Pretty friend who needs to tell me...your thoughts?

chubswonky
chubswonky Posts: 195
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
I have a friend who most would consider extremely pretty. She has a nice body and a pretty face and guys loveeee her.
Any time I see her, she feels the need to tell me in detail about her dates, which always include at least ten minutes of her mentioning that the guy in question told her that she was so beautiful, or gorgeous or perfect or whatever.

Even if I were absolutely drop dead gorgeous (which I'm not)... is that normal?
Do your friends give you every detail like that too? Or... would you find it annoying?

I'm supposed to see her soon and thinking about it is just getting me anxious! hah

Any good responses for when she starts to do that?
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Replies

  • mcdonl
    mcdonl Posts: 342 Member
    Any good responses for when she starts to do that?

    Sadly sh eis probably trying to convince herself after a lifetime of someone she loves telling her she is not good enough.

    Just my guess
  • Chastityx
    Chastityx Posts: 192 Member
    Despite what others think of her, it really sounds like she has low self esteem and needs that reassurance.
  • jpaden
    jpaden Posts: 21
    you could always just look really sympathetic and say, "well its just too bad all those guys never tell you how smart you are!"
  • CoachMaritova
    CoachMaritova Posts: 409 Member
    I have been friends with someone since high school... and she is exactly that way. Interestingly, she was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    She is probably intimidated by YOUR gorgeous body!!! :love:
  • patriot201
    patriot201 Posts: 117 Member
    Some people who are like that do have Narcisistic Personality Disorder, as the previous poster mentioned, but more likely, she has profoundly LOW self esteem and is trying to compensate.
  • boku70
    boku70 Posts: 80
    I think the real question is, Why do you care so much? So let her talk about her dates, and how hot they told her she is. What skin is it off your nose? (If you dislike hanging out with her that much, just don't hang out with her.)
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    There is no question in my mind (and I'm not trying to put myself down at all because I don't really like her build!) but she would truly rather die than look like me!
  • khk2010
    khk2010 Posts: 451 Member
    you could always just look really sympathetic and say, "well its just too bad all those guys never tell you how smart you are!"

    Perfect!
  • shonasteele
    shonasteele Posts: 473
    Despite what others think of her, it really sounds like she has low self esteem and needs that reassurance.
    This was my first thought too. It's hard to hate her (too much) for it when you realize she probably NEEDS to hear it to convince herself. Don't be too hard on her over it. Maybe just something like, "okay, we both know you're beautiful, what happened next?"
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    I think the real question is, Why do you care so much? So let her talk about her dates, and how hot they told her she is. What skin is it off your nose? (If you dislike hanging out with her that much, just don't hang out with her.)

    Because if you only see someone every so often, for them to spend the majority of the time, every time, telling you how beautiful they are...really makes for a painful one-sided conversation! Honestly, I haven't been hanging out with her as much for a few other reasons
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    Despite what others think of her, it really sounds like she has low self esteem and needs that reassurance.
    This was my first thought too. It's hard to hate her (too much) for it when you realize she probably NEEDS to hear it to convince herself. Don't be too hard on her over it. Maybe just something like, "okay, we both know you're beautiful, what happened next?"

    Oh, I'm not hard on her! I alllllways listen! lol Which is probably why it's getting to me!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Ask her if for all the dates does she ever think she will find a guy that cares for her beyond a possible one night tumble in the sheets.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    There is no question in my mind (and I'm not trying to put myself down at all because I don't really like her build!) but she would truly rather die than look like me!

    The thing is though. Is that MEN looove your build. If she doesn't like it that probably upsets her even more!

    And don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I have an hourglass figure and men tell me I have the "perfect body" all the time. Even when I am carrying extra pounds.

    Apparently men are attracted to a waist to hip ratio. And hunny... you's got it!!!!!!! :flowerforyou:
  • glockster972
    glockster972 Posts: 704 Member
    She is probably intimidated by YOUR gorgeous body!!! :love:

    Kind of what I was thinking!! Wow-wee
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    There is no question in my mind (and I'm not trying to put myself down at all because I don't really like her build!) but she would truly rather die than look like me!

    The thing is though. Is that MEN looove your build. If she doesn't like it that probably upsets her even more!

