Women and Body Image...What is your input?

Krys_T
Krys_T Posts: 1,406 Member
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
So I have been struggling the last few days with the whole body image thing. I have lost about 60lbs so far on my journey and I went back home to see a lot of friends and family in California. Of course, I received a lot of compliments on how I looked and I was pleased that my hard work was noticeable. But when mentioning wanting to lose another 40lbs, the general consensus was that I would look "too skinny" So I gave it some thought, started looking in the mirror and thinking to myself that maybe for my height (5'10) and my natural body shape/frame that would be a little thinner. However, when I played volleyball I was 165. So I have started questioning myself a little bit. I know I want to get down at least 30 more lbs, just for health purposes and my own selfish reason of wanting to wear a bathing suit next summer lol.

But I want to know does anyone else struggle with what their "goal weight" should be in relation to what other people in your life say?
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Replies

  • babyblake11
    babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
    people like to give their own opinion. they like to judge. they also get jealous. your doing something to make you feel good about yourself. i say just go for as long as you think you feel good about yourself and healthy.
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
    I didn't let anyone change my mind, but I didn't really share it either.

    However... In my opinion... your goal is 100% legit. It's not at all a low weight for that height.
  • amberdaniels
    amberdaniels Posts: 96
    Hi Krys,

    Ok, honey this is how you need to look at it. What are you comfortable with? It is not the weight, it is what is healthy for your body type and size. Some people say that I look great now, and I am at 180. I am not happy with the way I look or feel at this weight. I know I have lost a lot of weight but I want to be totally fit. It is not just weight for me, I want to be healthy! What do you want honey? If they say you are too skinny, you need to tell them that is their problem and that you are happy with yourself, the same if you choose to stay the way you are. It is your choice and what you are happy with!

    Be blessed
  • ctlinj7
    ctlinj7 Posts: 151 Member
    Congrats on the weightloss. I was a volleyball player too. Don't get too concerned with the scale number, look at your measurements and how your clothes are fitting too. I bought a bikini and hang it up outside the closet for a daily reminder! It's all about how you feel & want to look! Kudos to you! :)
  • mfkfoster
    mfkfoster Posts: 331 Member
    I have the opposite problem. I want my goal weight to be 160 and my doctor and family say it should be around 140. I'm 5'6 and I highschool when I was swimming everyday I weighed about 135 and looked too skinny. I look back at these pictures and I can see my collar bone and hip bones. I think I look gross but I remember a nutritionalist saying I needed to lose another 5 pounds! I don't want to look that way again.
    Even the BMI calculator says the 160 is still overweight for me by about 10 pounds! I think I'm ok with that. I've had two kids and I don't want to be a model. I just want to be healthy and for me I think 160 is healthy.
    I might change my mind later but I'll see if I ever make my goal weight.
  • mrscates
    mrscates Posts: 559 Member
    I have been in the 150's most my life (around family and friends). Now that I am high 120's and low 130's, I hear dang girl you're skinny--when in fact I am not skinny. When I think of skinny, I think of someone with no shape. I am not that person, BUT because I made a change in my life others have a hard time accepting it and I am here to tell you...it will only get worse until you hold your weight at the lower range for a while and allow others to adapt to the new you. Funny thing is others have a harder time accepting your change than you. GO FIGURE! Keep pushing and reach whatever goal you want.
  • Shutterpillar
    Shutterpillar Posts: 208
    I think a lot of the time it is hard for people to imagine a second 10, 20, 30 lb loss and sometimes their image of what it may look like is clouded. It is hard to imagine where the weight loss will make the most affect on your body. For instance, all of my 11 lbs have been lost in my boobs and waist. I still have a big a$s and thunder thighs. :wink: I am only 3 or 4 lbs away from my goal, and I believe it will be the perfect weight for me.

