Yo yo'er tired of the game! And advice welcome!

reginaswork · November 2019

I'm a yo yo weight loser and gainer. I'm female 60 yrs and a healthy weight for me is anywhere between 135-140. I currently weight 151. It's been a lifelong struggle, I can maintain a healthy weight anywhere from 6 months to 9 months and then the scale slowly creeps back in the other direction. Typical weight gain is 15-20lbs which is worrisome to me as it's a lot of wear and tear on the joints, not to mention my emotional state and clothes feeling horrible! I usually gain in the fall and winter (is it seasonal depression, who knows). At present I'm 6 lbs above where I was in summer, but even then I could have been a few pounds less so I could use to lose a good 10lbs, 15 would be heaven! I use food as a comfort/reliance (I don't think I'm addicted to food (no bulimia or out of control binging) but I do acknowledge that portion control is an issue, along with using food to cure my boredom, worry, loneliness, winter doledrums etc.

I LOVE MFP because when I use it properly, I can get my portions under control and monitor the calorie deficit and lose slowly. Once I use MFP for a period of time, I can back off using it and continue to control the portions, keep the weight off. But of course, then the portions get sloppy, the snacks get bigger and before you know it, I am back craving the very things I worked so hard to control portion wise or simply remove.
I used to use Weight Watchers (its been 2 years since Ive used WW), but at some point I switched to myfitnesspal for the following reasons
1. you weigh and measure your food which WW advises.
2. weight loss happens regardless of what you eat as long as you are in a calorie deficit on a consistent basis. Of course Weight Watchers touts this too, but MFP is free AND I grew tired of points counting.

Well, guess what. I'm so tired of the game. I'm refusing to go back to a 15lb weight gain. I just can't stand the process so I'd like to change this cycle.

Side note: I should also tell you that I LOVE to exercise. I try to get in at least an hour per day of some kind of exercise - tennis, spinning, weights, walking. After exercise, winter lends itself to being more sedentary. But maybe I can change that by forcing a walk even if it's cold?

So what does all this sound like to you? My personal feeling is I need to reduce my cravings AND simply deal with the emotional eating by not giving in to it and letting the feelings come and then pass on their own. As for cravings, the only way I know from experience is to remove certain foods ie:processed snacks till the cravings either greatly reduce or diminish altogether. And I need more portion control, so using measuring tools, eyeballing well, and actually using halt before I go back for seconds...

So if you can relate and see yourself in me, and you've bettered your situation. What advice would you lend?

RelCanonical · November 2019

What do you think is preventing you from continuing to log? It sounds like it works for you. Do you get bored of it, does it feel tedious? I treat logging like I treat brushing my teeth - just something I have to do day-to-day to prevent health issues. It makes it less of an option.

reginaswork · November 2019

I'm so glad you asked this because I often ask myself if this is simply how it has to be long term. I guess the most honest answer is I get tired of the logging, or I forget one day and then 1 day becomes a week, a month, etc.
Now truly, here's the thing. Having done it, it's really just a few seconds per meal to log what I'm either about to eat or have eaten. So a few minutes 3 or 4 times a day isn't hard. And while I've logged fairly consistently at certain times many weeks in a row, I do look forward to the time I can stop. So, unlike you, I don't treat logging like it's something I have to do day to day. So for starters there's that. And further, if I'm being honest, I'd like to be that person who can just eat normally and not have to log and measure and weigh. Which is why I feel more successful if I am coasting along not gaining, keeping portions in control, not overeating but also not having to log. Note - I don't think 1-3lbs is truly gaining because I know from experience that your weight can fluxuate 1-3lbs daily due to many factors out of my control. I don't weigh daily, but every Saturday.

Maybe that's just what it's going to take though. Doing it daily. Or at least most days....

88olds · November 2019

I lost the last 32 of 100 lbs on WW. WW is is just calorie counting dressed up so they can copyright it.

But this- unlike most folks I didn’t quit going to the meetings when I made goal weight. I kept going for almost 10 years. Only quit when we retired to FL. But I came to view the meetings as the school of what not to do. Looked to me like few folks tracked so much as an entire week. Abandoning the process at the first misstep seemed widespread. I don’t for the life of me understand why.

Also, the first thing I did notice about WW was the revolving door.

So the potential for regaining is real. How I deal with it is this- I’ve lowered my GW from 184 lbs to 170. If I tick over 171 lbs, I restart my food diary. And keep it going down to 168. Just how it is. A couple of things I don’t do are 1) let my red line get fuzzy 2) kick myself. I’m not going back to my high of 285 lbs. Not going back to my WW start of 216 lbs. Not going over 171 without taking action.

This is just how it is for me. If I end up tracking off and on for the rest of my life I’m fine with it. One of my WW leaders had lost 150+ lbs. Then one day she introduced the concept of whether weighing and measuring her food was “normal.” I went to visit in August. She has gained it all back. Do what needs to be done. If you draw a red line stand up for it. Instead of trying to eliminate cravings and emotions maybe add some resolve. Calorie counting supported by a food diary works.

