs and I feel soooo good, we should stay in touch
  • Jenna__XoXo
    Jenna__XoXo Posts: 117 Member
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    Congratulations on your loss, that's great progress! ❤️
  • Madyyy0322
    Madyyy0322 Posts: 13 Member
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    Congratulations on your loss, that's great progress! ❤️

    Thank you so much! I feel great 🥰🔥