Officially giving up for now. Anyone else just give up?
rdkdm7
Posts: 34 Member
Have done it all. Walking, running, counting calories, dr's office... intermittent fasting... eating healthy coconut oil... dark chocolate... flaxseeds protein shakes...
Today I threw away most of my clothes. Nice dresses which ill never wear, old pants, and medium t-shirts. Medium hoodies.
I have more to go through but can't do it right now.
10 mths pp and I am still discusted with my new body. So I gave up.
I am wearing black oversized t-shirts, heavy hoodie sweaters, and my fat work jeans from eight or nine years ago.
Maybe someday, if I ever lose any kind of weight at all, and it stays off, i'll slowley buy new clothes.
If people have comments about the way I dress, I don't need to explain anything.
(Iv'e gotten comments most of my life.)
I give up and instead will just dress my child nice, make sure he looks nice.
Today I threw away most of my clothes. Nice dresses which ill never wear, old pants, and medium t-shirts. Medium hoodies.
I have more to go through but can't do it right now.
10 mths pp and I am still discusted with my new body. So I gave up.
I am wearing black oversized t-shirts, heavy hoodie sweaters, and my fat work jeans from eight or nine years ago.
Maybe someday, if I ever lose any kind of weight at all, and it stays off, i'll slowley buy new clothes.
If people have comments about the way I dress, I don't need to explain anything.
(Iv'e gotten comments most of my life.)
I give up and instead will just dress my child nice, make sure he looks nice.
16
Replies
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I've given up before and it didn't make things any better, so I quit giving up. If your child came to you and said they were giving up would you be ok with that or would you want to figure out how to make things better? You haven't tried it all because you just haven't found what works for you. There are no quick fixes or tricks to losing weight. Its about creating a reasonable calorie deficit, measuring correctly and logging everything you consume for accountability and having patience.13
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i havr given up many times, last year a friend of mine lost 160 lbs so I thought if she could do it I could also. I did low carb, ate 100 gr of carbs a day and did my calories and lost the weight. If I can do it anyone can.9
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Have done it all. Walking, running, counting calories, dr's office... intermittent fasting... eating healthy coconut oil... dark chocolate... flaxseeds protein shakes...
Today I threw away most of my clothes. Nice dresses which ill never wear, old pants, and medium t-shirts. Medium hoodies.
I have more to go through but can't do it right now.
10 mths pp and I am still discusted with my new body. So I gave up.
I am wearing black oversized t-shirts, heavy hoodie sweaters, and my fat work jeans from eight or nine years ago.
Maybe someday, if I ever lose any kind of weight at all, and it stays off, i'll slowley buy new clothes.
If people have comments about the way I dress, I don't need to explain anything.
(Iv'e gotten comments most of my life.)
I give up and instead will just dress my child nice, make sure he looks nice.
Please don’t give up. You’re worth the effort, no matter how many times you start over, and know that you are not alone. ❤️4 -
There's a cop banging at my front door. Guess I better give up too. All over a measly stop sign.
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When nothing else worked for me, I found I did pretty well with coaching, someone who holds me accountable and coaxes me during the dark days. Have you tried or considered trying coaching through WW? I've also done coaching with Omada through my insurance, but if your insurance isn't going to pay for it, I think WW's community is better. WW coaching can get expensive, but maybe just do it for a short time, maybe a month or two, to re-boot yourself and reassess at the end of a month or two whether you can do it on your own. You are worth it!4
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Maybe this- how about you keep trying but not so hard?
Please consider- the difference between maintaining where you are and losing 1 lb per month is a bit over 100 calories per day. Do you think you can find a couple of easy modifications to cut 100 calories?
You don’t need a diet or a program. Just a few modest changes. You can put more effort into it later if you want.8 -
I think frustration sets in for many of us from time to time. What's important is how we respond to it.
In 18 months where do you want to be?
If you give up totally, you will be no further ahead and perhaps a little more disgusted and frustrated from where you are today.
Take a bit of a break.. perhaps... give up though and you will be certain to not make any progress and perhaps move farther backwards.
If what you are doing isn't working, then it's try a different and perhaps simpler approach.
