Is Honesty REALLY the best policy?

quichebradford
quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
Do you feel that it's ever ok to tell a lie?
What if the truth will hurt the person?
What if it's just a "little white lie"?
Under what circumstance would a lie be justifiable?
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Replies

  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    I am always honest and say what's in my heart. I do it with kindness but I tell the truth. It's only ok to lie to save someones life.
  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
    I am always honest to myself even if it means being dishonest to other people.
    -wtk
  • crazynay96
    crazynay96 Posts: 99
    it depends on the circumstances....
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    I'd like to say no, never.... but, I live in the real world
    it will hurt worse if they are lied to and then found out that they were lied to
    really depends on what for (being honest here)
    circumstances really depend.... calling in to work - not going to hurt anyone if you need a personal day and call in sick, cheating on your spouse may be going too far, so it varies, depending on the situation.
  • starwhisperer
    starwhisperer Posts: 367
    I was just yelling at one of my guy friends about this yesterday. There is honesty... and then there is just stupidly saying everything out loud without a sensor. Some girl ask if he would be sad if she just stopped talking to her... and he said, "honestly? No not really." Idiot lol. So to answer your question yes there are times to say, "no your butt doesn't look fat in those jeans."
  • VeganGal84
    VeganGal84 Posts: 938 Member
    It's only okay to lie to work! :laugh: LOL, apparently I have terrible work ethics.
  • Jennjenn1974
    Jennjenn1974 Posts: 350 Member
    I don't really think there are any cirumstances in which lying is justifiable. I am sure there are, I just can't think of any at the moment LOL You may think at the time you are protecting someone from the truth because you don't want to hurt thier feelings. Which is understandable. Or, you know how they feel about whatever it is you are doing and you are protecting yourself. "White lies" are basically a partial truth. A way to cover up what you were really doing.

    Lies usually have a way of being found out eventually. Just be honest. Yeah, there will probably be some backlash, however, you have to say to yourself, is whatever you are about to lie about or cover up really worth it?
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    no such thing as 'little white lie'. all lies are black. you can temper the truth to spare someone's feelings but lying is NEVER a good thing. Same for stealing, cheating and other low life activities. Wrong is wrong and never right
  • VeganGal84
    VeganGal84 Posts: 938 Member
    Here's what I try to live by, in all seriousness:

    If you never lie, you never have to remember what you said.
  • Brannock8
    Brannock8 Posts: 170 Member
    "Men could not live with one another if there were not mutual confidence that they were being truthful to one another." The virtue of truth gives another his just due. Truthfulness keeps to the just mean between what ought to be expressed and what ought to be kept secret: it entails honesty and discretion. In justice, "as a matter of honor, one man owes it to another to manifest the truth."
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    Here's what I try to live by, in all seriousness:

    If you never lie, you never have to remember what you said.

    SAME here, except to work.... I have called in *achoo* (ahem) sick and played instead.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I think most of the time, honestly really is the best policy. If you start lying about everything (especially the big stuff), you're setting yourself up for the possibility of cover-ups and backpedeling and all of that is just too much drama for me. Plus my memory sucks so I wouldn't be able to remember who I told what to if I lied about stuff. I tend to be almost brutally honest with my friends, family and hubby and I expect them to be the same way to me. If I ask you if my butt looks good in something, I want you to tell me the truth. God forbid I go out in public in something that looks horrible on me!!

    Little while lies are ok to a point, as long as no one gets hurt and you don't make a habit of them.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I lie to people if they get their hair cut and I don't like it.
  • Kristhin
    Kristhin Posts: 442 Member
    Well, there is what someone wants to hear, and then there's the truth. Sometimes these are just not the same thing. Since its what they want to hear, I just tell it them regardless of if its true or not. I don't care, either. If said person in the hypothetical situation were open minded and kind, no one would feel the need to just tell them whatever they want to hear because everything would just be comfortable.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    i lie to my kids about stuff and though its hypocritical I dont care. Im not telling them the truth about Santa or the Tooth Fairy until they figure it out on their own. My daughter did that last year and she has been warned if she blows the whistle on either to her little brother she will have dog poop duty for the entire neighborhood.

    Other than that, if you ask me I will tell you. I have co-workers that actually come to me cause they know i will give them the truth. I want people to do the same to me.

    Dont lie to me so that you wont hurt my feelings. If we cant be honest with one another whats the point?
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
    Yes an example why

    I've worked here for 6 months.

    A woman sneezes, I say bless you. As usual she doesn't respond.

    I get an interoffice IM from another co-worker "tina doesn't believe in saying bless you for religous reasons, thats why she never responds"

    6 MONTHS, I FEEL LIKE A DAMNED FOOL>
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    I think most of the time, honestly really is the best policy. If you start lying about everything (especially the big stuff), you're setting yourself up for the possibility of cover-ups and backpedeling and all of that is just too much drama for me. Plus my memory sucks so I wouldn't be able to remember who I told what to if I lied about stuff. I tend to be almost brutally honest with my friends, family and hubby and I expect them to be the same way to me. If I ask you if my butt looks good in something, I want you to tell me the truth. God forbid I go out in public in something that looks horrible on me!!

