How to you tell a MFP friend

adross3
adross3 Posts: 606 Member
edited October 2 in Food and Nutrition
How to you tell a MFP friend that what she is eating is making her calorie count go over their recomended. How to you make a recomendation without offending. I'm a straight shooter. Tell it like it is kind of guy.

Replies

  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    if you are a straight shooter, shoot straight :flowerforyou:
  • glockster972
    glockster972 Posts: 704 Member
    I agree, tell it like it is!
  • ajk828
    ajk828 Posts: 335
    You just gotta go balls to the wall and do it. If you're a straight shooter you won't p*ussyfoot your way around it nor will you care if she gets mad/deletes you. At the end of the day, you are trying to help her and if she doesn't want the help then really, what's the point?
  • mermaidrhirhi
    mermaidrhirhi Posts: 39 Member
    well is she still losing weight and happy with her progress? Then all is well & nothing really needs to be said, otherwise, be straight up!
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    Say, "hey, is it your cheat day?" Lol.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    OP, your not too hard on the eyes, so it will be ok if you just give it to her straight.
  • CarolynB38
    CarolynB38 Posts: 553 Member
    Maybe she's having a hard time with it at the moment and really needs some help and support. You should definitely say something, especially if you are offering the help and support that she needs. Say what you need to say but let her know you are there to help if she needs it. Perhaps she doesn't even realise but I suspect she probably does. Good luck with it :smile:
  • lbgano
    lbgano Posts: 234
    Why do you have to tell her? I don't understand why she wouldn't realize it when she logged the food. I mean, the red number is a pretty good hint.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Why do you have to tell her? I don't understand why she wouldn't realize it when she logged the food. I mean, the red number is a pretty good hint.

    Exactly. I certainly wouldn't need or appreciate someone saying "hey, you know that chocolate you just ate put you over your cals for today".
    If you really feel you HAVE to say something, then make it along the lines of "how are things going, looks like you might be finding it tough to meet your goals at the moment". Surely that would be more helpful.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Unless she's asked for opinions, don't say anything, they're her choices.
  • adross3
    adross3 Posts: 606 Member
    if you are a straight shooter, shoot straight :flowerforyou:
    Aim small, miss small.
  • lcarter25
    lcarter25 Posts: 286 Member
    surely she can see its over?
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    If she's not asking for advice, don't give it.

    I created a thread on here because someone msg'd me with well intentioned advice. I didn't want it. I didn't need it. All it did was upset me and make me cry.

    She knows. The red number is telling her. If ask asks 'why is my weight loss slowing/not working/going up?' then offer advice.
  • adross3
    adross3 Posts: 606 Member
    If she's not asking for advice, don't give it.

    I created a thread on here because someone msg'd me with well intentioned advice. I didn't want it. I didn't need it. All it did was upset me and make me cry.

    She knows. The red number is telling her. If ask asks 'why is my weight loss slowing/not working/going up?' then offer advice.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/333271-how-do-you-change-your-mind-s-eye
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    I don't think it's very nice to point it out.

    I would post in that thread telling her why.
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
    just say it, if she doesn't like it, she'll probably block you, or delete you... and i guess then she doesn't want to hear the truth.
  • joseph9
    joseph9 Posts: 328 Member
    I would ask her if she wants advice on her diary or if she's good.
  • kardeamad
    kardeamad Posts: 43
    I would hate it if my friends, regardless of where they are, weren't themselves for fear of upsetting me.

    I have people as my friends because I value them and their opinion. Sure sometimes the shoot from the hip comments can hurt but if they are my friends then I know they are doing it for my benefit not their own.

    If I get dismissive, negative, destructive or just plain nasty comments then I ask myself if I want their friendship or if I am just adding people willy nilly for the sake of it. I think the problem with social sites like this is we just add people without really knowing them :smile:

    I need people to look at me from outside the box and help. If their comments are positive and constructive then I welcome them with open arms.
  • AimingHighWeighingLow
    AimingHighWeighingLow Posts: 192 Member
    All your female friends are feeling paranoid right now ;)

    Back to post....leave them....you are here for you, if she is going over her calories that is her choice, maybe she just isn't ready yet to let go of old habits. If you don't know this person maybe they have an underlying reason as too why they eat so much, you could just upset them by saying anything.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    You should go over your calories, then complain about it to her. Maybe she will offer advice to you, and figure it out for herself.
    Go eat cake.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
    I'd say shoot straight, but be kind. Something like, "hey, I've noticed you've been over on your calories for a while now. Just checking in to make sure everything's ok. Anything I can do to give you more support?" She may need a bit of encouragement, or she may just laugh it off. Anyway, you seem like a caring kind of person, and if it were me, I'd appreciate a friend noticing.
  • dc_amaryllis
    dc_amaryllis Posts: 223 Member
    Tough call. There's no telling how she will react. The worst case scenario is that she gets self conscious and stops logging her food honestly, or quits MFP altogether. We wouldn't want that to happen.
  • adross3
    adross3 Posts: 606 Member
    You should go over your calories, then complain about it to her. Maybe she will offer advice to you, and figure it out for herself.
    Go eat cake.
    BRILLIANT!!!!
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Nice is relative.

    Standing by while a friend makes a mistake because your worried about their feelings isn't nice. It's mean, and stupid.

    If it hurts them, well.. that's just another weakness this person needs to work on.

    Be a friend and support them by discussing this with them.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    Good grief. I hope like hell that if someone saw something I was doing that they thought was impeding what I was trying to do they'd speak up. As far as I'm concerned that's a big part of being supportive. If people don't want that sort of support they might want to say it out straight that they don't want any help.

    As far as how to broach it... "Hey, I was looking at your diary and I noticed something, I know how easy it is to over look some things so I thought I'd mention it. In my experience..." and whatever the heck you're wanting to say
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