Loving, but critical husband

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Replies

  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    Not at all. Just do you! Ignore the husband and do whatever works for you. I’d love to be 160s after a baby that’s like so far away to me. I weighed that before my first. With a baby workout can be a challenge. They cry but I hold them and do my squats or put them in a swing or do the awesome long walk and they love it. You don’t workout in the heat that’s stupid. You don’t have to sweat to get definition either!
  • fitpal4242
    fitpal4242 Posts: 109 Member
    He sounds like a jerk.

    It sounds like you have 2 goals- 1- to get strong and fit, and 2- to lose weight. I’d highly suggest you start with #1. Try CrossFit like you’re thinking, or I’d also suggest Orangetheory for a workout surrounded by supportive people & that you should be able to work in with your schedule. You will get your confidence up as you get stronger & realize you can do anything! Then MFP is a great tool to help track your food when you’re ready to lose weight.

    Most important thing is that you do this for you.
  • staceynicole10
    staceynicole10 Posts: 5 Member
    I feel for you. It is hurtful when you're husband who is supposed to be supportive and the one person you can rely on is the one being hurtful. Mine told my father last summer the reason I got so fat was cause I sat on my *kitten* all summer watching tv not leaving the house. And yes while it was true, I was suffering badly from depression and stuck home with 3 kids one with asd while he f#cks off to work everyday and never offers for me to leave or get off on my own. Men can be so cruel
  • Be_theBest_Me
    Be_theBest_Me Posts: 767 Member
    Wow I thought my husband was an *kitten* hat!! Sheesh!! Your weight now is my goal!! You are beautiful and just did something amazing with your body!! You will tone up firm up and show him what he is all wrong about!! My hubby was the first man to love me big....then I started dropping weight not even thinking about it!! First baby gained it all back lost that and more. Then gained it back with baby 2, now for six years I've battle thyroid issues wanna be 150-160 I keep yoyoing up to 180 and back down right now 174. Hubby called me fat for 3 years straight after baby 2. Made it super hard to like myself or even wanna try. I hear his words when I'm naked when I'm getting dressed....even though he has stopped and it's been 3 years those words haunt me. Never thought he would do that to me. Daily he tries to make up for it. Just hard to get past!!
  • MyFreakingNameIsScott
    MyFreakingNameIsScott Posts: 199 Member
    I once tried correcting my wife. It’s what I do. I’m a coach. She told me to let her exercise the way she wants to and I haven’t said anything since. Her body. Her choice. Her workout. I needed to remember I’m a coach in the gym and with my athletes. Outside of the gym, I’m only a coach when I’m asked about something.

    I’m sure your husband means well. Sometimes reminders need to be nuanced. Sometimes they need to be a blunt instrument to the head. He just needs to be reminded what is helpful to you and skip talking about what isn’t. Talking about what isn’t helpful is just going to reinforce it, mentally, and likely lead to a much more irritating conversation for both of you. How you remind him is up to you. 😉
  • Hollis100
    Hollis100 Posts: 1,408 Member
    I understand he loves you and you love him.

    However, I would consider him a verbal abuser. He is -- undoubtedly without realizing what he is doing -- saying things that undermine you and discount your efforts. Many years ago, I read a great book called "The Verbally Abusive Relationship." Can't remember the name of the author, but she was/is a professional. The trap here is falling into explaining yourself, instead of addressing what he is doing -- perhaps instead you could just tell him to knock it off.

    Good luck to you. Keep doing what you're doing --it sounds like you're on the right track. And congratulations on the new baby.

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