RelCanonical · November 2019

reginaswork wrote: »

I'm so glad you asked this because I often ask myself if this is simply how it has to be long term. I guess the most honest answer is I get tired of the logging, or I forget one day and then 1 day becomes a week, a month, etc.
Now truly, here's the thing. Having done it, it's really just a few seconds per meal to log what I'm either about to eat or have eaten. So a few minutes 3 or 4 times a day isn't hard. And while I've logged fairly consistently at certain times many weeks in a row, I do look forward to the time I can stop. So, unlike you, I don't treat logging like it's something I have to do day to day. So for starters there's that. And further, if I'm being honest, I'd like to be that person who can just eat normally and not have to log and measure and weigh. Which is why I feel more successful if I am coasting along not gaining, keeping portions in control, not overeating but also not having to log. Note - I don't think 1-3lbs is truly gaining because I know from experience that your weight can fluxuate 1-3lbs daily due to many factors out of my control. I don't weigh daily, but every Saturday.

Maybe that's just what it's going to take though. Doing it daily. Or at least most days....

I think it's okay to not want to log for the rest of your life, but I think you need to give logging more time to practice what a normal day of eating looks like so you can stick to it without slipping after you discontinue logging. It takes a long time for things to become second nature. It sounds like you weigh regularly, and you can maintain weight through checking in with the scale, but it just sounds like you're not there yet with your habits to be able to do that.

reginaswork · November 2019

@88olds I really really love what you wrote and I'm extremely grateful for your time to write your advice.
I LOVE the idea of the red line, because for the past few years, I've thought (haven't completely succeeded obviously) that this would be the best way to tackle this issue of mine. To have a threshold I do not go over. Visually, I see it as a line drawn in the sand. And once I weigh in on a Saturday, if I hit that number, okay the MFP comes back into play until I've got myself under control again, for HOWEVER long that takes. The thing is, I don't know what that number should be, but I'm very very motivated to find out what that is. I think for now, I'm going to have to pick one. So let's go with 150.

Still I would like to get to a weight I feel very comfortable maintaining, that keeps my BMI at a healthy number, and that allows me to fit into my clothes well.
I have not been 138 in a long time, but that's where I was headed this spring and summer, got close at 146 but then fall hit, lots in my life ramped up, 3 vacations, and before you know it, ALL the old habits came back. Interestingly, my (red line) personal threshold has been 150ish. I got there 2 weeks ago. But, it's fuzzy, so of course, this past Saturday it was 151.

Okay, I'm in with your advice!! Thanks so much!

Question: man your post is full of good observations from WW. What other tips or advice do you have to help with the day to day living with food?

reginaswork · November 2019

@RelCanonical thank you for giving me confirmation that logging everyday for the rest of my life may not be the be all end all. Yet, your original question got me committed to logging every day (or most of the 7 anyway) until it feels like I'm back in control, losing the weight I want to, and habits are more established. Again, thank you for your comments.
Question: What other tips do you have?

88olds · November 2019

You say this:

“when I use it properly, I can get my portions under control and monitor the calorie deficit and lose slowly. Once I use MFP for a period of time, I can back off using it and continue to control the portions, keep the weight off. But of course, then the portions get sloppy, the snacks get bigger and before you know it, I am back craving the very things I worked so hard to control portion wise or simply remove.”

This sort of describes how I live. But it looks like I work within a much tighter range than you do. Not so sure that I work so hard to control portions or fight cravings. Wonder if you could share an example. In theory I haven’t removed anything but in practice some things just don’t work. I can’t really recall my last donut. But I don’t crave them. I don’t eat much pizza, it just doesn’t fit in my plan very often.

Well, now that I think of portions- even when I’m not keeping a food diary, my food scale is out on the kitchen counter and gets used every day. In a minute I’m going to use it to measure my morning oatmeal and then the egg protein that I add. Probably eating lunch out. But at dinner time I’ll use my scale to weigh the chicken breast that I add to my salad. I don’t weight vegetables. But none of this is a burden. It’s a habit.

And one thing I don’t do is kick myself for what I do to maintain. In addition to my WW ML concern about normal, I’ve heard folks at WW and on this board voicing concern about whether calorie counting is an unhealthy obsession. Maybe it is. Was my food related behavior obsessive when I weighted 285 lbs? Was I unhealthy with a CPAP, HBP and limited mobility? I think I’m a lot better off with how I’m doing things now. I make no apologies.

LivingtheLeanDream · November 2019

You know what to do and how to lose and have done so successfully in the past - why do you let as much as 15lbs slip on? don't you weigh yourself regularly? when I lost the 20lbs I needed to lose, I decided (as do many) on a +/-5lb goal range, once I veer above that higher end for more than 3 or 4 weeks its time to rein in the calories again until back in my happy weight range.

All the best for getting to goal and for this time committing to no longer let those extra pounds slip on.

TheMrWobbly · November 2019

I am yet to find the joy of getting to goal as I normally give up long before that. Hopefully this time around maybe. I am further than I have ever been down to three key factors as I see it;

1. I am doing it just for me, not asking anyone to be my weight loss buddy so if I fail there is nobody else to blame
2. Not doing anything radical, my diet is fully sustainable forever. No juicing, no shakes, nothing special.
3. My exercise is part of my commute. I don't have to force myself to a gym or an event. I have to get to work!

The only task I have to keep up is weighing my food and I may need to do this forever. Already I allow some things to slip by if someone else cooked it I can 'guess' the weight though not often as I am still surprised by how much my view of a portion actually is.

It isn't a diet, it is a lifestyle change.

Good luck and you already know you can do this.

Yo yo'er tired of the game! And advice welcome!

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