Why do people give up?

niniundlapin · April 2020

For me the best combo for successful weight loss (& fat loss) is a balanced lifestyle- being able to eat in moderation, workout in a structured routine (cardio, weights, “fun ones” for rest day, etc), and sleep enough. The last one is the hardest since I had my daughter... those sleepless nights just translated into exhaustion and aggressive snacking behavior. Now she’s a bit older (1.5 yo) so I get to adapt into a new daily routine. Not sure how things will go later on though since I’m in maintenance and trying to gain muscle mass.

MeganD1704 · April 2020

What made me want to:
Back in...2012(?), my roommate took a photo of me on my birthday and when I seen it I couldn't believe it was me. My face was so puffy and swollen, it didn't look like me. It was weird how the photo provided me some sort of clarity change of mind.

I did really well- 2012-2014 I worked out and used MFP consistently. Lost all the weight I wanted and was working on lifting heavy and finding the body I wanted.
2015- rough rough year emotionally, lost a lot of family and people I cared for due to illness- brain switched to emotional eating and triggers.
2016- got it together, went back to working out but not using MFP. weight came off until I switched careers.
2016-2017- worked 80+ hrs a week starting my day at 4:30 am and on call 24/7/365- loved my job but lost my 5:00am workout- without logging or workouts weight came back.
2017-2018- still at my dream job working like a maniac.
2018- we get married- I do keto for a year and shed 45 lbs. Honeymoon in Hawaii- slide off track and didn't get back on keto. Couldn't do it- still some foods I cant eat. Felt so restrictive and hard to go back to.
2018-2019 - dream job still working like a maniac.
End of 2019- dream job closes.
2019-2020 so far- new job working a regular work week. Resumed working out and tracking on MFP- have the time to get up at 5 to workout, meal plan and prep. Realizing I have food triggers but realizing I can still eat what I want but smarter. Giving up fads to finally fuel my body properly.

I guess for me it was more so lack of time, some depression and just not caring that would cause me to give up.
I am glad I am back on track- yes its taking forever vs when I did Keto- but I do not care- I want to do this right and build lifelong habits.

pink_mint · April 2020

MeganD1704 wrote: »

I am glad I am back on track- yes its taking forever vs when I did Keto- but I do not care- I want to do this right and build lifelong habits.

Same here. I was on keto for quite a while and yes it worked for weight loss but I cannot bear the thought of doing it again. I guess I thought I was going to lead my whole life doing keto but I just can't.

MeganD1704 · April 2020

pink_mint wrote: »

MeganD1704 wrote: »

I am glad I am back on track- yes its taking forever vs when I did Keto- but I do not care- I want to do this right and build lifelong habits.

Same here. I was on keto for quite a while and yes it worked for weight loss but I cannot bear the thought of doing it again. I guess I thought I was going to lead my whole life doing keto but I just can't.

Yesss! Its weird- I did well on it but it just feels so restrictive now. Hated pre planning where we could/couldnt eat based on my diet. We went to Vegas and I fear my hubby missed out on my expense. We travel a lot when we can do I need to be able to have flexibility but still be healthy!

beaglady · April 2020

I logged here for over 3 years. During that time I lost around 50 pounds. Wasn’t exactly sure of start weight, within a couple pounds.

I have an office job and commute that required me to be away from home for 11 hours a day. It was hard to find time to get much exercise on weekdays. I also spent several evenings after work helping my elderly dad avoid a nursing home, and then several evenings a week clearing out his home after he passed, This was for almost 2 years.

As I lost weight, my calorie needs dropped to fewer than I found satisfying, around 1350. Due to the things mentioned above, it wasn’t easy to find time to exercise enough to earn extra calories.

Clearing out my dads house was stressful, eating brings comfort. I was sick of having to be so careful about every bite that went into my mouth. Once you quit tracking and caring, it’s hard to get back into it.

lgfrie · April 2020

jamloche wrote: »

When I really get going on a diet, I go strong for a few months and drop noticeable amounts of weight. It starts to feel easy. Then I decide to take a day off for whatever reason, and hit the stores to buy all the soda and candy and lasagna and bread and ice cream. I know I'll be able to get right back on the diet, because it was so easy, but at the end of the "Day Off", there's still a ton of goodies left ... So one day off becomes two.

But there's not enough goodies for a second day, so I head back out to the stores to really get all the cheating out of my system.

Then it becomes three days. Then four. Then, [insert holiday] is right around the corner, so we might as well start up again after that.

When it's all said and done, I'm always astonished when the days turn into weeks and how ridiculously fast the weight comes back.

This encapsulates perfectly my own past experience with diet failures.

The only difference between my so-far-successful 10 month weight loss journey now versus all the clusterf****s of my past is that no matter what happens now, I get back on the scale, exercise machine, and diet first thing the next morning, no exceptions. That is the only significant change I've made. I still occasionally binge, and a few of those have been insane. In the past I did all the calorie counting, logging, exercise, all of the same things I do now, except I didn't pull the plug on the binging the next morning. I got into the exact traip @jamloche described, right down to heading back to the store on the 2nd day to top off the junk food supply, at which point the diet was over because I couldn't regroup - I needed just one more day after that to complete my reset and then there was a holiday coming up in a week, and then there was the first of the month coming up in 4 more days, and so on. Now I do a hard stop on the binging when I go to sleep, get back on the horse first thing in the morning, and everything has fallen pretty well into place. It's literally the only difference for me this time around, but it's been everything.