    And don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I have an hourglass figure and men tell me I have the "perfect body" all the time. Even when I am carrying extra pounds.

    Apparently men are attracted to a waist to hip ratio. And hunny... you's got it!!!!!!! :flowerforyou:


    You're a sweetie! Thank you! I guess I should have bought this dress! lol :)
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
    I better not give you advice on this...I'm a very passive-aggressive person, and I'd probably only help you decrease your number of friends by 1. :huh: In any case, it sounds like your friend sure likes to hear about herself, once from her date, and again from herself describing her date. Not too much fun to be around.
  • Happy0326
    Happy0326 Posts: 159 Member
    you could always just look really sympathetic and say, "well its just too bad all those guys never tell you how smart you are!"
  • Happy0326
    Happy0326 Posts: 159 Member
    Ha ha ha ha ....good one!!!
  • plainjoe81
    plainjoe81 Posts: 53 Member
    Maybe not politically correct, but tell her no amount of convincing is going to make you go gay for her.
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    I better not give you advice on this...I'm a very passive-aggressive person, and I'd probably only help you decrease your number of friends by 1. :huh: In any case, it sounds like your friend sure likes to hear about herself, once from her date, and again from herself describing her date. Not too much fun to be around.

    haha I know! It's tough. I don't want to be a jerk or seem like I don't care ...it's just really hard to sit through every.single.time. I see her because she goes on dates constantly.
  • jazzy020106
    jazzy020106 Posts: 485 Member
    She could either be looking for reassurance or fishing for compliments. Maybe she really likes talking about herself.I mean, I dont know her or her personality.. but there are alot of reasons why women do those type of things... **shrugs**
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    Maybe not politically correct, but tell her no amount of convincing is going to make you go gay for her.


    hahah love this!
  • jazzy020106
    jazzy020106 Posts: 485 Member
    Maybe not politically correct, but tell her no amount of convincing is going to make you go gay for her.

    LMAO
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    I think the real question is, Why do you care so much? So let her talk about her dates, and how hot they told her she is. What skin is it off your nose? (If you dislike hanging out with her that much, just don't hang out with her.)

    Because if you only see someone every so often, for them to spend the majority of the time, every time, telling you how beautiful they are...really makes for a painful one-sided conversation! Honestly, I haven't been hanging out with her as much for a few other reasons

    Why are you hanging out with her at all? I don't have any advice as to what you can say to her. But I can tell you this, in my short 38 years on this planet I've learned life is to short to have "friends" in my life who irritate me or make me feel bad about myself. I may have fewer friends than I did in my 20s, but the few I do have are the only ones I want. I'm very selective about who I hang out with. Friendship, true friendship, needs to work both ways.
  • scoobydrew10
    scoobydrew10 Posts: 3 Member
    I agree with mcdonl.
    Sounds like she is giving herself that esteem boost because the important people in her life aren't. It also sounds like you are a good friend and you're there for her even though it drives you nuts sometimes.
    Next time it starts to drive you nuts, just remember: you might not FEEL as pretty as her, but you're comfortable with who you are and that's all the beauty you need.
    Just be there for her and she'll find her way.
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    I agree with mcdonl.
    Sounds like she is giving herself that esteem boost because the important people in her life aren't. It also sounds like you are a good friend and you're there for her even though it drives you nuts sometimes.
    Next time it starts to drive you nuts, just remember: you might not FEEL as pretty as her, but you're comfortable with who you are and that's all the beauty you need.
    Just be there for her and she'll find her way.

    That's a really sweet thing to say- thank you!
  • shelleilei
    shelleilei Posts: 122 Member
    Despite what others think of her, it really sounds like she has low self esteem and needs that reassurance.



    THIS. Low self-esteem doesn't discriminate.
  • RoanneRed
    RoanneRed Posts: 429 Member
    Maybe once conversation is well underway at your next meeting, you could try gently asking her if she realises how much she talks in those ways? Especially if you value her as a person, this might help her grow/learn something about herselt.
  • Scoobiesnax
    Scoobiesnax Posts: 148 Member
    Despite what others think of her, it really sounds like she has low self esteem and needs that reassurance.

    DING DING DING !!! WE HAVE A WINNER !!!
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