Dating in 2011 Seriously

Options
245678

Replies

  • illy823
    illy823 Posts: 63
    Options
    You just made a wise decision there. Its OK to have meet-ups somewhere if you two are already dating for some time but if you're just in the initial stages of dating, the guy should be gentleman enough to pick you up at your house. I had many dating mistakes especially when I was still in my 20's before but I now learned my lesson.

    Thanks girly....
  • illy823
    illy823 Posts: 63
    Options
    I totally agree with you..I'm on a dating site and that is just what happened the other night..He picked me up and bought me a beautiful dinner..He was an amazing kisser so I thought why not..But I was sorry I did..It was all him..I've given up dating..

    Besides, dating is way too hard..I was stressing over what to wear..Not that I have much to chose from..

    I do admit that I see 2 great guys and it's not just for sex..It's for company..One is like me that he loves his own space and doesn't want to share..

    I've given up the idea of dating..

    Your right.. after all this.. you just want someone to hang out with.. and not have the pressure... But man, its not easy... I did the dating site and everyone there is great on paper.. but then reality hits and its a whole other story...
  • garlic7girl
    garlic7girl Posts: 2,234 Member
    Options
    My friend you do what make you happy and content. Don't settle. Stand by your own convictions. You have to live with you and the decisions you make. Why live by other people's expectations?! You don't have to go with the crowd. Do your own thang girl! Use your POWER!!!!! Don't givei it away to just 'fit in'.
    In the long run you will be happier with yourself and your decisions. Let other rule thier own lives. YOU only have yours to live.
  • clew313
    clew313 Posts: 12
    Options
    I would have to say that taking separate cars is a good idea. Alot of people are crazy, I guess I have watched too many movies about serial killers, anyway, I'm recently divorced, and I always tell them I will meet them, and yes sex always comes up. Most of my friends who date say the same thing, it's always about sex ALWAYS. I wouldn't worry too much about it. You did what you wanted by going to the gym. Their :flowerforyou: loss
  • ron2282
    ron2282 Posts: 2,772 Member
    Options
    Dating is the nicest a guy will get. They're more likely to be sweet and charming then when they're trying to impress you! There's nothing wrong with having standards. Make guys pick you up. Stand in front of the door til they open it. And if they think you're being an old fashioned pain in the *kitten*, move on to the next suitor. And you absolutely SHOULD NOT have to put out just because a guy buys you a few beers! If he isn't willing to commit to you to get laid, that's showing you a little bit of his character. You're right. Some guys are jerks. But if you hold to your standards of how men should treat you, you'll be glad when Mr. Right comes along!

    PS, my personal pet peeve was a guy pulling up and honking the horn. Uh-uh. Nope. If you wanna go out with me bad enough, you can get your *kitten* outta the car and come knock! Good luck!

    I agree with this 100%. Do NOT lower your standards!! For years my family told me my standards were too high and I'd never find anyone. I ignored them and found a man who treats me with more respect than anyone I've ever known. We've been together for 4 years, married for 2. (I haven't opened a car door or pumped my own gas since our first date.) He's not prefect and we have our share of ups and downs, but he's always kind and respectful. It will happen.
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
    Options
    I would love some meaningless sex right about now.
  • deyson
    deyson Posts: 1
    Options
    Not all guy's are like this. Chivalry is not dead. I think it's the company they keep and the values they were raised with personally. But then again I did grow up in a pool of estrogen so I might have a leg up on the right way to treat a woman lol. Good luck to you.
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    Options
    I've pretty much been a serial monogamist, so to think of just being expected to have sex on a first date - well, I would have done the same thing you did if you were getting those hints. And the whole meet me there thing and stuff - forget it. I commend you for even getting out there and still trying. I think I've pretty much given up on the whole dating, relationship, family thing.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    Options
    First of all, you are totally correct acting the way you did with guys that act the way you describe.

    I suggest you find a better class of men.
  • JAGS2012
    JAGS2012 Posts: 13
    Options
    Men are out there for sex. Thats probably a known fact, but most men honestly don't know what they want.

    I think women have to give men a little break. Just to make it clear, etiquettes are very much alive, but the notion of dating has changed drastically and women can't rely on men opening doors, picking them up, paying for dinner etc....and the reason for this I believe women are now in the driver seat, more in control, some with better careers, some probaby own their own homes, and have actually savings and looking to actually settling down.

    Do women ever think about the insecurities that men face when asking someone out?

    Dating is expensive these days, and lets face it, no one wants to spend money in these economic times and get no where at the end of the date. My suggestion is, next time you have a date, put the pressure aside, keep it simple and dont play the GAME. Take a walk around the city, go and feed birds or just hang out somewhere you can connect without the pressure of having the so called, perfect date.

    Men are looking for sex, but furthermore all men like myself enjoy good company first.

    Best of luck in 2012
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
    Options
    I've never dated a lot (I've had maybe four boyfriends ever), and I can't say I feel like I'm missing out. I insist on arriving separately for a lot of the reasons already listed and a very bad experience I had with a man I thought was my friend.

    I've known my current boyfriend for almost 13 years, so at least I know what to expect, for the most part.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
    Options
    Do women ever think about the insecurities that men face when asking someone out?