New_Heavens_Earth · April 2020

My reasons:

People pleasing. I followed plans I hated because my friends did them or they were popular and I wanted camaraderie and their approval. When I didn't get any results or their results I quit.

Getting religious with plans. Each diet or exercise plan was The Solution, The Way. And I'd burn out and quit when I couldn't or didn't want to follow anymore.

Impatience. I'd run numbers with the Fitbit, Tdee calculators, and Libra. And if I didn't lose at the expected rate, knowing full well that I lose slowly no matter what I do, I'd quit.

Why I'm not quitting now? I'm uncomfortable. I literally looked in the mirror at the start of the quarantine and asked myself how I want to walk out of this. I was already unhappy. Most of my summer dresses (I live for my dresses) are on the edge of snug. I refuse to go into a size 10. I know that's someone's goal, but I was once a comfortable 4 and totally happy. I want that feeling back. I just turned 44 and entered perimenopause. I want to age gracefully and be healthy and active.

ReenieHJ · April 2020

I've come to realize stress and depression are huge reasons in why I overeat(and/or binge), always has been and evidently according to recent events/reactions, always will be.

When I get stressed, do I take a walk or listen to music, clean a closet or call a friend, to curb my anxiety? No, eating is my drug of choice. Not good by any means and I've had a difficult time controlling that, especially lately. I've been as much as 85# over my ideal weight throughout my life and am finally down to where I want to be, low end of my BMI. But staying there is a real daily battle because the urge to binge is so real right now.

I realize it's up to me to find my control button and click it back on but right now, it seems impossible to do.

ninerbuff · April 2020

My short answer: Because it's EASIER to be able to eat what you want in any amount and be fat than it is to be disciplined and eat what you NEED, to be healthy.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

LeiLaura · May 2020

cmriverside wrote: »

My story is a lot shorter.

I needed to lose weight, I knew it was ultimately about calories. I found a free website to help me track my calories. (This one.)

I logged food, and I planned and paid for a vacation that was in the Bahamas, which meant a bathing suit for a week. I had nine months to get the weight off. That worked! I got really close to my goal by the time I took off.

It wasn't until I got back and still had 15 pounds to lose that I had to really buckle down. The first 65 weren't nearly as hard to lose as the last 15. It required sticking to macros and calories and getting enough of all the nutrients. I had to make most of my own meals so I could control it. I weighed in daily. I used a food scale for food - all food. I walked on hilly trails for an hour 4-6 times per week. I had to be disciplined for those last 15 pounds and I had to live with quite a lot of hunger. I think that must be when people give up...the home stretch.

Totally this. Well done, you're very inspiring.

Lynatea · May 2020

Being overweight is hard, and dieting is hard. People pick their hard.

MidlifeCrisisFitness · May 2020

Aside from a medical barrier I believe the issue comes down to SMART.

People get lost in thier journey. They set out goals that are not

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Reaslistic
Timely

Any time you set a goal each one of these is crucial to your success. Set SMART goals that you can attain and set progress within the required reward, motivation cycle for your personality. If you need daily reward satisfaction your goals need to be task based. If you are more patient your reward can be monthly challenge based. If you are single minded and visionary you can set long term goals to a target.

Know yourself and set appropriate SMART goals that lead to your finish line.

lgfrie · May 2020

I can't remember ever getting discouraged or saying "forget it" on one of my various past diets (which always eventually entailed regain and then some).

I remember needing a break and feeling that I deserve one, which I did, because I lost 20-30 pounds quite a few times, and that takes work and discipline, and you deserve a treat when you are disciplined and hard-working for, say, 3 solid months without a break.

So I would take a day off, perfectly reasonable, and I wouldn't even indulge that badly in gluttony; I'd tell myself I'd learned new skills and, look at my reasonable food choices, I can easily handle a time-out! Then the next morning, it would be like, "I just need one more day, I've got this under control, obviously. You can't deprive yourself till the end of time. I'll get back on the horse tomorrow." And I would proceed to buy allllll the stuff I'd been denying myself the last three months - pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni, beef brisket, cheesesteak subs, and chocolate, so much chocolate. Not all at once, of course. First a pizza, then "this day is shot, I need some Nutty Butty's", then "Last chance to have that brisket before..."

By that night I'd be stuffed like a pinata, but then there would still be some delicious leftovers in the fridge, so the next morning, I wouldn't want to get on the scale and see the damage, and I couldn't just throw the brisket out, so .... "one more day". By then it'd be like Friday night and I'd think, "fresh start on Monday morning", and head to the store to top off the junk food supply, which by then would be getting light in certain key areas such as chocolate or queso for the chips. Monday would roll around but it'd be the 27th of the month, and I'd think "Fresh start on the 1st". On the first I knew deep-down the whole thing was over but I'd still go through the motions and diet for a day or two before heading out for junk food. A year later I would be 15-20 pounds heavier than when I started.

