I hit my goal, but could use some feedback

unendingstruggle
unendingstruggle Posts: 2 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello MFP world, I originally was 210lbs and 5'9, and found this app and have been after it now for several years, and stayed faithful. My original goal was 180, and then about 5 months ago I decided to try for 165 to see if I could reach 15% bodyfat. My other goal was to look good enough without a shirt on that I would warrant at least a second look. I'll find out my BF% next week, but would appreciate some feedback. Do I still need to get leaner to get a second glance if you saw me on a beach? More muscle? You won't hurt my feelings, but I don't feel comfortable asking this to people I know IRL. Thanks for your help!

https://flic.kr/p/2hzw79W
https://flic.kr/p/2hzv6nM
https://flic.kr/p/2hzsjfJ
https://flic.kr/p/2hzsjgk

Replies

  • gentlygently
    gentlygently Posts: 752 Member
    Another random stranger here - sure people would already look twice.

    (I doubt you’d look at me tho - I have a few decades on you...)

    Going forward, speaking personally I’ve never liked the over(?) muscled, gym look (makes men look vain in my humble opinion!). Other random strangers would feel differently.

    Why not focus on heart health (excercise that will keep you healthy and hopefully living a long, illness free life)? Running/swimming/team sports - whatever gets your heart rate up (and resting heart rate down) and that you enjoy. Beach volleyball perhaps?!

    Well done on the weight loss. Please feel good about it. My advice would be to find enjoyable fitness goals that are not about ‘vanity’ or ‘appearance’ but ones that suppprt you to be healthy - and most probably meet new people, and tone your body, build your confidence (incl. body confidence), and help create a way of living that supports you to keep the weight off.

    Good luck.
  • amy19355
    amy19355 Posts: 805 Member
    unendingstruggle wrote: »
    ...My other goal was to look good enough without a shirt on that I would warrant at least a second look.[/url]

    I think you are limiting yourself, unless you spend most of your time shirtless.

    Also, once you achieve your goal of "good enough for a second glance" , then what?
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    Attraction is such a highly individualized thing that there is no way you get people to agree looking a certain way warrants a second glance. If you are looking for that classic beach body appearance, then yes you could stand to put on a bit more muscle and lean out a bit more. The classic beach body is ~10% BF for a male from what I've read. But I also agree with other posters, that sometimes it is better to concentrate on athletic goals and the body shape will come naturally. Like I've heard you will never see someone that can do a front lever or planche without a six pack. The reason is it takes a crazy strong core and being lean because the lighter you are the easier.
  • gemiller87
    gemiller87 Posts: 135 Member
    I'm always intrigued by responses to these types of questions. I find it perfectly acceptable to have a goal of being more attractive as part of your weight loss goals. Obviously health comes first, but if you're in a healthy place and want to become more attractive I don't see an innate problem with that. I'm guilty of it being part of my final goals. The first step is to get healthy, then fine tune for a few reasons one of them being aesthetics.

    That said, if you dont have excessive amounts of "grabable flab" i'd agree with the above post about pick an athletic skillset your interested in and pursue it and you'll probably find yourself getting closer to the aesthetics you may be after with or without really losing any more weight.

    Good luck on your journey!
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,223 Member
    Another vote for needing to decide this for yourself than relying on us internet randos.

    Personally, I started lifting in 2015 when I finally realized that losing more weight wasn't going to get me where I wanted to be from a strength or physique standpoint. A few years later and I get a variety of differing comments and opinions. At 6'1" 175lb some bros are quick to comment I should try to gain 25-50 lbs in an effort to increase my strength even more and that I still fall into the Do-you-even-lift? category. Simultaneously, I've had a coworker caution me to "not get too bulky" and when helping a friend move was jokingly told by a mutual friend that they "hope they can be as big and strong when the grow up" (from another 30+ year old guy).
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    I'm straight, but if I wasn't, I'd give ya a go! 🤣
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    Bedazzled35 wrote: »
    Manscaping goes a long way

    Oh, that's all according to the culture you live in. From experience, some women from say Asia, eastern europe... think body hair is a sign of virility....
  • COGypsy
    COGypsy Posts: 1,353 Member
    Bedazzled35 wrote: »
    psychod787 wrote: »
    Bedazzled35 wrote: »
    Manscaping goes a long way

    Oh, that's all according to the culture you live in. From experience, some women from say Asia, eastern europe... think body hair is a sign of virility....

    He asked for opinions, he got my British one 😁

    This American seconds your British opinion! I’m guessing the OP is in decent enough shape, but hard to tell with all the hair.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    I recommend spending more time shirtless so you lose the "farmer's tan" ;)
  • RunStart34
    RunStart34 Posts: 164 Member
    mom23mangos wrote: »
    Attraction is such a highly individualized thing that there is no way you get people to agree looking a certain way warrants a second glance. If you are looking for that classic beach body appearance, then yes you could stand to put on a bit more muscle and lean out a bit more. The classic beach body is ~10% BF for a male from what I've read. But I also agree with other posters, that sometimes it is better to concentrate on athletic goals and the body shape will come naturally. Like I've heard you will never see someone that can do a front lever or planche without a six pack. The reason is it takes a crazy strong core and being lean because the lighter you are the easier.

    I totally agree. Different people like different appearance. I always take a second look when he is lean a just a bit of muscle while another friend likes men with muscle on muscle. However, sometimes you never know when you already gotten that second look.. I don't make it obvious when i am checking a guy out or i will have my shades on so you really won't know.. Don't sell your self short. You probably already got that second look and you didn't even notice.

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