So many years later and I'm in the same space

QueenZeeIsm · September 2019

How long will it take me to be consistent with my weight? It seems like I always end up overweight, depressed, addicted for wine and bad habits. I have hit my goal weight once before and I felt great. Now, years later... I've gained it all back with a mountain of extra weight. This is the biggest I've been.

Today is once again day 1. I have decided to cut thr booze during the week. 1 bottle of wine a day just isn't helping me get closer to my goals. I am now 20kilos overweight, which seems impossible to lose, but I'm not going down without a fight.

My plan is to first cut the week day drinking and eat better. I dont want to fix everything at once, because it always fails for me. I am sure if I cut the wine, I'd look less bloated and horrible. I dont like looking at myself in the mirror at all, which is sad.

We went on a tropical vacation a few weeks ago and the pictures horrified me. After I saw one I didnt want to be in any others. I wanted to make memories but I spent the holiday feeling like a loser. I am from mom of 2 and I dont want to die this way. Something needs to give.

I always do the big bang approach, hoping for instant results. This time I want to change that. I need all the support I can get. Does my plan sound like it could work, if i stick to it?

callsitlikeiseeit · September 2019

bottle a of wine a day? id get that under control first, then work on making smaller, permanent, manageable changes.

BarbaraHelen2013 · September 2019

The last 5 words of your post are the most crucial - ‘if I stick to it’.

You don’t need us to tell you that drinking a bottle of wine a day isn’t ideal. What you may need us to tell you is that drinking a single small glass is fine if you make it fit into your day’s calorie allowance.

You don’t need to give up the food or drinks that give you pleasure, but you may need to learn how to moderate them. It’s great that you’ve realised your ‘Big Bang approach’ isn’t the way to go about it for you.

If I were you I’d start tracking your food, and alcohol consumption for a week or two, without making massive changes so you can get a feel for where (and maybe why) the worst of the excesses are happening. Then look back at the data to see which of those foods/drinks are worth their impact on your calorie intake.

Set up MFP with a realistic weight loss target. I’d start out aiming at a pound a week if I were you, although I don’t know your height, age etc but that seems reasonable and shouldn’t be too restrictive at your current point. Once you’ve seen where your eating patterns are out of control you’ll be able to better adjust things without feeling as if you’ve changed everything all at once.

Be honest and accurate with your food diary. It’s not judging you and neither is anyone here. We’re all here because we are now, or have at some point, been in a similar place.

nighthawk584 · September 2019

I'm not going to preach to you (much), but one bottle of wine a day is not normal consumption. I quit cold turkey last april after a lifetime of drinking. It has improved my health and overall life tremendously along with losing 70 plus lbs going to 100 in the process. Until you change IF I STICK TO THIS to I WILL STICK TO THIS, you will be "stuck". Just a little "tough love"

ghudson92 · September 2019

You need to make some compromises. As other users have said above - if you want wine then just have a glass instead of a bottle.
I used to eat two chocolate bars a day. I cut down to one. Then a fun sized one. And now I just have a full sized one maybe once a month.
As for sticking to it, that is down to you and your mindset. I think I was on my tenth attempt at mfp before it stuck. It's really useful to read the stickies as they have some great advice on approaching weight loss in a sustainable manner. I wish you all the best with your journey 😊

jennifer_417 · September 2019

Just think how much money you'll save by cutting down on your wine consumption! Start sticking that money in a jar for your next vacation!

SnifterPug · September 2019

I did endless Big Bang approaches and ended up in the same boat as you every time. The initial weight loss was very motivating but reaching goal on an unsustainable plan just made me put it all back when I ate "normally". So you need to establish a new normal and (sorry to say) you need to accept that you are in this for the long haul.

You need large amounts of self awareness to succeed at this game, I've found. I was a bottle a day girl and could happily down two on a weekend evening. Yikes. Cold turkey never worked for me on the wine front - though it does work for some people. Depends whether you are the type who can drink in moderation at this stage, or whether one glass inevitably leads to another. So I just cut down and cut down. I am at the stage now where I have four consecutive alcohol free days per week and I am most unlikely to drink more than half a bottle on each of the other three days. But that is by choice because I now don't want to fill up my calorie allowance with booze. I need the food to build the muscle, see? My priorities have changed. But that does not happen overnight.

