Sick & Tired of Being Sick & Tired

lbetancourt
lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
Just venting.. But, I am really getting fed up with worrying about my weight which leads to me be critical about my body. I got away from counting the calories for awhile cause I just became too obssesive about it. But, this morning, when I looked at my body & all the soft contours of my abs and waist... I felt disgusted. So, I am back to counting calories. I am sure for most of you this is an improvement of your health more than it is your self esteem. But, for me, sadly, it's all about appearance. It's vanity. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, I don't want to worry about what size I am anymore. I am tired of depriving myself of food some days and fretting cause I didn't excercise. I am tired of days that I binge then trying to figure out the best way to purge without making it uncomfortable but convincing myself that one day I will get better at it. I am tired of feeling my abs for areas of softness and tightness, pinching my sides wondering if it's just skin or fat. I am tired of wishing I could see my bones thru my skin but can't seem to lose enough weight to achieve that. I don't like that I have areas of my body that are not allowed to be touched or even looked at. I want to be free of the images of perfection that are literally eating me up alive. I am just tired.

Yes, I know. I should talk to someone.

Replies

  • joakool
    joakool Posts: 434 Member
    I could have written that myself word for word. Everything you said was exactly how I feel. Sadly, I can't break free and will continue to strive for a better me, no matter how unrealistic. *heavy sigh*
  • cocolo89
    cocolo89 Posts: 1,169 Member
    i know how you feel. i am the same way. i have become obsessive. i reached my goal weight, but am still critical of myself and decided to lose more weight. i have my goal set at 125, but thinking it's not low enough maybe 120 will make me happy??? i always was critical and i'm about had enough. i will take a break from counting food for 1 month and just try to get my mind straight. i hate being soo obsessed
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    I don't deprive myself of food. just junk - EAT your food.
  • krlong6
    krlong6 Posts: 30
    Hey, you're not alone! Seeing a therapist probably wouldn't be a bad idea though - I'm going to see one pretty soon. Are you being active also, join a class or something with women who are just as motivated to look good and feel good about themselves as you are -- There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're being healthy about it.
  • xAdrianax
    xAdrianax Posts: 269 Member
    Hi

    Can i just say first of all I too am here because of vanity and im not ashamed to say it! I know obviously the health benefits too but in head its about how i LOOK.

    YOU look amazing, you look beautiful. But i know me saying that wont make you feel any better but i think you just gotta learn to love yourself more. I can't believe the age on your profile, is that an actual lie! Because i wouldn't have guessed near that. Thats how good you look!

    I worry too when i don't do my workout or cant be bothered (like tonight) but just set yourself how many times a week you want to work out (realistically) and try and stick to it.

    I dont know what else to say but you do not need to worry about your appearance! xx
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
    I feel exactly the same way. I've been working out nonstop and eating very carefully, and sometimes I just look in the mirror and feel completely disgusted. The only way I can really take my mind off it is to do something for myself, like change my hair color. My hair color gets changed a lot lol...
  • doobabe
    doobabe Posts: 436 Member
    Listen- you are FAR from the only one that feels this way. In fact most women (myself included) do to some extent..........
    I know that sometimes you just need to "get it all out" and I honestly hope that you feel better now that you did.

    But, from someone with experience, if you feel this way about your body now- there is a good chance that you will never be satisfied with it. I would definately talk to someone..........

    Your beautiful and chances are you are your biggest critic and others dont see what you see when you look in the mirror! Hang in there and if you can change your focus to health over what you see in the mirror. I think will help you immensely.
  • avarielle1215
    avarielle1215 Posts: 59 Member
    OP, please take this as a helping hand rather than an attack:

    If you can't force your brain healthy for you, at least do it for your kids.

    You seem miserable and that's the self-critical role model you are providing for them. How many times will you say something negative or self-deprecating about yourself before one of your children thinks, "Maybe Mom feels that way about me too?"
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    Bump
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