"You do NOT have that much to lose!"

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rolliepollie087
rolliepollie087 Posts: 251 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone else find when you discuss weight loss to friends, family, co-workers...and you tell them how much you'd like to lose, they respond with something to the effect of "There is no way, you don't have that much extra on you!" or "you'll be way too skinny if you lost that!"

It is almost de-motivational, all these people that think I look fine the way I am.

Thoughts?
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Replies

  • CandyR1018
    CandyR1018 Posts: 101 Member
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    I don't mention diet, exercise etc, just that I'm trying to "get healthy". And that's only if someone notices, not something I bring up. My husband of course knows what I"m up to, but IMHO it's not necessary to make public info!
  • rolliepollie087
    rolliepollie087 Posts: 251 Member
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    I don't mention diet, exercise etc, just that I'm trying to "get healthy". And that's only if someone notices, not something I bring up. My husband of course knows what I"m up to, but IMHO it's not necessary to make public info!

    That is a good point. The people who have said this to me are all pretty close to me, I didn't mind sharing :)
  • Licacorona
    Licacorona Posts: 118 Member
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    I don't make it public because I know someone will have something to say that I will not like and I honestly prefer to avoid it. I've heard people saying that though. Either they mean well or they don't. I can't really tell.
  • wysmom2000
    wysmom2000 Posts: 101 Member
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    I used to get that from people all the time when I weighed 180 but those same people now tell me how great I look at 155. So it makes me wonder, were they lying before or are they lying now?
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Does anyone else find when you discuss weight loss to friends, family, co-workers...and you tell them how much you'd like to lose, they respond with something to the effect of "There is no way, you don't have that much extra on you!" or "you'll be way too skinny if you lost that!"

    It is almost de-motivational, all these people that think I look fine the way I am.

    Thoughts?

    When I was starting, I get positive responses from them but now that I lost a lot of weight, they tell me to go easy on exercise & eat "normally" otherwise I will be anorexic but their idea of normal eating is actually too much. They still thought that I'm dieting wherein I'm just eating the right serving sizes.
  • jls1311
    jls1311 Posts: 15
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    So people are going to say what they want to. Honestly do what ever makes you feel better. I personally just keep it between me and my husband. I don't announce to the family I'm losing weight each day or something like that. If they say like wow you look like you lost some pounds. I tell them thanks it must be the new shirt Im wearing. Lol. Wont be able to say it forever but it's what ever you want. My husband tells me he loves me the way I am and don't need to lose to much weight. But I want to be healthy and look good. Do it for yourself.
  • kimtpa1417
    kimtpa1417 Posts: 461 Member
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    i get it all the time.... I dont take it personal. I know what I need to do....I usually just tell them if I look to skinny when I get down to my goal then I will just have to bulk the muscles up.. :)
  • rolliepollie087
    rolliepollie087 Posts: 251 Member
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    I don't make it public because I know someone will have something to say that I will not like and I honestly prefer to avoid it. I've heard people saying that though. Either they mean well or they don't. I can't really tell.


    I assume they mean well, I guess it could be construed as rude if they said "you would look much better if you lost the weight!"
    Oh boy, that would end badly.
  • Sarahmt29
    Sarahmt29 Posts: 5
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    I have the same problem. People get used to seeing you a certain way and they don't want it to change if there isn't an obvious issue. But you know how you feel and look. You know where you will be comfortable. What CandyR1018 said is good - don't mention trying to lose weight, just that you are getting healthy. I know that's hard because you want to share with your friends. I have a friend who is on MFP with me. Nobody would think she should lose weight either, but she wants to to feel her best. So we rely on each other for our motivation...and we talk about our weight loss and goals very quietly :) Good luck! Also remember: misery loves company! So don't let anyone sabotage you!!
  • Ireshgurl
    Ireshgurl Posts: 559
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    All the time. But then, only my hubby sees me naked so he's the only one that knows what i look like under my clothes and i know how to wear my clothes so i don't look as big as i am. I'm sorry, but almost 150 on a small 5'4" frame is not good, atleast not on my frame!! So i just stopped telling them.
  • rolliepollie087
    rolliepollie087 Posts: 251 Member
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    That is a great response!
    i get it all the time.... I dont take it personal. I know what I need to do....I usually just tell them if I look to skinny when I get down to my goal then I will just have to bulk the muscles up.. :)
  • baypathgradLyns
    baypathgradLyns Posts: 639 Member
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    Oh yes, I have heard that before. I have had people at work come to me concerned because I was "losing weight too fast" (1-2 lbs/wk is not that fast when you started at practically 265 and your goal is 100 lbs!)