    I think your goal is absolutely reasonable, and that you need to do right for YOU and not everyone else.
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    I go back and forth on goal weight. Some days I want to drop down to 115lbs. but that would mean I'd have to literally starve myself. I'm 5'4 and have a VERY large muscle mass, and sit between a medium and large frame. So I'd be the most fit between 130-140. So, you like said take in consideration your body shape and pay no mind to the BMI scale. With me getting surgery in February, I know what comes off my abdomen, will go right back in my bra, so my goal weight is still up in the air. I know you said the other day you're intending on doing surgery to fix your problem area, so once you get the surgery maybe re-evaluate? I say stay in deficit in the meantime, and keep burning off what you can.
  • medoria
    medoria Posts: 673 Member
    Those people are afraid. Afraid of the attention you will get when you loose weight, and scared cuz you loosing weight makes them reflect about there own bodys. Its all it is. Only you know whats best for you, unless you have an eating disorder.
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    What ever you feel comfortable with is what you should do. You are tall and have already lost 60lbs (congrats by the way!!!) so when others see you they are blown away by that accomplishment. If you want to weigh 165 then go for it!
  • divadoll41
    divadoll41 Posts: 188
    You cant tell everybody your dreams/goals so people cant handle it. Just keep losing the weight and looking in the mirror and be pride of who u are; your changes...The sky is the limit! Doing a great job.
  • Khadines
    Khadines Posts: 64 Member
    Girl. I was just talking about this yesterday!! I give up! I no longer say anything!!!! Whatever u feel is right! I hear the same thing you will look to SKINNY!!! just because they got so use to seeing me at a certain size doesn't mean a thing!
  • mea9
    mea9 Posts: 561 Member
    You cant tell everybody your dreams/goals so people cant handle it. Just keep losing the weight and looking in the mirror and be pride of who u are; your changes...The sky is the limit! Doing a great job.
    ^^this
    I have run into that myself. You don't have to make that decision now. It's just a number in your head. Go as long as it feels good and right for you. When you get to a place where it's bad it will be really hard to take anymore off and you won't feel well.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    "Too skinny" would be those catwalk models and some celebrities. When you can see ribs from the back, there's a problem.
    Personally I think the biggest issue with women's view on their bodies is some of the unrealistic goals they try to achieve especially when trying to emulate that of one of their favorite celebrities. Teen girls happen to be the worst and with all the BS advice given to them by friends, they end up having emotional issues over them.
    I say concentrate on you, and be the best you that you can be. You may not have the perfect body, but genetics will either be in your favor or not. And that's not really something you can change.
  • Krys_T
    Krys_T Posts: 1,406 Member
    You guys are all so awesome!
  • 1RareJewel
    1RareJewel Posts: 440 Member
    I struggle with this myself. I am 5'9 and my goal weight is 175, only because I was told that 160 was too low for me.......i'll decide once I reach "their goal weight for me.....175"!
  • Krys_T
    Krys_T Posts: 1,406 Member
    I struggle with this myself. I am 5'9 and my goal weight is 175, only because I was told that 160 was too low for me.......i'll decide once I reach "their goal weight for me.....175"!

    See and here is the kicker...right now I am in between a size 12 and size 14 in dress pants. When I did weigh 165 in high school I was wearing a size 10 and a size 13 in jeans....so I am like my 165 now would have to be smaller than I was then. But I cannot figure out how that is possible besides muscle mass. Hmmmm
  • poisongirl1
    poisongirl1 Posts: 93 Member
    In defense of the people thinking you'll be too skinny, some of them might just be having a hard time picturing it. When I was talking to my grandmother not long ago, I told her I wanted to lose 35lbs. Her response was that same "That's too much! You'll be too skinny! Don't lose that much!", until I told her that it would only bring me down to 145lbs (I'm 5'8"). She didn't realise how much I weighed at the time, and how much that would bring me down to, she then was relieved and had a little confused look and said "Oh, really? Well you carry your weight well! You don't look like you weigh that amount". Whenever there are weightloss commercials, it shows the people saying "I lost 45lbs" and holding pants that are twice the size of them. So if you say to someone "I want to lose 40lbs" they might picture you as being less than half your size, or they might not know how much you are now and how much it'll bring you down to (unless you also told them that, I don't know) and are underestimating your weight. They might not know how to picture you at that weight or with that amount of loss, and are genuinely picturing you as being too skinny. You can thank them for their concern, and reassure them that you don't want to become too skinny, you're goal is actually is to be healthier.

    Anyway, the point really is to lose as much as you are comfortable with to make you feel better about yourself. I just thought I'd add that in before too many people started saying they're all just afraid or jealous.
  • Krys_T
    Krys_T Posts: 1,406 Member
    In defense of the people thinking you'll be too skinny, some of them might just be having a hard time picturing it. When I was talking to my grandmother not long ago, I told her I wanted to lose 35lbs. Her response was that same "That's too much! You'll be too skinny! Don't lose that much!", until I told her that it would only bring me down to 145lbs (I'm 5'8"). She didn't realise how much I weighed at the time, and how much that would bring me down to, she then was relieved and had a little confused look and said "Oh, really? Well you carry your weight well! You don't look like you weigh that amount". Whenever there are weightloss commercials, it shows the people saying "I lost 45lbs" and holding pants that are twice the size of them. So if you say to someone "I want to lose 40lbs" they might picture you as being less than half your size, or they might not know how much you are now and how much it'll bring you down to (unless you also told them that, I don't know) and are underestimating your weight. They might not know how to picture you at that weight or with that amount of loss, and are genuinely picturing you as being too skinny. You can thank them for their concern, and reassure them that you don't want to become too skinny, you're goal is actually is to be healthier.

    Anyway, the point really is to lose as much as you are comfortable with to make you feel better about yourself. I just thought I'd add that in before too many people started saying they're all just afraid or jealous.


