Mourning my Faves
MountainMinimizer
Posts: 23 Member
Is that normal to mourn or be sad to cut something out. Not completely, but today at Fazolis, I opted for the backened chicken salad instead of the pasta version. I only ate a bite of breadstick. I know I can plan these things in, I am just resisting for the first time and taking control over my thoughts. They tell me I have to have the pasta, carbs, and sweets. I left satisfied, but still thinking about that pasta 😝
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I have been gluten free for nearly 8 years - my exclusively breastfed daughter was diagnosed with a laundry list of food allergies, some of them quite severe so I had to cut all the offending foods out until we got the swelling down in her throat so she could start eating solids (she was 1).
I went from grinding my own wheat, homemade bread and baked goodies nearly everyday, to... nothing.
I sat in the floor and cried.
Later I found the I had gluten ataxia, it was the source of my textbook MS symptoms. And that was the end of my favorite food group. I come from a long line of bakers and bread lovers.
I mourned. I grieved. I cried. I was angry. I even had some denial and tried eating a piece of organic bread thinking that would be OK. It wasn’t. I pouted even more.
So yes, it is possible to mourn the loss of food. I was kind of embarrassed by that realization, but it is what it is.25 -
And I am the one that asks my husband if I can sniff his crusty, chewy bread at the Italian place down the road.7
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moonangel12 wrote: »And I am the one that asks my husband if I can sniff his crusty, chewy bread at the Italian place down the road.
😆 I think smelling it would be harder. I kept finding myself holding my breath tonight ..hoping I wouldn’t smell the smell of garlic and oil3 -
LynnMarieHasler wrote: »Is that normal to mourn or be sad to cut something out. Not completely, but today at Fazolis, I opted for the backened chicken salad instead of the pasta version. I only ate a bite of breadstick. I know I can plan these things in, I am just resisting for the first time and taking control over my thoughts. They tell me I have to have the pasta, carbs, and sweets. I left satisfied, but still thinking about that pasta 😝
I don't know if this will help, but here goes.
I gave up smoking nine years ago. I really missed it.
I thought about it... it felt like my best friend had moved far, far away to another place. I would never see them again, but it was okay. Every time I felt like a cigarette, I remembered them fondly, knew they were okay where they were, and I carried on.
I had attempted to stop numerous times.. once for three years.
I still use this strategy.
As for food.. eat literally what you want within your allowance
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Any change in your life can come with grief. You can be super excited to be newly married and still have some grief over losing your single life. It can be part of a transition from one normal to a new normal.
With that said anything that can be moderated does not have to be left behind. I don't eat a lot of pasta but I still eat it. There is no point in changing and mourning things unnecessarily. That is one of the ways weight loss efforts fail.8 -
I cut out most sugar from my diet in January. Now we're in pumpkin spice everything season and headed for the holidays. I make substitutions, but it has definitely been hard to think about all of the lovely things I would have been satisfying my pumpkin tooth with if I wasn't restricted. *sad jack-o-lantern face*5
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I mourn bread slathered in butter! same with baked potatoes with the works piled on.
and yes, I know I can still eat these things fitting them into my deficit, but I am staying away from the triggering foods that helped me gain 100 lbs in the first place!5 -
I mourn cookies and milk the most. It's hard to practice portion control with those (for me anyway) and not worth the calories especially when a big mug of milk is so high calorie.5
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Funyuns..... may they rest in peace.....3
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We were major, MAJOR pizza, pasta, bread stick eaters and cooks, my wife being Italian and all. Then she got Celiac disease 7 years ago, which is like some horrible, unthinkable revenge visited on a person of Italian ancestry - our house had to become 100 % gluten free, like, new dishware, new stove, new grill, new silverware, that level of "gluten free". I definitely mourned it for a while, as of course did she. There are soooooo many thing that contain gluten, not just the usual suspects like bread. Soy sauce (and therefore almost all prepared or restaurant-served Chinese food, and 90+ % of BBQ sauces & marinades), salad dressings, things that shouldn't have gluten but do due to cross-contamination in the manufacturing facility such as corn chips, even many foods that are labeled "gluten free" but not "certified gluten free". There is practically no escape from gluten! When you cut out gluten, there isn't a lot left, and it feels extremely deprivational at first.
We've gotten used to it. We don't mourn it anymore. I occasionally have gluten, as long as it's in a plastic tub such that none of my food will come into contact with dishware, but it's almost more work than it's worth. My wife has long since made her peace with it. Like almost anything else, you eventually move on from the mourning phase & get to acceptance.