What have you done? What has been honest and what elements have been perhaps forced or may be not so honest?
Changing too much at once? Simplify. Step back and one small change at a time...
The choice is yours... you own either decision you make.2 -
Sounds like you jumped from fad to fad to fad.
All you need to do is stay in a calorie deficit. That's all.
Take small steps. First, eat foods you normally would and log them. Tweak until you're in a calorie deficit.10 -
STOP!
It can be done, Last year I started at 305 pounds, lost 79 pounds. Then had surgery, a few family crisis and like a fool, stopped, fell off the wagon. And gained 15 pounds back in 8 months. And then said enough is enouh. So started back up, and since September 7 have lost 6.6 pounds. Still need to lose 8.4 to get back to where I was when I quit. But it can be done.
So I read what you tried.
Did you have a food scale and be true to it? Meaning if a food was solid did you weigh every single food item before you ate it?
Every item you use a marinade, or olive oil, or butter to prepare something that has to be counted as well.
Are you logging all food you eat every single day?
How much fluid you drink, and yes fluid other than water still counts as fluid for the day.
Did you let MFP calculate based on age height, weight activity level, how many calories per day makes sense for you to eat? Based on how much per week you want to lose, which also to a degree you need to take in how much in total you need to lose.
Did you set up some mini goals? I find those helpful instead of looking at the big one.
When I started I am not lying I could not walk 500 feet without feeling like keeling over. Now I can walk 4 miles no problem and cycle 15 miles no problem.
There are simple challenges you can join, they help keep one focused, and kind of a group thing of encouragement, Please do not give up,7 -
The problem is you will eventually start again and next time you may have more to overcome than this time. This is a lesson I learned the very hard way.
I am going to say this to you in the nicest way possible... giving up is stupid. Making decision while in the state you are in is unwise. Take the trash bags of clothes and put them in the bottom of your closet. Take a week off and clear your head. When you come back ask for help on how to rework your approach and make a goal that requires more of an investment on your part than clothing like setting a good example for your kid.15 -
Op, having a little one is tiring, mentally and emotionally, finding the head space let alone time for yourself can be tough. I hope you have close friends or supportive family around you. Try not to be hard on yourself. Forget the different diet plans, I fear you are not in a good place for anything too specific right now. Do what you can, then take it one day at a time. I hope you will be able to remember the way you ate when you felt so good. Try to work on your portion size, and try not to skip meals or double up, be unkind to yourself in other ways. If you can get him off of an evening try taking a deep warm bath and pamper yourself. If your little one is anything like my ggs, I'm sure he will love to go for walks and be happy to take an interest in a local park or somewhere, it can help to turn your back on your four walls.
Another thought, I wonder if you have had yourself checked out medically recently. Pregnancy can really mess with your hormones and leave you feeling very low. If you have not, it may be a good idea to ensure there is nothing, even trivial going on to sabotage you.
All the very best, and take care of yourself.
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What keeps me coming back is the knowledge that if I give up I won't just stay a large. I'll become xl followed by xxl and then xxxl. We are overweight because we consistently eat excess calories. That doesn't stop without effort on our part. And it's that much harder to combat the health, mobility and social issues along that weight gain path. So I'm not doing well at the moment with my weight loss but I'm not giving up. Just log for now. And make tiny changes you can live with forever. I like the phit 'n phat podcast for motivation. The first change she made was to eat her nightly vat of Ice cream out of a bowl! How many tiny changes can we make over a few years?5
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Why not just go slower? There's no reason to aim for massive weight loss really fast, or overly-restrict yourself. The time is going to pass regardless. You can either be a little further on the road to fat loss, or you can stay the same or maybe even go the other way.
I've seen so many posts about all this exercise that people are doing, like it's the great panacea of all things weight loss. Let me tell, you, it is only making about a 10% difference. Exercise for health and fun, not for weight loss. For fat loss, the only thing is making sure you take in less calories than you expend. That's it. And no matter how much you have to lose, using a food scale to measure your intake will always be most accurate.
If you feel like you CAN keep trying, then I recommend being diligent on your food intake and relegating exercise to fun things only. If you can only concentrate on one thing, it has to be food.
