Losing weight and keeping it off for life- possible for me?
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iwillow08
Posts: 3 Member
Hi everyone.
I have lurked on MFP for about 3 years now, reading posts. I have tracked on and off but not seriously, no measuring foods on a scale or anything.
A little bit of my story....
Since 2016 I have lost large amounts of weight and regained it a few times- 15 kgs or more each time. In 2018 I lost 17 kgs, and regained that, plus 6 more. This was in a short time frame too. 2019 was spent with me trying to do the same thing- starting, but never lasting more than a week or two. I now know that the excessive food restriction was the cause of my rapid rebounds. On those times I lost weight, I was eating about 1200- 1300 cals and not eating back exercise cals. I loved seeing the weight drop off the scale- day to day and weekly. I wasn't aware that I was most likely losing a lot of muscle and water weight during those times. I had a bad obsession with the scale, weighing multiple times a day and letting the number dictate my eating.
In the end the loss was impossible to sustain and maintain. I ended up eating everything, in huge quantities, especially sweet foods. I also believe there is depression that I was, and still am dealing with, as well as an extremely low self esteem and self love.
I have never really been in a healthy BMI range my whole life, having 4 children over the years has also caused my weight to fluctuate a lot too.
I have recently just started trying again, as of 4 days ago, tracking my calories and exercising. I have not seen a shift on the scales- at all. On previous attempts, I would see the numbers drop- even if it were only water weight, it was enough to encourage me to go on. This has made me question if my metabolism is crashed, or whether I am eating too much, which I know I'm not. I am incredibly frustrated that what worked for me every single time in the past (seeing the scale weight go down) is not now when I am not starving myself. I am losing belief in myself and not trusting the process and fear I have to eat very little to now lose weight because of a potentially damaged metabolism.
I have no other health complaints, other than being obese. I would love to start feeling better about myself physically and mentally, but I feel so low, as low as can be. I don't know if I have the strength in me to keep fighting this weight battle, and yet the alternative- to remain overweight frightens me so much. I am so embarrassed and ashamed for people I know , who see me constantly lose and gain weight over the years, and feel terrible for being a bad role model for my children too.
I don't know what to do, and question whether I should see a dietician or get a plan done by a trainer for me is the right way forward. I feel totally lost here, and on the brink of losing hope and giving up.
Stats- 36F
92kgs
163cms
Thank you to all who read this and can offer sound advice- I am feeling very very fragile right now.
I have lurked on MFP for about 3 years now, reading posts. I have tracked on and off but not seriously, no measuring foods on a scale or anything.
A little bit of my story....
Since 2016 I have lost large amounts of weight and regained it a few times- 15 kgs or more each time. In 2018 I lost 17 kgs, and regained that, plus 6 more. This was in a short time frame too. 2019 was spent with me trying to do the same thing- starting, but never lasting more than a week or two. I now know that the excessive food restriction was the cause of my rapid rebounds. On those times I lost weight, I was eating about 1200- 1300 cals and not eating back exercise cals. I loved seeing the weight drop off the scale- day to day and weekly. I wasn't aware that I was most likely losing a lot of muscle and water weight during those times. I had a bad obsession with the scale, weighing multiple times a day and letting the number dictate my eating.
In the end the loss was impossible to sustain and maintain. I ended up eating everything, in huge quantities, especially sweet foods. I also believe there is depression that I was, and still am dealing with, as well as an extremely low self esteem and self love.
I have never really been in a healthy BMI range my whole life, having 4 children over the years has also caused my weight to fluctuate a lot too.
I have recently just started trying again, as of 4 days ago, tracking my calories and exercising. I have not seen a shift on the scales- at all. On previous attempts, I would see the numbers drop- even if it were only water weight, it was enough to encourage me to go on. This has made me question if my metabolism is crashed, or whether I am eating too much, which I know I'm not. I am incredibly frustrated that what worked for me every single time in the past (seeing the scale weight go down) is not now when I am not starving myself. I am losing belief in myself and not trusting the process and fear I have to eat very little to now lose weight because of a potentially damaged metabolism.
I have no other health complaints, other than being obese. I would love to start feeling better about myself physically and mentally, but I feel so low, as low as can be. I don't know if I have the strength in me to keep fighting this weight battle, and yet the alternative- to remain overweight frightens me so much. I am so embarrassed and ashamed for people I know , who see me constantly lose and gain weight over the years, and feel terrible for being a bad role model for my children too.