Food-wise I am very strict about avoiding junk, desserts etc. That kind of cold turkey approach works for me with food. But only if I tell myself I am allowed a treat if I feel desperate. I keep mini choc ices in the freezer in case of emergency. I eat one every six months, on average. But if you are the type of person who must eat the treat if it is in the house then keep it out of the house.

Good luck. It's tough, but it is absolutely do-able. I've shed 32kg since 2014, with the odd blip along the way, but the trend is steadily down. I've another 6kg or so to go.

L1zardQueen · September 2019

One bottle of wine is +- 600 calories.

600x7= 4200 calories per week which will create an approximate one pound of weight gain.

That adds up after one year. You need to fix the drinking part of your diet. Hugs

cupcakesandproteinshakes · September 2019

I’d concentrate on limiting the booze first as that’s gonna improve yr overall health. There’s some good support here so keep reaching out. Baby steps are better than no steps

NovusDies · September 2019

Sticking to a plan is good. Never quitting again for any reason is better. Try to aim to have more positive days than negative days. If you slip up and drink wine on a weekday let it go and move on to the next day.

Read the tips in the first post of this thread:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10761777/less-alcohol-september-2019-one-day-at-a-time

If you are truly addicted to alcohol you should reconsider drinking even on the weekend. Tapering off just puts off the inevitable. I don't know personally but I have always heard from people who suffered from this addiction that a little was always way too much. Pull the rip cord and then gauge your progress to see if this is something you can do on your own or if you need help.

If you used "addicted" in error then I would still advise going "dry" for a couple of months if you have been drinking daily. I know from personal experience that drinking as a habit even if it is not an addiction can be still hard to break.

denjan333 · September 2019

The problem often boils down to habits. We spend years or even decades training ourselves that food serves a purpose other than nourishing our bodies. We eat when we're bored, when we're tired, depressed, anxious. When we're younger, using food to overcome uncomfortable life situations can work because they are often temporary. But in the meantime, we've "learned" that food helps us feel "better".

We must create new habits for dealing with these things that create stress in our lives, because let me tell you, those stressful things will keep coming at you. Fat or thin. Instead of eating when stressed, try ANYTHING different. A walk, a hot bath, call a friend, whatever. Just try something new. Then build on that. Keep on building new habits, so that when you've reached your goal, not only have you learned how to eat in a healthy way, you've also learned healthier ways of dealing with the things that *typically* cause us to overeat. This is how I'm approaching my 3rd time at losing over 100 lbs! Good luck.

LyndaBSS · September 2019

Make this the last time you start this journey.

I agree with the above posters in their advice to get a handle on your drinking, first and foremost.

If you need help with that, get it. Your health and well-being are important.

Please let us know how you're doing. There are people here who have been in your shoes. 💟

StaciMarie2020 · September 2019

For me, I needed to find something else to focus on after I lost the weight. *I'm now back needing to lose 15 or so that I've put back on over the last 1-2 years. So I guess you could say I lost focus of my new focus. But it worked for a few years lol.

What I mean: I lost ~50 from late December 2013 thru October 2014. And then I started scheduling 5k, 10k and half marathons. Generally 1 half per year (though not this year, see note above) and a few 5ks and 1-2 10ks. Having those events helped me focus on fitness and being active once weight loss was no longer my objective.

jo_nz · September 2019

I am in much the same boat... staying focused is my big issue. I think I just want to see the results NOW. I mean, i am eating well and exercising, shouldn't i look healthier already?? Lol. It seems a hugely long process to commit to.

Anyway, every day I try and just do well for today. I can do that.

I am down almost 8kg from my highest, with 12 to go.

With the wine, my DH and I switched our evening drinks for nice teas. We still have the odd alcoholic drink, but it had just become a habit that wasn't doing us any good.

lgfrie · September 2019

You've got a drinking habit. I'm not going to use the word "problem" because that's judgmental and what you don't need here is people passing judgment. Suffice to say that I had a period in my life when my wife and I were drinkers. Over time it added many, many thousands of calories just in drink calories, which was nothing compared to the huge, insane food binges that took place while we were drinking.