    Men don't face insecurities when they ask someone on a date. Maybe little boys do. If you're so freaking insecure, don't ask anyone out. It's that simple.

    I'm so unbelievably sick of this "Don't expect me to pay or be nice to you unless you put out" bull****. If all you want is physical gratification, go to the adult video store or call up a chick friend who has incredibly low self-esteem. Otherwise, grow a set of balls and act like a gentleman. What woman with a successful career, her own home, money in the bank, etc., wants to date some *kitten* who doesn't respect her and blames it on his "insecurities?" Do you think she achieved all that success by allowing people to treat her like garbage?
  • JAGS2012
    JAGS2012 Posts: 13
    Options
    Do women ever think about the insecurities that men face when asking someone out?

    Men don't face insecurities when they ask someone on a date. Maybe little boys do. If you're so freaking insecure, don't ask anyone out. It's that simple.

    I'm so unbelievably sick of this "Don't expect me to pay or be nice to you unless you put out" bull****. If all you want is physical gratification, go to the adult video store or call up a chick friend who has incredibly low self-esteem. Otherwise, grow a set of balls and act like a gentleman. What woman with a successful career, her own home, money in the bank, etc., wants to date some *kitten* who doesn't respect her and blames it on his "insecurities?" Do you think she achieved all that success by allowing people to treat her like garbage?


    Just to make it clear, are you saying that men dont have insecurities about asking a woman out?

    The message being sent out here was keeping it simple rather than the expectation of having the perfect date
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
    Options
    Men can be gentleman,it is not difficult.
    Just do it regardless of outcome,you will feel good about yourself.
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
    Options
    I see what you're saying, but I absolutely DO NOT want a guy picking me up from my house! I'm on a dating site so I'm meeting guys that I've never met before. I do not want them to know where I live and I do not want to have to rely on them for transportation until I feel reasonably sure that they aren't dangerous or a stalker. I've been on two dates so far with two different guys and both offered to pick me up, but I vehemently said no I'll meet you.

    Anyway, back to the point. I just got back from a date and he was an hour late. lol. At least he paid for dinner.
  • sweetsapphire85
    sweetsapphire85 Posts: 386
    Options
    Men are out there for sex. Thats probably a known fact, but most men honestly don't know what they want.

    I think women have to give men a little break. Just to make it clear, etiquettes are very much alive, but the notion of dating has changed drastically and women can't rely on men opening doors, picking them up, paying for dinner etc....and the reason for this I believe women are now in the driver seat, more in control, some with better careers, some probaby own their own homes, and have actually savings and looking to actually settling down.

    Do women ever think about the insecurities that men face when asking someone out?

    Dating is expensive these days, and lets face it, no one wants to spend money in these economic times and get no where at the end of the date. My suggestion is, next time you have a date, put the pressure aside, keep it simple and dont play the GAME. Take a walk around the city, go and feed birds or just hang out somewhere you can connect without the pressure of having the so called, perfect date.

    Men are looking for sex, but furthermore all men like myself enjoy good company first.

    Best of luck in 2012

    This is the exact reason why I know for a fact I should have been born a few decades before I was. Where men were men and they didn't mind stepping up to the plate to impress a girl they really like (notice i didn't say a girl they really wanted to screw). I understand men like to use the "woman intimidate me because they are so successful" excuse, and that's all fine. But don't expect to tag onto my success while you stay home, work when you feel motivated, build your remote control cars, or buy video games to the tune of a few $100 and when the bill comes on a date look to me like "well are you going to get that???"
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
    Options
    I don't think a decade in all of recorded history has occurred where dudes were not cruising for sex from chicks (or other dudes, if that is their thing).
  • sweetsapphire85
    sweetsapphire85 Posts: 386
    Options
    I don't think a decade in all of recorded history has occurred where dudes were not cruising for sex from chicks (or other dudes, if that is their thing).

    Oh i agree, guys were always looking for booty, but there were guys that actually didn't expect sex on a first date, or a few beers, and they certainly didn't comment on your chest or your butt before they asked you out. (if they did it was a much MUCH smaller percentage then today)
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
    Options
    I don't think a decade in all of recorded history has occurred where dudes were not cruising for sex from chicks (or other dudes, if that is their thing).

    Oh i agree, guys were always looking for booty, but there were guys that actually didn't expect sex on a first date, or a few beers, and they certainly didn't comment on your chest or your butt before they asked you out. (if they did it was a much MUCH smaller percentage then today)
    Mad Men has forever changed my perspective about ye olden days. :wink:
  • sweetsapphire85
    sweetsapphire85 Posts: 386
    Options
    I don't think a decade in all of recorded history has occurred where dudes were not cruising for sex from chicks (or other dudes, if that is their thing).

    Oh i agree, guys were always looking for booty, but there were guys that actually didn't expect sex on a first date, or a few beers, and they certainly didn't comment on your chest or your butt before they asked you out. (if they did it was a much MUCH smaller percentage then today)
    Mad Men has forever changed my perspective about ye olden days. :wink:

    Really? I've never seen it but i'll have to check it out now. :smile: I just know the stories my grandparents, great uncles, great aunts have told me and like the idea of how their relationships went.

Categories