If you really want to quit, no one is going to stop you. I can feel your frustration. However, maybe a break is warranted. Sounds like you've done this weight loss thing for a while. Take a 2-4 week maintenance break. Have FUN. Relax. Then think about how you can change your journey so that it's more of a long term, slow process that you can do without adding so much stress to your life. Whichever you decide, I wish you luck and good health.4 -
Giving up? Many times and it always winds up being a bad idea; and to quote a famous movie, "that's all I gotta say about that!"3
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I’m 66 years old and I’ve been using MyFitnessPal for 160 days. I started at 440 lbs and now weigh 368. When I look at the journey in front of me, I want to quit because it seems impossible. So I don’t look into the future, I take it one day at a time. I track everything that goes into my mouth but I rarely deprive myself. If I feel like a Mars bar then I’ll have one, but it goes into my daily calorie count. Every morning I step on the scale, sometimes I’m up, some times I’m down. Slowly and surely I am losing weight. Each day is a new beginning and I don’t feel like I’m on a diet, I’ve just taken control of what I eat. So, don’t give up, just focus on the small victories.
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I’m sorry you are struggling. Please believe me that we have all been there. Sometimes we make it hard on ourselves and there is no way we can get that going. If you only create a deficit each day for two weeks, look and see where you end up. Don’t starve yourself. Lighten up a meal that you care less about... ( I save more for dinner). If you want a snack after dinner plan for it. I drink one ice coffee (100 calories) all afternoon. The way I see it, would I be happier 5 lbs lighter? Sure. Just aim for five. No more. If you feel like a walk after dinner, do so. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it!2
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I’m 66 years old and I’ve been using MyFitnessPal for 160 days. I started at 440 lbs and now weigh 368. When I look at the journey in front of me, I want to quit because it seems impossible. So I don’t look into the future, I take it one day at a time. I track everything that goes into my mouth but I rarely deprive myself. If I feel like a Mars bar then I’ll have one, but it goes into my daily calorie count. Every morning I step on the scale, sometimes I’m up, some times I’m down. Slowly and surely I am losing weight. Each day is a new beginning and I don’t feel like I’m on a diet, I’ve just taken control of what I eat. So, don’t give up, just focus on the small victories.
Well done!!
This is my approach as well. I mostly focus on the day and I let weight loss show up when it decides to visit the scale again. I am not concerned about a goal weight or how long it will take to get to whatever that number turns out to be. My goal is to live a normal happy life while maintaining a deficit most days. I do not worry about being perfect and I don't quit (anymore) after every bad day or mistake. I eat enough of what I want not to feel deprived.1 -
You say you're 10m pp? Could it be that? You're body has been through a massive change and it took 9 months for your body to adjust to that, so give yourself time to recover and hormones to go back to normal! It give it at least a year after a baby. I know you will see people who just "spring back" to a pre baby body like celebrities and stuff, but that's not the case for ALOT of people.
Do you use a scale for your food?
I wouldn't quit, because well then you're just not doing anything and when you start again the weight will still be there and may be worse!
Also sod what anyone says! Like literally give zero fu€ks.
I get it though, the frustration of nothing happening. But you started this journey for a reason, is that reason not enough anymore?
I would take a break, but set a time limit like 1 or 2 weeks. Relax and then kick butt again!
I found when I was a new mum I put on weight because you're so busy with the baby you just want to eat something easy and fast. I lost weight quite well with my first admittedly. But my 3rd baby has left me with an extra 45lbs! And I've been carrying that since January! But I've really committed now and it's very slowly coming down!
This journey is not a diet, it's a lifestyle change so if you quit then you're quitting the lifestyle. You should continue even when it's going badly! Not just do it when things are going good!!
If you'd like daily support, check out the JFT daily commitment thread (it's always on the first page of motivation and support)
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I'm 15 month pp. This is the hardest struggle I've ever had to lose weight. I only need to lose about 10 more lbs, and it's just ... not....budging.
