Tips for countering self-sabotage?

I had to make a Plan B for anything that might throw me off of my Plan A. Someone brings candy or sweets? I don't eat them at work, only if I buy them myself (and I generally don't). Lunch in a restaurant? Eat 1/2 of the comfort meal and take the other 1/2 home, or make a better choice and eat it all. Talking myself into driving home instead of the gym? But going to the gym is "what I do," so I'd better do it. In fact, all I have to do is get there. Once I'm there, just do 10 minutes of something (I have NEVER left without doing a full workout. Never. Once I get going, I realize how good it feels, and I keep going.)

My ONE HUGE WEAKNESS that I'm really struggling with right now because I haven't gone to Plan B is after dinner snacks. Plan B used to be a better choice. I stopped buying them when I stopped snacking. Lately, I have been snacking, but without my better choices, I'm adding in a gajillion calories that I don't need. So back to Plan B.
It has really helped me to build habits. Most of the time, my Plan A is easier than a backup, so psychologically, I have been able to stick to it more often than not.

Good luck!

There's a really great podcast called Half Size Me that addresses these issues over and over. It might be a good resource for you.

There are a couple of things in your story that I'd comment on.

First, it sounds like you're picking a plan that's very structured, and that puts certain foods you enjoy off limits. I want to be sure that you understand that neither strict structure nor food-type restrictions are essential for weight management. Plans like that help some people, but hinder others.

Second, if you're losing several pounds within two or three days, then regaining it after a "cookie incident" (even a fairly major one) and giving up, then one of two things (if not both) is happening. First, some background info:

It's normal, even on a sensibly moderate calorie deficit (slow loss target), to lose some water weight right away, especially if eating fewer carbs or less sodium than formerly. (I don't necessarily mean truly low carbs or salt, just less than before). So, some of that initial loss is probably meaningless water weight fluctuation. However, if some of it is fat, you're probably choosing an extremely aggressive loss rate, implicitly or explicitly - especially aggressive if you're not quite substantially overweight (100+ pounds or more to lose). A pound or two is a good goal, for most people (less if within 10-20 pounds of goal, probably).

It's also normal, after losing (partly) water weight to see that water weight come back on the scale big time if eating more than the "diet amount" of food, or momentarily returning closer to a normal level of carb/salt intake. Keep in mind that the extra food itself has physical weight in your digestive system, even ignoring slightly delayed effects on water or fat changes. If you eat a pound of cookies, guess what? You gain a pound in an instant. But it's not fat. It's still cookies.

If you drop 3 pounds in 3 days, and regain them after a one day "incident", think about what it would take for that to be entirely and only changes in body fat: In the first days of your restricted eating, to lose 3 pounds of fat, you would've had to eat *10,500 calories* less than your maintenance calories.

I don't know your details, but the US government uses 2000 calories daily as an approximation for a statistically average woman's calorie needs (it's exact for almost no one, but in the general ballpark for many). So, if you're statistically average, to lose 3 pounds of fat in 3 days, you would've had to not only do what you do in your regular everyday life routinely (the stuff that burns 2000 calories), but somehow work off or under-eat your basic calorie needs by 3500 calories more than that (nearly twice the average) each of those days. Very, very, unlikely. Very.

On the flip side, for a "cookie incident" to cause 3 pounds of fat gain, you'd have to eat 10,500 calories of cookies over and above the calories needed to maintain your weight. So, you would've eaten your restricted-diet foods, which would be expected to leave you in a few hundred calories' deficit (let's conservatively say 500 calories deficit). You'd have to eat those 500 calories plus the 10,500 calories of cookies to gain 3 pounds of fat in one day. For illustrative purposes only, since a regular-sized standard filling Oreo has about 53 calories, that'd be 207 Oreos to gain 3 pounds. I'm not saying no one can eat that many Oreos or equivalent in one day . . . but I'm betting that you didn't.

So, getting to the bottom line, there are two sub-possibilities that may be limiting your success:

1. Are you trying to lose weight unsustainably fast?
2. Are you "regaining" water weight (which isn't fat) and letting that persuade you inaccurately that you've wiped out all of your fat loss, so you give up?

And a 3rd that may be meaningful in another way:

3. Are you restricting foods you enjoy, more than is necessary, creating more than minimum cravings or other sustainability problems?

None of those things are essential for weight loss, and they can be counterproductive.

I'm inclined to suggest - though from a position of ignorance about you and your plan - that the problem isn't you, it's your plan.

If you eat mostly foods you enjoy, in reasonable portions, and figure out how to fine-tune your eating to feel full and happy while you do so, it's possible to lose weight gradually. "Gradually" can be a good thing, since for any of us with a substantial amount to lose, it's a long-term proposition. (It took me the better part of a year to lose 50ish pounds.)

You can eat out. You don't have to make perfect choices every single time, just kind of OK ones the majority of the time. If it works for you personally, you can eat a lighter breakfast or dinner to allow for a more calorific lunch or bigger snacks. Cookies and chocolate are not the devil: In fact, they each contain useful nutrients (they're just a little light on nutrients, and heavy on calories, relatively speaking). You can eat some cookies and chocolate, and still lose weight and be well-nourished.

Obviously, no one here, least of all me, is suggesting a diet of only cookies and chocolate. I'm suggesting a diet of mostly-lean protein, veggies and fruits, some grains/starches, and the occasional (or routine small) portion of cookies or chocolate, as part of a well-rounded, nutritious, practical, enjoyable diet.

One approach you could consider is starting just by logging the foods you routinely eat now (pre-"diet"). Look at your MFP diary, see which things seem like more calories than they're worth to you personally, and think about how they contribute to your nutrition (or don't). Tweak your eating in a positive direction, and repeat. Keep tweaking, until you're hitting a sensible calorie goal (not aggressively low), and are feeling full, having happy food-related social connections, getting reasonable nutrition, etc. If that idea appeals to you, there's more information about that approach in this thread:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10636388/free-customized-personal-weight-loss-eating-plan-not-spam-or-mlm/p1

It's pretty much how I lost around 50 pounds, obese to a healthy weight, in less than a year (at age 59-60, while hypothyroid, BTW), and have stayed at a healthy weight (133.6 pounds this morning, at 5'5") since. I'm pretty sure it can work for some people , though I'm sure it's not perfect for all.

The one vital thing, to lose weight: On average, over a period of time, eat somewhat fewer calories than you burn (not just via exercise, but in daily life as well). If you have an over-goal day, don't beat yourself up, just keep going. If your plan doesn't help you, change your plan. Keep going.

Best wishes! :flowerforyou:

If your plan is only lasting 2-3 days, then this isn't a viable plan. Motivation is emotional and will rise and fall. You need to incorporate some manner of discipline around this, but with enough flexibility within the plan to last long term.

There is nothing slow about your metabolism - this is quite fixed based upon mass. The notion of slow/fast metabolism is largely a myth.

The only thing that matters in weight management is calories. You need to establish a modest deficit (not massive) so follow the MFP guidelines.

The biggest hurdle most have is breaking the cycle of behavior that leads you to eat in surplus. This requires a conscious effort to identify the habits which are sabotaging your goals and replacing these with habits that help you attain your goals.

Find those foods you find satiating. For me this is egg, chicken and oatmeal. Don't sacrifice social interactions, but make wise calorie decisions during them.