I don't know what to do, and question whether I should see a dietician or get a plan done by a trainer for me is the right way forward. I feel totally lost here, and on the brink of losing hope and giving up.
Stats- 36F
92kgs
163cms
Thank you to all who read this and can offer sound advice- I am feeling very very fragile right now.
11
Replies
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If you stick with it, yes, it’s possible.0
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Good morning:) I know how starting off can feel, and many of us have been in your shoes at one point or another... do not give up
this community is great for support, and so many are willing to help with whatever advice they can contribute!
I think you should go back to your very first sentence, and get a food scale and measure and log all of your food. Get a reality check on how much you are eating. Some serving sizes can be super deceiving when weighing them out and seeing the reality. You don't need to restrict certain foods, just make sure that it will fit into your calorie allowance
Secondly, you need to give then process time. Your weight will fluctuate throughout the entire journey(which will never be over), so don't get overwhelmed when it doesn't move in the direction you like. Any new exercise could cause water retention, so that could be a culprit, along with a variety of other reasons. As long as you are at a deficit, the scale will move lower for you
Another thing I would like to say, is because you have had an issue with the scale bringing you stress in the past, I would try putting it away for a little while, as you get used to weighing and logging food accurately. When you get used to this new routine, and want to bring the scale back, embrace positive changes or new accomplishments, and don't let the number on the scale run your life! You can reach your goals, but just try focusing on reaching them in a way that won't make you revert to old habits and undo it all!
I wish you the best of luck, and hope that something I have said will help 3 -
Aside from the yo-yo and restriction issue, we are very alike, I started at your weight and have lost 12kg so far.
4 days is really early. Our weight is influenced by so much more than just losing fat, there is food waste in our system, varying water levels (influenced by exercise, hormones,...).
You need to give it at least a few weeks, for women I've read 4-6 weeks even, since our cycle can strongly influence our weight.
You don't need a diet plan, just eat the foods you like in quantities suitable for your calorie goal.
Be patient, slow and steady wins the race! You can do it
2 -
Thank you for the replies. Yes you are right, perhaps using a food scale is the answer, though I have lost all my weight previous times without one. The foods I eat are very simple- oats and banana and almond milk for breakfast- the oats are in individual packages, so I know the calories, I have a measuring cup for the milk and the banana is not weighed. I just thought that the deficit would be large enough that it wouldn't matter if I were a couple of hundred grams off you know?
My other obstacle is choosing the right things to cook for dinner. I would love to cook for us all and eat the same thing, but with 4 kids, fussy eaters, different likes and dislikes, plus 1 with allergies- it is very hard for me to cook weight loss meals for me, while also catering for their needs. So as depressing as this sounds, I have found it easier to eat a Lean cuisine type meal for my dinner- just easier on me and I know the exact calories.
I guess I am really lost on how to eat.
I like your suggestion about putting the scale away, I guess I really need the reassurance of the scale to see that I am heading in the right direction, its a hard thing to let go of.
Gosh, this is all so overwhelming, I apologise.1 -
Aside from the yo-yo and restriction issue, we are very alike, I started at your weight and have lost 12kg so far.
4 days is really early. Our weight is influenced by so much more than just losing fat, there is food waste in our system, varying water levels (influenced by exercise, hormones,...).
You need to give it at least a few weeks, for women I've read 4-6 weeks even, since our cycle can strongly influence our weight.
You don't need a diet plan, just eat the foods you like in quantities suitable for your calorie goal.
Be patient, slow and steady wins the race! You can do it
Thank you. I know 4 days is tiny in the big picture. I guess I am frustrated as I am comparing now to the past times where it's come down every day.
I am eating 1500 calories, 3 meals and 2 snacks, not eating exercise cals back. I feel satisfied on this amount of food.
So, its very likely I could be losing body fat while not seeing the scale drop? Can I ask how many cals you are eating and have you had times where your weight was stagnant?0 -
You definitely shouldn’t be discouraged because you haven’t lost in just a few days. Be patient and ready for the long haul. Have faith in a gradual calorie deficit and be kind and forgive yourself when you have the odd indulgence.
Perhaps a trainer will help keep you focused and give you support if you think you will struggle to stay motivated on your own but it’s certainly not necessary.
