The switch to vegetarian while married
GeauxDonielle
Posts: 145 Member
the past month ive made the switch to vegetarian/pescatarian at times- my husband seems to be bothered by my decision and can't believe how emotional I get over it. It's a moral and after research a health reason. The holidays are right around the corner and I don't want to have major fights but also don't want to discard my beliefs. I still buy meat for the family and also have other alternatives if they prefer.soy milk, soy meat products, fruits veggies. It's hard for me to purchase meat being it's contributing to the factory farming but I am trying to keep some peace and not change too much in household all at once. Does anyone have any advice on how to help keep the peace with hubby through the holidays; that are so consumed with massive meat eating?
Revised: I'm not tryig to change him but do want him to be healthy. I usually just eat the sides I it's a meat entree. If I didn't like green beans noone would say anything but being I don't want to eat meat they get offended and mad at me.
Revised: I'm not tryig to change him but do want him to be healthy. I usually just eat the sides I it's a meat entree. If I didn't like green beans noone would say anything but being I don't want to eat meat they get offended and mad at me.
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Replies
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If it is the factory farming you chiefly have a problem with, why not look for locally sourced meats? It costs a little more, but if you are willing to go without meat over it I assume you would be willing to pay a few dollars more for it. I buy beef from a small local farmer--I know the meat is healthy and she treats her cows well because I have seen her operation. Just a suggestion so you can feel better about what you buy for your family and not feel like you are supporting something you abhor. It's hard to balance everyone's needs sometimes.
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Maybe you could just switch around your holiday menus to lessen the focus on meat? Maybe a slightly smaller turkey, or perhaps from a local small farm to lessen the environmental impact? And then make lots of fancy veggie side dishes!0
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My omni husband knew I was vegan when we got married, but I do buy him locally grown meat from time to time and cook it to perfection.
He eats vegan most of the time because I cook every meal and because I am a really good cook - not because I'm trying to make him a vegan.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Great idea! Thank you for the support0
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Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.0
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I wish I could be more help... my solution is to simply not buy the things I don't eat, since I do the shopping. When I was a veg'n we had eggs/cheese/milk in the house. Now that I eat vegan I won't buy those things any more therefore my husband no long eats them at home. He still loves cheesy things when we are out to eat though. If he asked me for something when I went out shopping I suppose I would buy it, but he's never asked. If he wanted to buy and cook his own animals then I'd be fine with that too. As long as I'm cooking something he seems happy though and would rather eat vegan than cook for himself, which is great since I believe this is the healthiest choice for both of our bodies, not to mention animals and the environment!
As for holidays, I always bring a dish to pass that I can eat as a main course and others could have as a side if they wanted. This year I'll make a vegan shepards pie.0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Edit: That goes both ways - if he's doing the cooking, and you don't want what he serves, gotta make your own.0 -
i feel for you, its difficult for other to understand why people don't want to eat animal flesh. The best advice i can offer you is don't make a big fuss over not eating meat, or others eating meat. People don't like to be told that what there eating is wrong especially when socially meat is right up there on the 'this is what you should eat to be normal list'. I'd just eaxplain to your husband that this is your personal choice and if you decided not to 'smoke/drink/eat fast foods' etc anymore would he be supportive, then why is this any different. (I hope im not been to formal it's just i have the same problem with my family). When you holiday been veggie shouldn't be difficult all resturants have at least 3/4 veggie options on there menu, and all suppermarkets stock veggie replacement foods. So if you just go about eating as if your eating exactly how you used to just without meat this should help. If you need any help please message me as i know how isolated you can feel............Peace love and coffee0
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Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?0 -
My omni husband knew I was vegan when we got married, but I do buy him locally grown meat from time to time and cook it to perfection.
He eats vegan most of the time because I cook every meal and because I am a really good cook - not because I'm trying to make him a vegan.
:flowerforyou:
I'm similar to this as I became a vegetarian (again) after being married for 8 years. I still cook him meat but he also enjoys the vegetarian meals I make as well. I think when you cook, don't make it a big deal about it being vegetarian night or whatever. Just cook and see if he likes it but offer to bake or george forman him a chicken breast.