    Little while lies are ok to a point, as long as no one gets hurt and you don't make a habit of them.


    I am the SAME way. Some people won't even ask me things anymore, because I am brutally honest and they know it. I too, would prefer to be told the truth regardless of how bad it will hurt. Take for instance, my thighs. I know they were out of proportion to my body and I am training for a competition and my husband was nice enough to be honest and say in order to win, I needed to focus on slimming them down. I appreciate that. Because if I go on stage with thunder thighs, I would have been mad that everyone was just being "nice" and lying to my face about it. So, for me, personally, honesty is always the best and only policy - both hearing and giving it. But, I do not judge others, because I do understand there are instances it cannot be helped...
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    Yes an example why

    I've worked here for 6 months.

    A woman sneezes, I say bless you. As usual she doesn't respond.

    I get an interoffice IM from another co-worker "tina doesn't believe in saying bless you for religous reasons, thats why she never responds"

    6 MONTHS, I FEEL LIKE A DAMNED FOOL>

    dont feel like a fool. You be you. Dont let that change you having manners.
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    I am BRUTALLY honest. Sometimes it hurts but it is the best policy. It rubs some people as me being sarcastic..which I really AM..lol
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,100 Member
    I'm tactful and believe that telling the truth and being honest helps and not hurts. If people can't take the truth, then they have to either get thicker skin or learn how to take it and use it as constructive criticism. I deal with it daily. If a female who I've been training with asks me "do I look like I've lost weight?" and I don't think she has, I'll address the positives first, then tell her honestly that I don't see it yet, but I'm more than sure that she'll get it done if we work consistently. I don't like to just pacify people because in the end it ends up hurting them more than helping and they eventually figure out that you were just being kind to their feelings.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    An example of an acceptable lie is not answering a phone call or having someone say you are out. We are under no obligation to always be available to everyone and saying "He is out" is a polite way of dealing with it.

    Now for the tough question.
    How do you answer DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    As the saying goes "the truth hurts" but at the same time "the truth will always prevail" & it hurts even more if that person found out the truth. For me even if it means hurting someone's feelings, its better to be honest than lie to him. The damage caused by lying is 2x more than being honest.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    ..depends on what, if any, evidence they have.
  • fitplease
    fitplease Posts: 647 Member
    I believe that everyone should be honest and tell the truth. However, there are some circumstances where you may have already told someone the truth, but they were not open to hear it. Or, suppose telling the truth puts someone in danger. You can't always tell all details.

    Lines you can use if the truth is not the best option:

    + I want to keep my opinions to myself, if that's okay with you.
    + I am not going to share my opinions at this time. I don't think they will benefit the conversation.
    + You will have to ask him/her. I don't think that I can tell you anything that he/she wouldn't tell you.
    + I'm sorry, but I am not able to focus on that point at this time. I am not feeling quite myself. You understand, right?
    + We see things differently. That's neither good nor bad. Just that we are two different people with different opinions and views of this world. Nothing the matter with being your own person, is there?

    You can always walk away or change the subject, too.
  • fitplease
    fitplease Posts: 647 Member
    Yes an example why

    I've worked here for 6 months.

    A woman sneezes, I say bless you. As usual she doesn't respond.

    I get an interoffice IM from another co-worker "tina doesn't believe in saying bless you for religous reasons, thats why she never responds"

    6 MONTHS, I FEEL LIKE A DAMNED FOOL>

    Tina should have told you. However, most people say "bless you" to be kind. She should cut you some slack and say thank you. It's not an act of worship on her part.
  • Brannock8
    Brannock8 Posts: 170 Member
    An example of an acceptable lie is not answering a phone call or having someone say you are out. We are under no obligation to always be available to everyone and saying "He is out" is a polite way of dealing with it.

    Now for the tough question.
    How do you answer DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?

    Usually it's not the pants doing it...easy and true answer is no. Tougher question is "Do these pants make me look skinny"
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    Honesty with a good dose of tact and diplomacy.

    or sometimes just bold-faced honesty... i'm kind of honest to a fault.
  • tammykoon
    tammykoon Posts: 298 Member
    I would say that I don't lie, but one look at the weight on my driver's license and well...Liar, Liar, pants on fire!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Funny how age can give you wisdom. When I was younger (20's and 30's), I believed in "honesty all the time" to the point of being brutally honest at times. I look back and wish I could have said things differently to spare some feelings. So, now that I'm a little older, I still believe honesty is the best policiy, and any lie is a sin. However, there are times when the truth needs to be "filtered". I'm not sure that I would believe anyone who says they never lie.
  • foremant86
    foremant86 Posts: 1,115 Member
    I use to tell people what they want to hear but lately I've grown tired of sugar coating crap for people and I just tell them the truth now, I've yet to really hurt anyone's feelings and I'm not one of those idiots who doesn't think before they speak but I do try to tell people the truth even if it's not what they want to hear.

    I'd like the same to be done for me but I still find people just telling me what it is they think I want to hear and it's quite aggravating.

    Everyone lies, it just depends on what it is that you're lying about. Telling your SO you were out with the girls last night when you were really with another man is wrong. Telling your boss your sick and not coming in today when you really just want to play hooky..well that's ok sometimes ;) lol
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