Just don’t work to too strict a calorie allocation. Slow and steady not only wins the race but puts you on a path to a sustainable lifestyle for the future.
Have faith!1 -
Aside from the yo-yo and restriction issue, we are very alike, I started at your weight and have lost 12kg so far.
4 days is really early. Our weight is influenced by so much more than just losing fat, there is food waste in our system, varying water levels (influenced by exercise, hormones,...).
You need to give it at least a few weeks, for women I've read 4-6 weeks even, since our cycle can strongly influence our weight.
You don't need a diet plan, just eat the foods you like in quantities suitable for your calorie goal.
Be patient, slow and steady wins the race! You can do it
Thank you. I know 4 days is tiny in the big picture. I guess I am frustrated as I am comparing now to the past times where it's come down every day.
I am eating 1500 calories, 3 meals and 2 snacks, not eating exercise cals back. I feel satisfied on this amount of food.
So, its very likely I could be losing body fat while not seeing the scale drop? Can I ask how many cals you are eating and have you had times where your weight was stagnant?
Yes, you could be losing fat without seeing the scale drop if you are eating the amount of calories you think you are eating. That's why weighing food is important.
I'm eating quite a bit more than you actually. I started with a goal of 1750 calories, and after losing 12kg I'm currently on a 1600 calorie goal. However, I usually eat more than that. My activity tracker gives me extra calories for being more active than sedentary and/or exercising. I always eat back those calories.
I've been losing 0.25 to 0.5kg per week.
And yes, my weight has stagnated, more than once.
This is my weight over the past months:
4 -
Hi everyone.
I have lurked on MFP for about 3 years now, reading posts. I have tracked on and off but not seriously, no measuring foods on a scale or anything.
A little bit of my story....
Since 2016 I have lost large amounts of weight and regained it a few times- 15 kgs or more each time. In 2018 I lost 17 kgs, and regained that, plus 6 more. This was in a short time frame too. 2019 was spent with me trying to do the same thing- starting, but never lasting more than a week or two. I now know that the excessive food restriction was the cause of my rapid rebounds. On those times I lost weight, I was eating about 1200- 1300 cals and not eating back exercise cals. I loved seeing the weight drop off the scale- day to day and weekly. I wasn't aware that I was most likely losing a lot of muscle and water weight during those times. I had a bad obsession with the scale, weighing multiple times a day and letting the number dictate my eating.
In the end the loss was impossible to sustain and maintain. I ended up eating everything, in huge quantities, especially sweet foods. I also believe there is depression that I was, and still am dealing with, as well as an extremely low self esteem and self love.
I have never really been in a healthy BMI range my whole life, having 4 children over the years has also caused my weight to fluctuate a lot too.
I have recently just started trying again, as of 4 days ago, tracking my calories and exercising. I have not seen a shift on the scales- at all. On previous attempts, I would see the numbers drop- even if it were only water weight, it was enough to encourage me to go on. This has made me question if my metabolism is crashed, or whether I am eating too much, which I know I'm not. I am incredibly frustrated that what worked for me every single time in the past (seeing the scale weight go down) is not now when I am not starving myself. I am losing belief in myself and not trusting the process and fear I have to eat very little to now lose weight because of a potentially damaged metabolism.
I have no other health complaints, other than being obese. I would love to start feeling better about myself physically and mentally, but I feel so low, as low as can be. I don't know if I have the strength in me to keep fighting this weight battle, and yet the alternative- to remain overweight frightens me so much. I am so embarrassed and ashamed for people I know , who see me constantly lose and gain weight over the years, and feel terrible for being a bad role model for my children too.
I don't know what to do, and question whether I should see a dietician or get a plan done by a trainer for me is the right way forward. I feel totally lost here, and on the brink of losing hope and giving up.
Stats- 36F
92kgs
163cms
Thank you to all who read this and can offer sound advice- I am feeling very very fragile right now.
