I’m a man that almost broke down crying in Walmart trying to find a shirt :-(
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@Losingthedamnweight I have been exactly where you are just two years ago. I've definitely broke down in tears in a dressing room because I brought in sizes I thought would have been big, only to not be able to pull them up my thighs or over my head. It is truly an awful feeling and I don't wish it on anyone.
You're going to be okay. I know it's so hard to see it right now, but just coming back on MFP proves you recognize a problem and are thinking about how to resolve it. That is an excellent first step.
Start making little changes. The weight didn't come on in a few weeks, and it won't fall off in a few weeks. It will take time, but each day you will get closer. Try not to think of a diet as something you "have" to do. Think of it as something that you just "do," like brushing your teeth or opening your front door. Don't deprive yourself of your favorite foods and flavors, just make adjustments to how much of those you are eating. I could never go a week without pizza, so I eat 2 slices instead of 3 or 4 like I used to. And I make sure I budget those calories into my daily goal.
You definitely got this! MFP is great for motivation and keeping track of your calories in vs calories out. Be honest with your tracking, so you're honest with yourself. If you fall off, don't hate yourself. Just start again the next day.5 -
I'm very glad you posted this and took that 1st step. Now, take the next step by bringing it up with your wife. Tell her you need her support and understanding with this. Ask if you can look for dinner ideas together, find ways to spend time physically together, such as walking, get the trigger foods out of the house for now. Tell her all the things you told us!! She's your wife!! After talking with her, make that call to see a doctor, ask for medication to get you through this very depressing time for you. Just possibly when you start taking better care of yourself, you'll be able to get off from it.
Focus on small goals, 5# at a time, don't think far ahead, just one day at a time.
We only get 1 go around at life, you can and should live the rest of yours happier! My weight has fluctuated terribly over my lifetime and I think I've tried 80% of the diets out there, always looking for the next successful fad that'll work. But using MFP is easy, truthful and shows you what modifications you can make to have success. It takes time, effort, patience and persistence. But you CAN and WILL do it. Just take that next step and look forward to all the new adventures that are in store for you.
Wishing you the very best of luck and hope you stick around for motivation and support!!5 -
Also, not saying this is you, but the first step for me many years ago when I reached my highest weight ever (including surpassing my pregnant weight) was to talk to my doctor and find a medication that worked wonders for my mental health. No shame in it whatsoever.10
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Lots of good advice in here.
Someone in here mentioned something about getting some bloodwork done. I'd recommend that (maybe see a GP too so your insurance will cover it, if it wouldn't already). I found out that my cholesterol was high (duh, my diet was garbage), my Vitamin D was reallllllly low and my B12 was low. I started supplementing and I feel better. I started eating better and that helped me get the drive to exercising. I only lost a few pounds so far but I feel better overall.
You can do it. But it takes small steps. Talk to your wife, talk to your doctor. Talk to a professional. The first step to physical health is mental health.6 -
As someone who is married to a man who was upset about his weight, and as someone who personally broke down in an Old Navy trying to find jeans, talk to your wife, man!
She can't help you if she doesn't know anything, and you are going to find this all a lot easier with buy-in and understanding from loved ones. Depression whispers lies, tells you to isolate yourself, says its better that way. Don't listen.
No shame. Many of us have been there dude. Being fat isn't some kind of moral failure, it's not a reflection on you as a person. Neither is struggling.15 -
losingthedamnweight - Most of us here at some point in time have not liked what they saw in the mirror. You are definitely not alone in those feelings. Let me say first, that you are not a number on a scale. You are not a size of clothing. Make a decision today that you are going to change your HEALTH - and it doesn't have to be painful like "I'm not going to eat more than 20 carbs a day" (just no!) Get your macros set - talk to a nutritionist - or one of us can help you find your basal metabolic rate and figure out your carb/fats/ and protein grams for you create a deficit (not a painful one!). Plug those into MFP (I think you have to pay the monthly fee or yearly of $50 (?) to get the macro option. NEXT - TALK TO YOUR WIFE! She is your best friend, yes? Communicate your sorrow. She can help. If you want to succeed even better, she can help you! Third - be patient! You didn't gain weight in a day, but it WILL come off. You CAN learn to eat foods you enjoy in only the amount you need (or what can fit into our daily macros). Start implementing more healthy options into the mix to keep you full. Try new recipes! You can put "healthy" in front of just about any recipe in google and it will give you a healthier version. Lastly - LOVE what your body can do. You might not love how your arms look, but you do appreciate that you have them, yes or yes? Everybody has a start. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Reach out if you need help with any of this.
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You know what almost made me cry? Reading the responses you got from the community. It's true that the internet is anonomus but people on here really care. You have gotten wonderful advice from experienced posters and I hope you will follow it. Read some of the success stories. Normal people have done amazing things. You can do it too. Use this episode to push you into change. Wishing you the very best.17
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I don't really have a lot to contribute here other than to say I am so sorry you feel this way. I hope you can talk to a professional to help you deal with your depression and I hope your wife is supportive of you and your needs. The important thing IMO is you have the power to change your body. It will take time and effort, but you've got what it takes.2
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I'm really, really glad you're here!