I'm struggling with giving up too. I still wear some maternity clothes to work, and go back and forth with "do I suck it up and learn to accept my new body?" or "do I just need a little more discipline and will be able to fit into all my favorite clothes again with just a little more effort?" Going through the motherhood process, everything changes with your body, and it's SO hard to determine how much can be changed back and how much is just new forever. I get it. Really. I feel for your post because I'm there.
Since I'm in a more normal state right now, and not struggling as hard as I sometimes do with this, I'll give you my optimistic advice that I try to tell myself when I start feeling down. 1.) Don't be a martyr. Yes, dress your son nicely, but don't forget, the number one thing he needs is a happy and loving mama. So do what you need to do to put yourself up as high as you can. It's setting the example for him that he needs to love and take care of himself too. 2.) Weight loss is not linear. Some days I can't do the 1200 calorie diet that I need to do to lose weight. So I just try to stay under my basic metabolic rate. I may not lose a lot fast, but I'm still working toward the end goal. And if I go over that .....well, one day at a time. I can't make up for it, but I can try to not repeat it. 3.) Take a break, but don't give up. Sometimes breaks are necessary. Think of it as a diet vacation -- good for a reset, and essential for your sanity, but you should get back to daily life at some point. 4.) Find something that fits that makes you feel good. Seriously, buy something new that fits your current body. It's impossible to get motivated when you feel fat and sloppy. I bought a few work tops from Amazon for about $50.00 that weren't maternity, but still covered the parts I hated. I can now go to work without feeling sloppy on the inside, and it's taken so much stress off me. I'm still working on the weight loss, but at least I feel like I'm presentable in public, which has taken an edge off the discouragement.
I'm so sorry it's hard for you right now. It's hard for me too. But don't give up just because you're discouraged. You can do this. It's going to take a little more time and effort, but you made a person. You can do anything.
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I take breaks, but end up trying again after weeks or even months. It's now about health more than losing weight to look better, so there is that.1
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iheartmyyorkie wrote: »There's a cop banging at my front door. Guess I better give up too. All over a measly stop sign.
In the u.s.a, the 5-0 better have a warrant! OP, maybe switch goals to getting stronger, change your diet, and see where the chips fall...0 -
Sounds like you've set a goal out of alignment with your values. Do some soul searching and strive for something you want to be, not based upon an ideal outside your values. Reset to a new more attainable goal.
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I gave up for 16 years and almost killed myself because of obesity and not caring. I hear what you are saying, *kitten* can be frustrating and we are all our own worst critics. When both my parents passed away last year, I was in the height of my depression and really wanted to die. Something clicked last April when I failed horribly on my annual physical and labs. I'm 54 and turned my life back around , not for anyone else but myself. I decided to live, I hope you do too.4
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Hugs mama
post partum is HARD. I had 4 babies in 5.5 years, plus a couple miscarriages. Your hormones are an absolute mess right now, and you might even have some postpartum depression going on (I had it BAD after #3, but in the thick of it I couldn’t see the forest through the trees... looking back? Scary).
My first time on MFP was 2011, my starting weight then is only 5 pounds more than my current goal weight... I stuck my head in the sand for years! Ignoring t won’t fix it.
I second the poster that recommended putting the clothes in a closet. Out of sight out of mind, but available in the future. Start small. It is so easy to eat crap snack food all day with a baby in the house. No fads, just accurate logging (I am a total believe after just one month counting calories - I call it my body budget!). If you are nursing the game changes a bit because you truly are eating for two, one of which is a baby that is growing like mad!
Ignore the celebrities and those that have a 6 pack 9 months PP - it’s the rarity, not the norm.
One tip is to dress comfortably, but nicely. The mood boost will help tremendously. After my hysterectomy last year, instead of sticking to sweats I embraced leggings and tunic tops or short flowy dresses... I went from feeling like a frumpy mess to feminine and pretty, ready to conquer the world.3 -
Please, give yourself a break. U just had a baby. Are you breastfeeding?
I started losing weight when the baby was just about weaned (2 feedings/day) and even with that, it was suggested to eat an appropriate amount of calories.
This was an odd case where it did help me to increase calories. A fitness coach recommended that to me and it worked! So I added breastfeeding as an exercise in MFP0
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