    This makes sense, because any time I have told someone how much I weigh (not many people AT ALL) they are surprised. Like the other day I told a friend how much I weighed and he said, "Really? Are you sure" so this makes sense because I carry weight throughout my whole body. Thanks for that input, I never thought about it that way because they don't know how much I weigh.
  • foxxybrown
    foxxybrown Posts: 838 Member
    My brother's girlfriend is 5'10 and around 170. She wants to be 140 and I'm like no way. I say go for 165. I've lost about 20 lbs and my family is saying I'm "skinny as a rail". At 5'5" and 151 lbs, I don't think so. I told them that I wanted to get to 145 and they said I shouldn't lose anymore weight. I actually feel great at my size right now so the 145 is up in the air but do what you feel comfortable with!
  • zebraroonie
    zebraroonie Posts: 13
    I struggle with my goal weight a lot. Ultimately, do what makes you happy!!

    But don't get too caught up on the number either. I know, easier said than done, bc I'm totally number obsessed!=)

    Look at the overall picture--body fat percentage, your porportions etc. You look great from your pic, but only you live in YOUR body!=) Do you girlfirend!
  • Krys_T
    Krys_T Posts: 1,406 Member
    My brother's girlfriend is 5'10 and around 170. She wants to be 140 and I'm like no way. I say go for 165. I've lost about 20 lbs and my family is saying I'm "skinny as a rail". At 5'5" and 151 lbs, I don't think so. I told them that I wanted to get to 145 and they said I shouldn't lose anymore weight. I actually feel great at my size right now so the 145 is up in the air but do what you feel comfortable with!

    Well you look fab at your weight!
  • Krys_T
    Krys_T Posts: 1,406 Member
    I struggle with my goal weight a lot. Ultimately, do what makes you happy!!

    But don't get too caught up on the number either. I know, easier said than done, bc I'm totally number obsessed!=)

    Look at the overall picture--body fat percentage, your porportions etc. You look great from your pic, but only you live in YOUR body!=) Do you girlfirend!

    Thank you! I try not to be number obsessed, but I am a Capricorn and we are obsessed about everything that we can control! LOL
  • Kellywithjustay
    Kellywithjustay Posts: 12
    Ya- I agree with the previous poster- if they don't know how much you weight they probably don't think you weigh as much as you do. I am alot heavier than I look and people never believe me when I tell them what I weigh.

    If your goal is within the healthy BMI range then don't let anyone tell you that's you'll be too skinny. (Plus if you are exercising you'll be gaining muscle and toning and defining, so it's not like you'll just be skin and bone- you'll be healthy and shapely. )
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    I think people are so used to "overweight" being normal and are afraid of over "skinny" that they don't know what is healthy anymore. "Healthy" can be a big range. But there's nothing wrong with being on the slightly lower side of healthy. I'm 5'9" and 151 right now. My goal is 145ish. I've been there before and was wearing a size 8. My family told me I was too skinny... Yeah, my family with high risk of diabetes and high blood pressure due to being overweight. Whatever. I eat between 1800 - 2500 calories a day. Pretty sure I don't have an eating disorder. I ignore them. They don't know.

    But I do avoid saying "I have ## more to lose", or even "I want to lose more". I just say "thank you" to the complements and move on.
  • ambermichon
    ambermichon Posts: 404 Member
    I dont let what others say bother me....I do what feels best for me and my body!!!! Some people say my weight is heavy for my height but I lift heavy and have a lot of muscle. I go by how I look and feel. :-)
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    My understanding (and this could be completely wrong, so no one yell at me) is that if you carry excess weight, your bone density increases. Also, carrying excess weight, requires additional muscle to carry it around. Don't shoot for what you weight in high school. shoot for 10-20 pounds over that and then adjust when you get there.
  • Krys_T
    Krys_T Posts: 1,406 Member
    My understanding (and this could be completely wrong, so no one yell at me) is that if you carry excess weight, your bone density increases. Also, carrying excess weight, requires additional muscle to carry it around. Don't shoot for what you weight in high school. shoot for 10-20 pounds over that and then adjust when you get there.

    Perfect! So I can do 175 LOL...
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    I think most of the time when people say, "Oh, don't lose any more weight, you'll look to skinny!" they are simply trying to dissuade you from continuing to lose weight, because it shows them up.

    It is possible to be to skinny, and there are people on this board trying desperately to lose weight who should not be. I'm talking about people weighing under 100 pounds.

    I figure pretty much as long as you get to the point where you don't have portions of your body drooping over from fat, you've won the battle.

    Steve
  • foxxybrown
    foxxybrown Posts: 838 Member
    My brother's girlfriend is 5'10 and around 170. She wants to be 140 and I'm like no way. I say go for 165. I've lost about 20 lbs and my family is saying I'm "skinny as a rail". At 5'5" and 151 lbs, I don't think so. I told them that I wanted to get to 145 and they said I shouldn't lose anymore weight. I actually feel great at my size right now so the 145 is up in the air but do what you feel comfortable with!

    Well you look fab at your weight!

    Thank you!
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