I’m a man that almost broke down crying in Walmart trying to find a shirt :-(

This is so embarrassing but I’m in a bad place right now. I’ve been depressed and feeling like a useless waste of space for the past year and I’ve just done the same routine. Gone to work, come home. Had a few days off where I do nothing and make excuses to my wife about why we never go anywhere. Then pretend to be happy when my daughter comes over (cause I can’t bear to let her know how daddy really feels) and rinse and repeat.

I’ve gotten so fat that none of my clothes even fit. My wife has asked me when we go out lately “it’s cold why don’t you put on a jacket” and I’m too embarrassed to say because they don’t fit me.

After work this morning I went to Walmart to try to find something that would keep me warm and just trying on things and looking in the mirror I just couldn’t take it. I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve looked in the mirror for more than shaving but I couldn’t believe how terrible I looked. Just fat and ugly and like nothing I tried on looked good anyway. And I kept having to go a size up and I couldn’t believe I was that big. I looked at myself from the side and couldn’t believe how wide I am. I almost broke down in the store right then. I don’t even recognize this person I am. Seeing me like this just broke me.

I found this huge jacket that I couldn’t believe someone like me would ever wear and left and I just feel like why am I even here right now? I’ve struggled with my weight and depression for so long and even though I’ve had phases where I beat it it always comes back. I’m just a mess right now
«13

Replies

  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,088 Member

    I listen to you! Yea ma'am! You can have my milk money! Lol
  • SnifterPug
    SnifterPug Posts: 746 Member
    edited November 2019
    Deleted - double post

  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,547 Member
    It’s hard. Many of us have been, or are, in the same place. Being treated for depression may help, but looking better will help as well. You can do this! There’s plenty of inspiration on this site, and many generous and helpful people, willing to help you.
  • Ironwoman1111
    Ironwoman1111 Posts: 3,829 Member
    edited November 2019
    It makes me really sad that you’re feeling this way. ☹️ But you're here now, this app will help you. Also, you should consider getting some bloodwork done. Baby steps, but you got this! I promise you, once the weight starts coming off you’ll feel incredible! Hang in there, start measuring your meals and logging your food, exercise and keep pushing yourself a little each time. Try to have fun with the process, try new things, activities or food. Good luck to you, you can do it!💝☺️ You can add me if you’d like.