Pretty friend who needs to tell me...your thoughts?

Options
2»

Replies

  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    Options
    I better not give you advice on this...I'm a very passive-aggressive person, and I'd probably only help you decrease your number of friends by 1. :huh: In any case, it sounds like your friend sure likes to hear about herself, once from her date, and again from herself describing her date. Not too much fun to be around.

    haha I know! It's tough. I don't want to be a jerk or seem like I don't care ...it's just really hard to sit through every.single.time. I see her because she goes on dates constantly.
  • jazzy020106
    jazzy020106 Posts: 485 Member
    Options
    She could either be looking for reassurance or fishing for compliments. Maybe she really likes talking about herself.I mean, I dont know her or her personality.. but there are alot of reasons why women do those type of things... **shrugs**
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    Options
    Maybe not politically correct, but tell her no amount of convincing is going to make you go gay for her.


    hahah love this!
  • jazzy020106
    jazzy020106 Posts: 485 Member
    Options
    Maybe not politically correct, but tell her no amount of convincing is going to make you go gay for her.

    LMAO
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    Options
    I think the real question is, Why do you care so much? So let her talk about her dates, and how hot they told her she is. What skin is it off your nose? (If you dislike hanging out with her that much, just don't hang out with her.)

    Because if you only see someone every so often, for them to spend the majority of the time, every time, telling you how beautiful they are...really makes for a painful one-sided conversation! Honestly, I haven't been hanging out with her as much for a few other reasons

    Why are you hanging out with her at all? I don't have any advice as to what you can say to her. But I can tell you this, in my short 38 years on this planet I've learned life is to short to have "friends" in my life who irritate me or make me feel bad about myself. I may have fewer friends than I did in my 20s, but the few I do have are the only ones I want. I'm very selective about who I hang out with. Friendship, true friendship, needs to work both ways.
  • scoobydrew10
    scoobydrew10 Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    I agree with mcdonl.
    Sounds like she is giving herself that esteem boost because the important people in her life aren't. It also sounds like you are a good friend and you're there for her even though it drives you nuts sometimes.
    Next time it starts to drive you nuts, just remember: you might not FEEL as pretty as her, but you're comfortable with who you are and that's all the beauty you need.
    Just be there for her and she'll find her way.
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
    Options
    I agree with mcdonl.
    Sounds like she is giving herself that esteem boost because the important people in her life aren't. It also sounds like you are a good friend and you're there for her even though it drives you nuts sometimes.
    Next time it starts to drive you nuts, just remember: you might not FEEL as pretty as her, but you're comfortable with who you are and that's all the beauty you need.
    Just be there for her and she'll find her way.

    That's a really sweet thing to say- thank you!
  • shelleilei
    shelleilei Posts: 122 Member
    Options
    Despite what others think of her, it really sounds like she has low self esteem and needs that reassurance.



    THIS. Low self-esteem doesn't discriminate.
  • RoanneRed
    RoanneRed Posts: 429 Member
    Options
    Maybe once conversation is well underway at your next meeting, you could try gently asking her if she realises how much she talks in those ways? Especially if you value her as a person, this might help her grow/learn something about herselt.
  • Scoobiesnax
    Scoobiesnax Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    Despite what others think of her, it really sounds like she has low self esteem and needs that reassurance.

    DING DING DING !!! WE HAVE A WINNER !!!
  • babs23
    babs23 Posts: 86
    Options
    It seems that some people don't see value in being humble.

    She's probably been validated by beauty her entire life and just thinks it's normal. It may be the only area of her life where she's received any kind of validation. She may truly think that's all she has to offer.

    Obviously, you can't change her. You can help in subtle ways though - by complimenting other accomplishments in her life, so she knows that you value her for more than just her looks. :)
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
    Options
    Any good responses for when she starts to do that?

    Sadly sh eis probably trying to convince herself after a lifetime of someone she loves telling her she is not good enough.

    Just my guess
    I agree!
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    Options
    There is no question in my mind (and I'm not trying to put myself down at all because I don't really like her build!) but she would truly rather die than look like me!

    The thing is though. Is that MEN looove your build. If she doesn't like it that probably upsets her even more!

    And don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I have an hourglass figure and men tell me I have the "perfect body" all the time. Even when I am carrying extra pounds.

    Apparently men are attracted to a waist to hip ratio. And hunny... you's got it!!!!!!! :flowerforyou:


    You're a sweetie! Thank you! I guess I should have bought this dress! lol :)


    Haha. Sweetpea.... It's not the dress
  • miadvh
    miadvh Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    Well from the looks of your picture..I would say she's just trying to uplift herself out of jealousy..because you have a BANGIN' body! :happy:
  • Robyn4444
    Robyn4444 Posts: 8 Member
    Options
    Really, no, I don't think it's natural to talk about yourself like that. So, she has a problem of some kind. That's for her to sort out if she wants to.

    I guess, I think that you should just be careful that you don't get dragged into her "issues". You said that she wouldn't want to look like you. Don't let her need for constant reassurance feed negative thoughts into your mind. My thoughts are that she actually would love something about your life. If she keeps telling you how great she is, she wants your approval. Nobody bothers telling somebody all about how great they are if the don't care what that person thinks.

    Clearly, you are on this site because you are working towards a healthier life. Perfect. Good luck with it all.
  • Chunkabutt83
    Chunkabutt83 Posts: 461
    Options
    you could always just look really sympathetic and say, "well its just too bad all those guys never tell you how smart you are!"

    this!!
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Options
    Maybe once conversation is well underway at your next meeting, you could try gently asking her if she realises how much she talks in those ways? Especially if you value her as a person, this might help her grow/learn something about herselt.

    This. If she doesn't like it, maybe she's not a friend you need...

    One of my friends is stunning, but, having seen photos of her teenage years, had rather an ugly duckling experience, and she's the exact opposite: we have to tell her how gorgeous she is.
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
    Options
    Maybe once conversation is well underway at your next meeting, you could try gently asking her if she realises how much she talks in those ways? Especially if you value her as a person, this might help her grow/learn something about herselt.

    This. If she doesn't like it, maybe she's not a friend you need...

    One of my friends is stunning, but, having seen photos of her teenage years, had rather an ugly duckling experience, and she's the exact opposite: we have to tell her how gorgeous she is.

    I also agree with this... I'm certain the woman does not do it on purpose. It is no tun to be that insecure.
  • SweetTeaBlossom
    SweetTeaBlossom Posts: 57
    Options
    Either she has low self-esteem or she dislikes you for some reason and she's trying to rub the compliments in your face.

    I know someone like this and I learned to disarm them by going along with it. I smile and compliment her myself. When I do that it's not satisfying to her to brag anymore.
    Ask her if for all the dates does she ever think she will find a guy that cares for her beyond a possible one night tumble in the sheets.

    This is good. What you (OP) could do in a supportive way is tell her to make sure guys aren't using her for looks. There are a lot of ways you can give her b.s. compliments to get her to tone it down.

Categories