We had some failed diets and regains and such, and at some point we had to face the truth that the drinking was largely, and maybe entirely, responsible for our weight issues. Every time we had substantial weight losses, we gained it back in a haze of alcohol-encouraged debauchery. We finally had to admit to ourselves that it was "either/or" with the drinking and weight loss. And so five months ago my wife went 100 % cold turkey and has not had a drink since. I went mostly cold turkey. I've had drinks 3 times in those 5 months. I don't see a need to never have a drink again, but it really gets in the way of any kind of weight loss or healthy living effort.

Here's what we've found:

Weight loss is actually pretty easy when you're not drinking LOL
The first week seemed boring - after dinner, when we traditionally drank, it'd be like "What are we supposed to do now?" - but then you get used to it
Exercising hard and getting physical activity makes it soooo much easier to just up and quit, if you decide you want to go that route.
Drinking isn't all that much fun. It's much easier to see that in retrospect than at the time. What's really fun is feeling in control of your life, health, and weight.

Now if you don't want to quit, that's cool, but you'll definitely have to get that bottle of wine down to one small glass to lose weight. It's just too many calories. Of course, if you're just going to have one small glass, why bother?

All the points made above by other posters are valid, about measured quantities and such, but the truth is that you must decide for yourself how much of a drinker you are going to be going forward, and everything else will fall out from that decision one way or another.

riffraff2112 · September 2019

QueenZeeIsm wrote: »

My plan is to first cut the week day drinking and eat better. I dont want to fix everything at once, because it always fails for me. I am sure if I cut the wine, I'd look less bloated and horrible. I dont like looking at myself in the mirror at all, which is sad.

I always do the big bang approach, hoping for instant results. This time I want to change that. I need all the support I can get. Does my plan sound like it could work, if i stick to it?

Your plan could use some firming up. Giving up your bottle a day habit is a great start, and knowing that you cant make 100 changes all at once is also a good realization. How about making a list the few things that you can and will do starting today. 'eat better' is vague, maybe be more specific about a calorie goal (if that is what you are using to guide your eating).

1. Drinking less wine (1 glass a day for starters)
2. go for a walk 3 times a week (or something you enjoy)
3. Stay within my calorie goal 6 out of 7 days, and being under my weekly goal every week.

good luck

NovusDies · September 2019

riffraff2112 wrote: »

QueenZeeIsm wrote: »

My plan is to first cut the week day drinking and eat better. I dont want to fix everything at once, because it always fails for me. I am sure if I cut the wine, I'd look less bloated and horrible. I dont like looking at myself in the mirror at all, which is sad.

I always do the big bang approach, hoping for instant results. This time I want to change that. I need all the support I can get. Does my plan sound like it could work, if i stick to it?

Your plan could use some firming up. Giving up your bottle a day habit is a great start, and knowing that you cant make 100 changes all at once is also a good realization. How about making a list the few things that you can and will do starting today. 'eat better' is vague, maybe be more specific about a calorie goal (if that is what you are using to guide your eating).

1. Drinking less wine (1 glass a day for starters)
2. go for a walk 3 times a week (or something you enjoy)
3. Stay within my calorie goal 6 out of 7 days, and being under my weekly goal every week.

good luck

This advice might work for people who can successfully moderate alcohol. The OP used the word "addicted". In her case if she truly is addicted she really needs to start with quitting and then worry about losing weight. A bottle of wine a day is drinking well over any safe guideline and that would probably be the bigger health risk than carrying an extra 20kg of weight.

kshama2001 · September 2019

I used to be good for a bottle of wine a day myself. I can drink moderately now, but had to give it up completely for a number of years. You could try moderating, and if you fail, abstain instead.

I found just a few Smart Recovery and Rational Recovery meetings extremely helpful. These are cognitive behavioral therapy based, so you could also just get CBT from a regular therapist. CBT has also been found to be very effective for food issues.

I also went to lots and lots of AA and NA meetings, mostly with friends or family. I didn't find the 12 step model particularly helpful for me, but many swear by it.

So many years later and I'm in the same space

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