I can't think of anything we've ruled out for our diets - we eat what we want, but in smaller quantities, of course. Honestly I often feel great having a mini portion of something I know made me fat and now won't have that power over me - while I still get to enjoy it. A good example being 43 calorie Dove Promises chocolates. I have one every night. It was not at all unusual for me to gorge 1500-2000 calories worth of chocolate or ice cream before we got serious with the diets. I do take some pleasure in getting to still have my chocolate while also losing weight. I guess it's just a change in mindset. I definitely don't mind not gorging on all the fattening stuff when we go out to eat now, but I don't usually do salads. I try to order food that will be maximally filling while not being one of the highest calorie things on the menu.2 -
You can either mourn your favorite foods and feel deprived or...
you can fit them into your calories and be happy and satisfied while you lose weight.
I know which one I pick. ☺4 -
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That's true.0
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Tell me about it...last night I moderated a whole Domino's meat lovers in the span of one hour.psychod787 wrote: »not always that simple..... Some of us have trouble "moderating" certain foods....
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iheartmyyorkie wrote: »
Tell me about it...last night I moderated a whole Domino's meat lovers in the span of one hour.psychod787 wrote: »not always that simple..... Some of us have trouble "moderating" certain foods....
Whole pint of Halo Top myself......1 -
When I decided to do something about my problem drinking 20 years ago, the thought of never drinking again was inconceivable and felt like a huge loss. At first, not drinking took a lot of effort.
Since then, I've cycled through moderation, a period of self-medicating with alcohol again, and now I'm not drinking because I just don't feel like it. I have a cabinet full of booze that I inherited from a housemate and wine in the refrigerator, and I'm just not interested.
So for me anyway, it got better over time.4 -
We were major, MAJOR pizza, pasta, bread stick eaters and cooks, my wife being Italian and all. Then she got Celiac disease 7 years ago, which is like some horrible, unthinkable revenge visited on a person of Italian ancestry - our house had to become 100 % gluten free, like, new dishware, new stove, new grill, new silverware, that level of "gluten free". I definitely mourned it for a while, as of course did she. There are soooooo many thing that contain gluten, not just the usual suspects like bread. Soy sauce (and therefore almost all prepared or restaurant-served Chinese food, and 90+ % of BBQ sauces & marinades), salad dressings, things that shouldn't have gluten but do due to cross-contamination in the manufacturing facility such as corn chips, even many foods that are labeled "gluten free" but not "certified gluten free". There is practically no escape from gluten! When you cut out gluten, there isn't a lot left, and it feels extremely deprivational at first.
We've gotten used to it. We don't mourn it anymore. I occasionally have gluten, as long as it's in a plastic tub such that none of my food will come into contact with dishware, but it's almost more work than it's worth. My wife has long since made her peace with it. Like almost anything else, you eventually move on from the mourning phase & get to acceptance.
I can't think of anything we've ruled out for our diets - we eat what we want, but in smaller quantities, of course. Honestly I often feel great having a mini portion of something I know made me fat and now won't have that power over me - while I still get to enjoy it. A good example being 43 calorie Dove Promises chocolates. I have one every night. It was not at all unusual for me to gorge 1500-2000 calories worth of chocolate or ice cream before we got serious with the diets. I do take some pleasure in getting to still have my chocolate while also losing weight. I guess it's just a change in mindset. I definitely don't mind not gorging on all the fattening stuff when we go out to eat now, but I don't usually do salads. I try to order food that will be maximally filling while not being one of the highest calorie things on the menu.
Just wanted to make sure you knew there is gluten-free soy sauce available. Here's one brand that carries it. I've seen it at Whole Foods, health food stores, and bigger supermarkets: https://san-j.com/products/organic-tamari-gluten-free-soy-sauce
I don't know if your wife needs to avoid products made in facilities that process wheat. That page does not say one way or the other, but you could contact them. If that is a problem, fish sauce works in many recipes that call for soy sauce.
But it would probably be really hard to find a safe Chinese restaurant
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LynnMarieHasler wrote: »Is that normal to mourn or be sad to cut something out. Not completely, but today at Fazolis, I opted for the backened chicken salad instead of the pasta version. I only ate a bite of breadstick. I know I can plan these things in, I am just resisting for the first time and taking control over my thoughts. They tell me I have to have the pasta, carbs, and sweets. I left satisfied, but still thinking about that pasta 😝
Yes, it's possible to mourn when you cut something out. I've been drinking coffee since I was ten years old. I would sneak it out of the kitchen when my mom wasn't looking. I drank coffee for decades, really good coffee, drank it like water with no thought about the caffeine.
Then about two years ago I ended up in the emergency room twice in two weeks with blood pressure around 200/90, all from caffeine. So goodbye to the coffee. I could probably have one cup of real coffee a day, but I'm afraid I'll forget and overdo it. I did have half a bottle of a cold Starbucks frappaccino about two months ago and thought I'd died and gone to heaven, lol.0
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