    I still get comments...someone told me today, "YOU NEED TO STOP!" after calling me "slim." I just laughed it off, as this person has made many comments. I am heavier than I look, so my response has been, "Do you know how much I weigh?!?! I still have 40 lbs to go!"

    My grandma sometimes tells me I don't need to lose anymore, but then says how good I am doing, to keep it up. I donno.
  • Michelle_M2002
    Michelle_M2002 Posts: 301 Member
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    I think some people honestly believe that you DON'T have that much to loose. I think people get used to the way we look and so we look normal to them, and they can't visualize us at our goal weights.

    I think some people realize that THEY need to loose some weight to get healthy, and feel self conscious by seeing us reach for our goals.

    Then some people don't even KNOW what healthy looks like anymore.

    Bottom line is. .YOU know what your goal weight is. YOU know what is best for YOU. And it's YOUR life. I just wouldn't talk about it to these people anymore. Instead, when they ask about your goals, simply say, "I just want to look, feel, and BE healthy." I think everyone can relate to that.

    God bless!
  • millionsofpeaches
    millionsofpeaches Posts: 372
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    Thought... Their perception of weight is different from what someone actually weights. Does that make sense??? 20 lbs may seem like a lot to someone... In reality it is only about two pant sizes.
  • rolliepollie087
    rolliepollie087 Posts: 251 Member
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    I suppose they are just being nice either way.
    I used to get that from people all the time when I weighed 180 but those same people now tell me how great I look at 155. So it makes me wonder, were they lying before or are they lying now?
  • jayliospecky
    jayliospecky Posts: 25,022 Member
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    I don't talk to many people about my weight issues, but sometimes people offer unsolicited opinions. I've been asked if I've lost weight when I know for a fact I've gained 7 pounds since the person last saw me. And I have certain people around me who worry I'll "lose too much weight" if they notice I have lost a few pounds. Some of these people have their own issues; if they've struggled in their lives with the effects of illness due to being underweight, I find their point of view skewed, as well. They sometimes worry about someone with diabetes getting "too thin" but don't seem concerned if the diabetic person has clearly gained a lot of weight. I think we all have different issues with weight and body size. If someone thinks you don't need to lose much weight, try to take it as a compliment and don't pursue the conversation and try to convince them. Ultimately the way you view your own body is something you have to be at peace about. And actually, it should probably not be as affected by the number on the scale as we all let it be. Just my thoughts. :)
  • significance
    significance Posts: 436 Member
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    There are a few possibilities:
    1) Maybe they're right and you don't need to lose that much: what is your BMI?
    2) Maybe you wear your fat well (dress well, good posture, etc) and you look slimmer than you are.
    3) Because most of the population is now overweight, maybe they have reset their idea of "normal weight" and don't know what it looks like.
    4) Maybe they are overweight themselves and when they say you don't have to lose much weight, they can believe that they don't have to, either.
    5) Maybe they are trying to make you feel good about how you look.
    6) Maybe they are sick of hearing you talk about your diet.
  • Michelle_M2002
    Michelle_M2002 Posts: 301 Member
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    Thought... Their perception of weight is different from what someone actually weights. Does that make sense??? 20 lbs may seem like a lot to someone... In reality it is only about two pant sizes.

    This is true. I have a friend who is very petite, and people are SHOCKED when they find out she weighs 140 pounds at 5'2" (or 5'3"?). Because to most people, who don't really know what muscle looks like, she looks like she should weigh in around 115 or 120. But she works out really hard and it's ALLLL muscle.

    My trainer is 140 pounds at 5'2", again....all muscle.

    So, as the above poster said.. maybe it SOUNDS like a lot, and they just don't realize that it's not that much of a difference, in a way.

    And to the above poster.I am 5'6" and have lost 21 pounds, and only went down one pants size. But another woman posted this week, and at 5'2" 20 pounds meant 4 sizes for her. So again... it's all different for each person, depending on your build.

    God bless!
  • jayliospecky
    jayliospecky Posts: 25,022 Member
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    I used to get that from people all the time when I weighed 180 but those same people now tell me how great I look at 155. So it makes me wonder, were they lying before or are they lying now?

    There's also a chance that they thought you looked great at 180 AND at 155. Other people often see us so differently than we see ourselves. But I know how you feel. I tend to think they're just "being nice" when someone says something like that to me, no matter what I weigh at the time.
  • rolliepollie087
    rolliepollie087 Posts: 251 Member
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    It makes me wonder, I kind of get the feeling that there is a little bit of distorted perception.
    Thought... Their perception of weight is different from what someone actually weights. Does that make sense??? 20 lbs may seem like a lot to someone... In reality it is only about two pant sizes.

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