Lost 60lbs & gained it all back ..looking for motivation

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goldensushiroll
goldensushiroll Posts: 1 Member
in Getting Started
Hi everyone. I lost a ton of weight in the last couple years (60lbs+) I’ve slowly but surely pretty much gained it all back in the span of about 2 years. It’s taken a huge toll on my social life & self esteem.

I’m finally ready to get back on my health journey but am finding it really hard to get motivated again. I don’t have a lot of friends or family & something like this is really hard for me to talk about to anyone.

I was wondering if there was anyone or groups that are open to motivating each other? I’m open to online or irl friends/motivators that are on the same journey of getting healthier. I’m 23F from Toronto for reference.

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  • Katmary71
    Katmary71 Posts: 6,568 Member
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    I'm in a group called Fit2Fat, the new month starts tomorrow. There's a friendly competition between teams and challenges and topics among groups. It's my favorite group, the competition part isn't aggressive or anything, you don't get in trouble for gaining weight or not losing which is what I was worried about when I joined. I check in every night and look forward to hearing from my friends.

    BTW, I know you said your social life and self esteem was hurting, but you've done amazing catching yourself before you gain even more weight and are taking charge of your health. Be proud of making a decision to change!
  • cesse47
    cesse47 Posts: 947 Member
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    Hello! I rejoined just a couple of days ago. Need to lose about 140. Just baby steps for now to get going. Will send you a friend request. Always glad to get and give motivation ... we all can use it. I'm 72 from Michigan.

    @Katmary71, I looked at Fit2Fat and it looked really complicated. Does someone explain how it works once you join?
  • stephiejean57
    stephiejean57 Posts: 2 Member
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    I just rejoined myself, lost 170 gained 50 back. More than happy to help motivate each other.
  • Katmary71
    Katmary71 Posts: 6,568 Member
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    @cesse47 You put your name on the thread that says April introductions or "sign up" and they're assign you to a team. From there you check in with the team, at least once a week to update on your weight. It's great to have the smaller teams because you really get to know everyone. I try to check in every day, it helps keep me accountable. I don't put in weight anymore as I'm in maintenance. Your team can direct you to anything else or you can ask me. I'm a Slimpossible. Hope you end up on my team! All the weighing in is friendly, you don't let your team down if you don't lose or gain which is awesome. Teams have their own challenges and the large group has a post and currently has what's called Habit Tracker where you can enter your goals for the month and check off boxes when you reach them, I love marking off everything at the end of the day!
  • cesse47
    cesse47 Posts: 947 Member
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    @Katmary71, Thanks for info. I really want to stay motivated and this sounds like a good way to go. I'll go join now so I can get into it at the month's beginning. Thanks Again!
  • Danp
    Danp Posts: 1,561 Member
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    I think the first two things you need to rethink is that you're on a journey and that you need motivation.

    The thing is most people when they say 'motivated' they don't really mean 'motivated'. Motivation is the desire, or the want to do something. The very fact that you're here shows that you want to (you're motivated to) manage your weight. You might be motivated (want) to lose weight for health reasons, for family reasons or whatever. What you're really talking about is 'will power'.

    So, it's important to understand that motivation (will power) is fleeting. Motivation in the sense you're talking about, is a temporary 'Oomph' that gets things moving in the right direction then it's done it's job and it fades. Motivation can not be relied on long term. You need to use that initial burst of motivation to get over the inertia and then you need to come up with a long term plan that doesn't require you to be motivated or rely on temporary 'will power'. If what you're dong needs will power to maintain then that approach isn't right for you and you need to try something different. There's dozens of approaches to managing weight so why persist with one that isn't suitable.

    Secondly, the being on a journey. A journey implies that you're doing something in order to reach a destination, or an end point. A 'journey' is a temporary activity that you stop once you get where you're going. Unfortunately lasting weight management needs a 'forever' approach as there is no 'destination' you get to where you can kick your feet up and say 'I've arrived'. The minute you do that, the minute you end your 'journey' you stop getting the results and end up right back where you started.

    Besides being on a journey is exhausting.

    You can't 'journey' to permanent and lasting weight management. It's not a journey, it's gotta be your new 'home'
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
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    Danp wrote: »
    I think the first two things you need to rethink is that you're on a journey and that you need motivation.

    The thing is most people when they say 'motivated' they don't really mean 'motivated'. Motivation is the desire, or the want to do something. The very fact that you're here shows that you want to (you're motivated to) manage your weight. You might be motivated (want) to lose weight for health reasons, for family reasons or whatever. What you're really talking about is 'will power'.

    So, it's important to understand that motivation (will power) is fleeting. Motivation in the sense you're talking about, is a temporary 'Oomph' that gets things moving in the right direction then it's done it's job and it fades. Motivation can not be relied on long term. You need to use that initial burst of motivation to get over the inertia and then you need to come up with a long term plan that doesn't require you to be motivated or rely on temporary 'will power'. If what you're dong needs will power to maintain then that approach isn't right for you and you need to try something different. There's dozens of approaches to managing weight so why persist with one that isn't suitable.

    Secondly, the being on a journey. A journey implies that you're doing something in order to reach a destination, or an end point. A 'journey' is a temporary activity that you stop once you get where you're going. Unfortunately lasting weight management needs a 'forever' approach as there is no 'destination' you get to where you can kick your feet up and say 'I've arrived'. The minute you do that, the minute you end your 'journey' you stop getting the results and end up right back where you started.

    Besides being on a journey is exhausting.

    You can't 'journey' to permanent and lasting weight management. It's not a journey, it's gotta be your new 'home'

    Quoted for truth and cosigned. The thought also occurred to me that if someone is 60 lbs overweight, isn't that motivation enough? Op, as Dan suggested, I think you would benefit by retooling your thinking.

    It isn't really motivation you need. You need some good analysis of what went wrong last time and what you can do differently moving forward to make sustainable changes that can be your new normal.

    In my years here on MFP, those that succeeded in getting to a healthy weight and staying there were the ones that learned from their early mistakes and realized that white knuckling it to lose weight without a plan of how to keep it off with a more practical and sustainable live plan didn't work well.

    Motivation will come and go. But a good plan and a reasonable amount of self discipline can be a good "home", as Dan said above.

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