Please start with as many steps as you can to start in a positive direction, whether that's hanging out on the boards and simply not feeling alone, logging what you're eating (or just one meal one day), or buying a vegetable to eat today.3 -
Talk to your doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist --- though I may mean mental health counselor. Talk therapy and medication work well together. The exercise is very good also. There's walking, swimming, or hiking 20 minute a day. First take the depression out of equation, then can you step into the weight loss.
I used to loathe taking medication, but I needed to take something before I started to lose my mind -- kind of like mid-30s. It's been a positive journey.1 -
CardinalComb wrote: »Been there done that, except it was a big and tall store.
You can cure your depression just by cutting calories in half and restricting carbs so you’re not hungry all the time. Lost 50lbs in 4 months and I’ve never been healthier - mentally and physically. Don’t listen to the people saying it’s hard and go slow - pro tip: it’s not hard and losing the weight fast will help with your mental state.
Extremely irresponsible and potentially dangerous advice here.18 -
You have gotten a lot of good, but different advice. I say choose one. Of all the suggestions made, choose the one you can do right now and do it. Be proud of yourself because you’ve taken another step. Look for another suggestion you can accomplish. Do it. Another step in the right direction. Keep going.0
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cmriverside wrote: »My depression was being made worse by me. I wasn't getting any exercise, I was eating lots of sugar and very few vegetables unless you want to count tomato sauce or potatoes as vegetables, which...they really aren't the only plants out there that are edible...
Do not try marijuana. It works as a depressant (and it's making you eat more.)
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CardinalComb wrote: »Been there done that, except it was a big and tall store.
You can cure your depression just by cutting calories in half and restricting carbs so you’re not hungry all the time. Lost 50lbs in 4 months and I’ve never been healthier - mentally and physically. Don’t listen to the people saying it’s hard and go slow - pro tip: it’s not hard and losing the weight fast will help with your mental state.
wtf did i just read? he can cure his depression by cutting his calories in half? how do you figure that??11 -
I'm so sorry that you are feeling so terribly. You have gotten some wonderful advice here. Trust me, I've been where you are now and worse. It is difficult to overcome, but your family loves you, use them for support. Tell your wife about how you are feeling just as you related above, I'm sure she will be your biggest supporter. Then, please, for your mental health, begin by going to your family doctor to discuss treatment options for your depression and progress from there. No one wants medication and/or therapy, BUT it can truly help you in so many ways; it does not mean it will be forever, rather it is a most useful tool to regain your mental health by changing the negative thought processes/habits we become ingrained in over time. In the meantime, lean on those who care for you, they will understand you cannot be a pillar of strength 24/7 365. Start small as other's have suggested, burn more calories than you consume by using MFP to help you keep track, then progress to trying to increase activity in little increments. Good luck to you and I hope many happier days are in your future.2
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i noticed you have been on here since 2013, that is when I started also. I feel for you, weight is so depressing and I hate we have to deal with this problem. I lost weight and gained most of it back 2 years ago and then a lady at my gym lost 160 lbs and she inspired me. I logged my calories, watched my carbs 100gr or less and lost the weight. I also did some emotional work, journaling and had to accept how my family was so toxic and I would have to distance myself because I couldnt change them. Very painful but when I accepted the situation and quit argueing it helped alot. Dont know what your depression is about but this is what happened to me. I had 40 lbs to lose so if that lady lost 160 I thought I should be able to do the same.1
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We have all been there. You are not alone. It takes just one day at a time and being consistent. Don't give up. I am sending you a friend request (if that is okay).0
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This is my first time ever posting or replying to anything in the forum. I decided to check out the whole community thing out because I too am struggling today. I too suffer from depression and anxiety and I am at my heaviest weight. My depression and anxiety have actually been better than usual, probably due to currently being on an antidepressant that was prescribed for my migraines; but today I had an anxiety attack on the way to work. This caused those worthless feelings to creep back in and honestly I wanted to eat my emotions. I'm sitting at my work desk sipping my protein shake and decided to get on here instead. (Sorry I'm also a bit of a rambler)
I just want you to know you are not alone. Not with the weight struggles or the emotional struggles. We are all traveling a rough bumpy road. You will get past this. But like so many others have said, addressing the depression is the first step. It will help you get over that hump in the road. For me, besides the medication that has helped my anxiety and depression, having an accountability partner really helps. Talk to your wife. She can be such a huge support system for you. My 21 year old daughter is mine. She helps keep me on track food wise and helps redirect my thinking when I'm anxious. You can add me if you'd like. I wish you all the best on your health journey.
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CardinalComb wrote: »You can cure your depression just by cutting calories in half and restricting carbs so you’re not hungry all the time. Lost 50lbs in 4 months and I’ve never been healthier - mentally and physically. Don’t listen to the people saying it’s hard and go slow - pro tip: it’s not hard and losing the weight fast will help with your mental state.
Clinical depression is a brain chemistry disorder. It it not 'cured' by losing weight fast or eating less carbs. Millions of people wish it were that simple. Please educate yourself. Both on the subjects of mental *and* physical health. Quick weight loss isn't healthy, advisable or - in the vast majority of cases - sustainable, either.
To the OP: As many have suggested, please talk to your wife *and* make an appointment with your family doctor. You don't have to go this alone.
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i am sorry you are going though this. Depression is serious and it Is a illness- get the HELp you need- talk to your doctor, talk to your wife- and take it slow and steady- I take medicine for depression and it is the BEST thing i could do for MYSELF you deserve to feel good about life- many prayers for you5
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