I’m always gonna be unhealthy

First I am really sorry you’re feeling so down and defeated. This community is really supportive of you are willing to do the work. However, when you say you know it won’t work, it won’t. Everyone will assure you that success is a long and slow process. You have to be willing to stick to SMALL changes for a LONG time. You won’t see your goal soon but you’ll start seeing progress. Best of luck deciding to change.

Katie_Anne804 wrote: »

I am really struggling right now to be happy with my body. All of my weight is in my tummy and I have tried and failed so many times and I just feel hopeless and lost. But here I am trying yet again but I know it won’t last long. I wish I had a better support system because my family is tired of hearing me say that I am getting healthy and then stopping after a week or two

This begs the question, sorry, but it does!

What does it mean to you exactly when you say "I am getting healthy"? What is the end goal that would win the definition of "I achieved healthy"? Random Examples to get an idea as to what your goal really is: I am now eating x servings of vegetables and fruits a day. OR, separately, I have now lost x amount of weight. OR, separately, I can now run 5km non stop. Or, separately, I no longer have a tummy. OR, separately, I now love my body. It could be some. It could be all. But it would be nice in terms of figuring out how you get from a to b to specify what b really is and evaluate where a is really located.

Then...

what is it that you do each time in terms of implementation? Have you been changing your implementation approach each time, or are you planning to power through more so than before this time?

is this about 5 or 10 lbs within normal weight, or is this about 50 or 100 lbs starting from above normal weight?

Is this an attempt with an end goal, or is this part of a standard, let's call it social "maintenance" routine where you concentrate for a while to being "healthier" and then loosen up and then start up again?

Curious. No need to answer either. Just think about it. If you aren't changing anything in terms of your approach and implementation... why would the end results be different this time around?

Honestly, what worked for me...

Don't look at the situation and say "I'm getting healthy"
Don't try to change your life around in a day

Make small changes over time...

You're not getting healthy, you're simply making one small change, then another, and another...

Once you start seeing that progress, your momentum will increase until its just automatic...

Best wishes to you 💕

Also, you don’t have to tell your family. You will be making changes for yourself and your own habits; it would be NICE to have their support, but in the end it’s all in your own follow-through.

In fact, I would argue it’s even better to not tell them. Your small changes toward your goal should be so small and simple (and only one at a time) that external people won’t necessarily notice it. For example, you can identify your first habit as “drink 64 oz of water a day and track it.” Don’t change anything else. Then after a week or two of really solidly getting this habit down every single day, add your next identified small habit (for example, maybe it’s “track my water and my breakfast every day.”). Once you have that down after a week or two, add a new one (“track my breakfast, lunch, and snacks every day without fail.”). You will be building up your own stack of small wins and reassurance that YES you CAN make changes and stick with them. You can stay focused and won’t have to worry about distractions from friends and family telling you different things you should be doing, or telling you they won’t be supportive, or challenging you.

Each small habit you get down is another step towards your goal, which is eventually (I would imagine) “identify the way-of-eating and way-of-working-out that fits easily and happily in my lifestyle and allows me to reach and maintain my health goals.” Every habit change helps you uncover more of what your perfect way-of-eating is, and what other small things you can tweak to get there.

My idea of getting healthier is to try and make tomorrow's version of myself slightly healthier than today's version. My goal is mostly about the process of the day not where it ultimately leads. I can take a day in 24 hours. I cannot tackle several months, or in my case, years in 24 hours so I do not worry about the rest. I focus on the small amount I can accomplish today because it adds up in a big way. If today goes poorly I get up tomorrow and start the new day.

KyaLeanGreen wrote: »

Oh hun I’m struggling with the same thing. It’s all about mind over matter. Feed off of their ignorance thinking you can’t succeed. You got this! Add me and let’s do this together ❤️❤️

I need to own my disagree on what, on the surface of things, is an extremely inspirational and hopeful post.

I would love to see both of you succeed.
Succeed, to me, means not only achieving your short term goals, but also achieving your long terms goals.
In the case of losing weight this would mean losing the weight in the first place, and continuing to be able to maintain the loss.
In the case of starting an exercise program this would mean starting an exercise program, and then continuing to exercise for the foreseeable future.

Multiple years of experience and trying to put mind over matter indicates that it is AMAZING what you can do when you put mind over matter. There is little doubt in my mind that MOST people would be able to see significant, amazing even, results, for a certain length of time by putting mind over matter.

But did you notice the part about a certain length of time? Mind over matter works for a month. For two months. For three months. For six months even. But unless you've also laid in some ground work where you are NOT DEPENDING on mind over matter... no, it doesn't keep on working for the long term.

This does not mean you shouldn't try and succeed. TO THE CONTRARY. You should.

But you should start thinking about strategies that will ensure long term success.

No matter what you will STILL NEED mind over matter to succeed.

But it would be better if it is not your only or even your main tool!