Hey, just wanted to let you know- it does work! Before when you lost weight so fast it was actually a mixture of water, fat and muscle weight. With such an aggressive deficit that’s probably what happened. I know because I was also a yo-yo dieter and I would diet aggressively. Unfortunately it’s ruined my health but I’m slowly getting better. I definitely feel that my hormonal imbalances are related to my unhealthy dieting habits in the past. Now that you’re doing this right you’re not just losing weight but you’re also making more life long changes (hopefully). I know it’s hard to accept this because in the beginning it was hard for me too. Here’s one way of looking at it that made me change my mind: imagine if six months down the line I’m still at the same weight as I am now?! Because I dieted and lost 15-20lbs but then gained it all back? Now imagine after six months of doing it more sustainably and treating my body with care and no rebound binges? I would’ve probably lost 15 lbs by then and kept it off. See the difference? Because when you’re no longer binging, you’re more in control and your hormones aren’t out of balance like before. You can do this. Also, if the scale upsets you then I would stop using it for a while and focus on counting calories and making sustainable changes.
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Aside from the yo-yo and restriction issue, we are very alike, I started at your weight and have lost 12kg so far.
4 days is really early. Our weight is influenced by so much more than just losing fat, there is food waste in our system, varying water levels (influenced by exercise, hormones,...).
You need to give it at least a few weeks, for women I've read 4-6 weeks even, since our cycle can strongly influence our weight.
You don't need a diet plan, just eat the foods you like in quantities suitable for your calorie goal.
Be patient, slow and steady wins the race! You can do it
Thank you. I know 4 days is tiny in the big picture. I guess I am frustrated as I am comparing now to the past times where it's come down every day.
I am eating 1500 calories, 3 meals and 2 snacks, not eating exercise cals back. I feel satisfied on this amount of food.
So, its very likely I could be losing body fat while not seeing the scale drop? Can I ask how many cals you are eating and have you had times where your weight was stagnant?
Yes you’re losing body fat but the scale sometimes takes time to catch up. For us women it’s around 4-6 weeks of consistent logging and tracking, due to the menstrual cycle. I’m currently eating 2000 calories but my TDEE is roughly 2350 that’s why. I’m aiming to do this slowly and sustainably. Well my weight is stagnant right now because I maintained for 3 weeks around Christmas and New Year. Then I started lifting and I started deadlifts for the first time ever. Hello, DOMS and water retention! So I’m pretty much focusing on the mirror and I’m looking smaller. I finally don’t let the scale rule my life although I do have my off days! Since I’m not far off from my goal weight it’s just going to slower- 0.5-0.7 lbs a week it is. Remember slow and steady wins the race.1 -
You didn't damage your ability to lose weight, don't worry. Also, a few days is not enough time to determine how things are going.
Food scales are SO important and are absolute game changers. For example, my english muffin this morning: according to the package, 56g was 150 cal... but the muffin was actually 87g!!! So it was actually 233 cal. In my experience, pre-packaged food often contains more (sometimes much more) than they say they do- rarely is it less. That adds up over the course of a day/week.
It is also extremely handy for calorie-dense foods like peanut butter- most people think they can eyeball it but most people are wrong.
If nothing else, food scales can be eye-openers for portion sizes.
Logging *everything* and being honest with ourselves can be the hardest part, but we owe it to ourselves to do so.
You can do this!!!1 -
Check out the maintenance forum.0
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I would say that if you've just begun exercising you are probably retaining water--it repairs your muscles. Then prepackaged food can have a lot of sodium and that will cause water weight. Getting used to using a food scale is a good idea for all of the reasons stated above. You must be patient and persistent. Take your measurements and keep a weekly journal. This will help you see how far you've come when you hit a stall. Read the success threads to keep you going when things are down. Good luck and never give up.1
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Long term weight loss and sustainability is absolutely possible, but to be successful you are going to need to change the outlook that has doomed you in the past, which is one that it seems like so far you are still making the same mistakes on. Eating too little and crash dieting was one part of the problem before, and it is good that you are taking steps to rectify that. However the unhealthy obsession with the scale and the desire for quick progress is going to derail you if you don't get a handle on that soon.
4 days is the blink of an eye. It is impossible to draw any data consclusion at all from it. If I added up all the times when my weight stayed stable for 4 days during my journey even when I was on track, it would be too many to count.
You are wanting to have a successful, life long transformation. To do that, you are going to need to slow down your thinking, and think in weeks and months vs. days. Because focusing on days is how you get obsessed with the scale and then crash and gain everything back again.
Buy a food scale. Weigh your food as often as you can. Stick with your plan for a couple of months minimum before you make any sort of evaluation of it. I would only weigh yourself at most, once a week, if not less frequently. Give yourself time.4
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