So, no, I never, ever got discouraged. I over-celebrated LOL But in reality, it wasn't a celebration; it was just an excuse to revert to bad behaviors.

So I've been dieting for 11 months now. I have a few rules but only one that's iron-clad. NO MATTER WHAT happens on any one day, it's over at 11:59 pm. Next day, I get up, get on the scale, hop on the exercise machine, log my day into MFP, and it starts all over again. In 11 months, I have never not gotten on the scale in the morning, and the only time I skip a workout is if I'm sick or injured. Otherwise, it's scale - workout - eat right. Every day. Except the occasional binge-day but that ends promptly and completely at 11:59 and then it's back on the horse. That is what changed everything for me. I also credit IF and my MFP diary and a number of other things with making my diet easier, but starting over every single morning, beginning with the scale no matter how terrifying, was the game-changer.

VeryKatie · May 2020

for me, being pregnant and it not being safe to lose weight while pregnant. And then being on meds and breastfeeding and hormonal for over a year after (only applicable for my second child). Being too tired. Family pressure can also be hard. That being said, I've always been successful outside of pregnancy and breastfeeding. And I'm on my path to successful now too. (Lost weight pre-babies, after 1st baby, and now working on after second baby).

mullanphylane · May 2020

No idea why others give up. We're all individuals and each individual is different.

The greatest reason that I give up is because results aren't fast enough or linear. I fell off a plateau (198 Lb) where I languished for two weeks. In three days I've put on two pounds.

Second excuse is that for most of my life I had to consume nearly 3000 calries/day or I lost weight. When that changed I packed on 70 pounds in about six months. I've so many bad habits to break that some days I just say fork it and pig out.

Underlying health conditions contribute to my lack of success, but they are minor compared to my personal habits.

Move More
Eat Less
Eat Better

One day at a time.

Italiana_xx79 · May 2020

Lack of knowledge and results....

Dani9585 · May 2020

For me, it was the stress of having too much on my “life” plate. I’m a single parent, two kids, had returned to school to get my Masters, and was working full time. Something had to give... which, unfortunately, ended up being my diet/tracking lifestyle.

I had lost 20lbs (out of my 30lb goal), but gained 10lbs back. When I tried my jeans on the other day (because quarantine sweat pants are life), and they were tight, I knew that I needed to come back here.

I’m still a single parent with two kids, but I’m working full time and won’t be returning to school for my PhD. I managed to track and lose weight like this before, and I will do it again.

digestibleplastic · June 2020

I don't think I ever gave up per say, it was more that other things in life started to take precedence over paying attention to what I was eating in combination with an overuse injury that made it very difficult to burn calories with exercise, so over the course of 12-15 weeks, 20 lbs came back on pretty swiftly and I was suddenly obese again.

It's hard to care about 20 extra lbs when debt, job loss, family illness, emotional turmoil are at the forefront of your mind. Truly what's important - staying at a low weight/losing more weight, or focusing on resolving emotional and financial personal problems? I'd say the latter.

What's important is to just be kind to yourself and know this is a process and it's not about the destination, it's a lifelong journey. Even when I was consistently thin I was never the same exact weight. I weighed between 125 - 140 lbs (normal range for my height) from ages 18 - 34, my thinnest at age 30.

Right now I'm back to tracking because 1-My life is stable right now due to coronavirus (ironically) and 2- I'd like to get back consistently into that range. Creating these good habits now, while I'm emotionally and financially in the position to do so will only help me later in life when I have more downs than ups. And if I'm at 125 lbs, and have a "down", then gaining 20 lbs isn't a huge deal. It's "loseable" and it's still in my normal/healthy weight range.

thesame6 · June 2020

Impatience, some laziness, too much information gets confusing.

I stopped using MFP last time because it kept telling me I wasn't eating enough.... but I wasn't losing weight, despite not eating much and exercising more...... it ended up being my thyroid.... but I honestly thought I was eating too much at 1000 calories, if that, a day....

So, I'm doing this again, but throwing out everything I think I know (my life of fad diets and misinformation) and just tracking what I eat, keeping within my range of calories and staying active.

I want to see an immediate loss.... but I know that's not how it works.. so I need to remain patient, keep active, stay the course.

HeidiCooksSupper · June 2020

I like food. I like lots of food. I enjoy eating. I've been overweight since childhood -- from eating too much. I eat healthy foods, just too much of them. I'd rather eat with reckless abandon than watch how much I eat like a hawk.

I don't recommend being fat your entire adult life. It did me no favors socially, psychologically, or physically. Now, however, I better stick with it because it's catching up with me physically and I'm hubby's caretaker. If I die or become incapacitated he's up the proverbial estuary without a visible means of propulsion.

We've got a good life and I'd like to keep it into our 90s.

Why do people give up?

Replies

Categories