Good luck!0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep0 -
My husband is a vegetarian and when we married, so was I. About two years into our marriage I decided to eat meat again. He supported my choice, but I would never expect him to change his eating habits as well. For dinner I will cook a vegetarian side dish or main meal. My chldren and I will then have meat with that part of meal. Like a chicken breast of fish fillet. With a little planning it all works out. I have a blog about the recipes I make for my husband. These recipes very much appeal to meat eaters. http://www.myveggietable.com.0
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Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.0 -
My husband became a vegetarian after we got married. I make one vegetarian meal on Sunday's that I make out of the crockpot or I make a casserole that will last him several days.
After that, he makes his own meals and I cook for my daughter and I.
It's a PIA, but works for us.
Good luck!0 -
It's a big change and one which I would find as equally hard as your husband. However, it's your choice what you eat and its his choice what he eats. There may have to be some compromise on who cooks!! But you sound like you want to turn everyone else in the house against meat, which is perhaps what he's fighting against? I would be exactly the same as I love my meat! Preaching your newly found religion, eating habits, sexual habits, exercise habits etc etc etc to someone that you married a certain way, is always going to cause friction if they have no interest in that change. This is mainly why people get divorced, one person changes too much, arguments start, resentment sets in .......blah blah!
Like I said, its your choice what you eat, but try not to inflict it on others that are fine with what they eat too!! Everyone can still be happy eating different things. Just takes acceptance and compromise.
good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.0 -
My husband became a vegetarian after we got married. I make one vegetarian meal on Sunday's that I make out of the crockpot or I make a casserole that will last him several days.
After that, he makes his own meals and I cook for my daughter and I.
It's a PIA, but works for us.
Good luck!
Great compromise !! :bigsmile:0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
@BigBearW - I HIGHLY recommend you read a great book called "The Sexual Politics of Meat" by Carol J. Adams. I know you'll really dig it!!0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
@BigBearW - I HIGHLY recommend you read a great book called "The Sexual Politics of Meat" by Carol J. Adams. I know you'll really dig it!!
i will look into that.... i dont read much though, are there cliff notes?0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
This is interesting. So do you think a Kosher or Halal wife should just bite the bullet and compromise her beliefs and cook her man whatever he wants?0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
This is interesting. So do you think a Kosher or Halal wife should just bite the bullet and compromise her beliefs and cook her man whatever he wants?
This isn't about cooking for a MAN, this is about one persons beliefs effecting everyone else. Which I dont think is right. Also we are talking about SWITCHING to vegatarian, and wanting everyone else to go along with it. Which I dont think should be forced on people.0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.
If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!0 -
It's a big change and one which I would find as equally hard as your husband. However, it's your choice what you eat and its his choice what he eats. There may have to be some compromise on who cooks!! But you sound like you want to turn everyone else in the house against meat, which is perhaps what he's fighting against? I would be exactly the same as I love my meat! Preaching your newly found religion, eating habits, sexual habits, exercise habits etc etc etc to someone that you married a certain way, is always going to cause friction if they have no interest in that change. This is mainly why people get divorced, one person changes too much, arguments start, resentment sets in .......blah blah!
Like I said, its your choice what you eat, but try not to inflict it on others that are fine with what they eat too!! Everyone can still be happy eating different things. Just takes acceptance and compromise.
good luck :flowerforyou:
Not trying to change everyone- I just make sure I have enough options for all. I compromise on things and even make two meals. I guess it'll just take time for alittle acceptance. I can't help that my emotions chainged towards something. Guess it's about figuring how to grow together. People always change but I'm not trying to change him. It's not about changing him. It just bothers him that I won't put the meat on my plate or in my body. I cook their meals and I have something sepaate. I do the coolig and I do the PIA arrangements for myself or I go without. I'm not pushing. But it hurts when I get put down just because I don't want to eat something . Thanks for positive outputs. Enjoy reading all views0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.
If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!
LOL!0 -
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If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!
[/quote]
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: classic! And a great idea for someone trying to lose weight :bigsmile:0 -
Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.
If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!
Or she simply learns to cook her own meals. It goes both ways.0 -
Not trying to change everyone- I just make sure I have enough options for all. I compromise on things and even make two meals. I guess it'll just take time for alittle acceptance. I can't help that my emotions chainged towards something. Guess it's about figuring how to grow together. People always change but I'm not trying to change him
Sounds reasonable to me hun. I'm sure things will settle down after a while. When he realises you're not taking his meat away!!!
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Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.
If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!
Or she simply learns to cook her own meals. It goes both ways.
i wouldn't worry about it, no one is going vegatarian in our house. We stongly believe that if God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat. Plants are what food eats.0
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