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Still having the same problems and failing

So I deleted my old account and started this one to start fresh. I got lucky and actually lost weight during and after my pregnancy, about 40lbs or so. I was determined to keep it up afterwards but I am failing. Between loosing my job the day I was suppose to go back to work from leave and now us struggling to keep a roof over our head and food on the table I have fallen back into my old ways. I am letting my depression or possible post partum depression get the best of me. I am doing absolutely no exercise other than what we do on the weekends, errands, and cleaning the house. I am also back to drinking every night to deal with the stress and depression. Also it is causing me to not care and just sit on the couch all day or take naps when I can. Except once I look in the mirror then I see the weight I have already put back on and I hate myself again. I know some will say its as easy as just stop drinking and get up and workout but in my mind its not that easy at all. I am tired of feeling so tired all the time and not wanting to do a damn thing. Then when I actually do simple things I am exhausted. I am not myself and I hate it. I am not a 100% for my kids or my husband. I need helpful words or advice to help me dig myself out of this awful hole I am in.

Replies

  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,296 Member
    That sounds like a lot to be going through in a short period of time. For a lot of people any time there is added stress they tend to slip in the physical sense.

    Just try to set a schedule and stick to it, and realize that with every negative comes a positive as well. Set an amount of time to spend daily looking for new employment, but then realize that done correctly this still leaves you a good portion of a day. Spend that extra time enjoying your kids, maybe take them shopping for healthy stuff you can make at home. Not only can you focus on healthy and filling foods to get your weight loss back on track, but you can teach the older kids why it is helpful long term. If any of them are old enough, get them to assist where they can in meal prep and such.

    The same applies to moving some. You now have more time to walk, get out in nature.... whatever you like to do. Do some walking on your in person job searches, maybe walk vs drive to the store for smaller items, etc. You get out of your place, into the sun, burn a few calories, and if you pick the right places maybe clear your head some and get focused on what is important.

    I know much of this is easier to say than do once you are in that state of mind, but it's like anything else. Take the steps you can and try to adjust your habits for the better. Find your motivations and move forward. If you didn't really want to better yourself you wouldn't post such a thing.... spend that energy finding small steps forward until you are moving in the right direction.
  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,023 Member
    That’s a lot to be going through and I think most people would be struggling in one way or another in your situation. But it sounds like your mental health is what needs to take priority now. It sounds like money is tight but if you can afford it/if insurance will cover it therapy would be an important step to take. If financially that’s not an option look for support groups in your area. If you struggle with alcohol abuse find an AA meeting and start going regularly. Take care of your mental health first and then you can get back to focusing on your weight loss.
  • LittleLightShine
    LittleLightShine Posts: 124 Member
    I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. It sounds like a lot. Try your best to not beat yourself up too hard. I've also struggled with drinking to help with anxiety. When I first started my weight loss journey, I decided to just make one small change every week. Maybe make a list of 10 small changes you can make. You'll be surprised how big the change will be in 10 weeks if you can have the consistency. Trying to do too many things at once (stop drinking at all, exercising for an hour, eating perfectly) can be overwhelming. Maybe say one week you'll walk for 10 minutes, the next drink a glass of water between every glass of wine, the next eat one really healthy meal a day etc... Sending good vibes and prayers your way!
  • mw43230
    mw43230 Posts: 11 Member
    if you have healthcare see your doctor about the depression. If that's undermining you it will be hard to get ahead. Fix that then deal with your weight.
  • cvdub16
    cvdub16 Posts: 66 Member
    Thank you all so much for your words it does help. Yes it is a lot to take in at once. I mean it also doesn't help that my husband works 2 hours away from home so he is gone most the day and I only get a few hours with him and then a little during the weekend between the kids. We are a blended family so he has 3 from a previous relationship and I have one and we have the 7 month old together. So when the kids are here on the weekend since that is the only time we get his 3 I tend to let them get most his attention since I know they don't get to see him too much. So spending most the day at home alone with our 7 month old and on 3 days a week with my 9 year old from the previous marriage I don't get much interaction with people. So that contributes a lot to the depression. Since I am not working currently I am on Medi-Cal so I don't know exactly what is covered for therapy or anything. I don't feel I have a drinking problem cause I am not drinking myself to the point of passing out nightly just about 5 beers a night to help release the stress from the day. I want to get that down to just Friday and Saturday nights to just unwind. But I do want to get out and up and to start working out. I am so sick of being exhausted from just going grocery shopping.