Self Loathing
mkeatonmom4
Posts: 36 Member
Yesterday I did great on staying with in my calories. Today I was going good. Until I ate too many snacks tonight. Now I feel like giving up. My husband thinks this calorie counting is too ridged. Doe anyone else have trouble staying within their calories? I also find it hard to get away from my family long enough to go for a walk. I use to walk everywhere when I was growing up. Now it’s difficult just to walk around the block. Having 10 kids has really taken it’s toll on me. I just wish I could get to the point where eating healthier and exercising everyday was a routine.
3
Replies
-
Calorie counting is as rigid as you make it!
Self-loathing is very unproductive, dump that emotion just learn from your experience and adapt. Do you know why you ate too many snacks? Maybe you have set a weight loss rate that is too aggressive? Are you just limiting calories, or have you also restricted what you eat in a different way (excluding certains foods or food types)? Being too restrictive (low calorie goal or eliminating foods you like) often backfires because it isn't sustainable.
It's also useful to keep in mind that even if you exceed your calorie goal, you could still be in deficit. For example, if you've chosen a weight loss rate of 1lb per week, that is equivalent to a deficit of 500 calories a day. So even if you go over your calorie goal by 250 calories, you're still in a 250 calorie deficit (equivalent to losing 0.5lbs a week).
Or if you look at it over several days: if you go over your goal one day, but were on your goal the other days, you could still be in a deficit over all, looking at the entire week. One day of being over your goal does not destroy your progress!5 -
Can you share a little more like your height, current weight, and how much you are trying to lose?0
-
Too rigid for what? The thing about calorie counting is it’s just information. It tells you what is happening with your body and why, it doesn’t make you do anything. There’s no way to make the facts less rigid, that would be like saying “the thermometer is too rigid, it says 75 degrees outside but I want it to be more like 70.” Well... it’s not. The facts are the facts whether you know them or not, so you might as well know them!
The facts in the case of calorie counting are 1) how many calories your body uses daily to stay the same weight at 2) a given activity level. If you eat fewer, you will lose weight, if you eat more you will gain weight. You can also change your activity level so you use more calories. That is how all weight loss works. There is no other way to lose weight. All weight loss involves taking in fewer calories than you use. Diets which don’t use calorie counting use some other method to get you to eat fewer calories, such as eating only low calorie foods, or only bad tasting foods, or only foods in a small window of time. Speaking for myself I find it simpler to just figure out how many calories I should be aiming for instead of using some other trick to try to hit the right number by accident.
Habits are hard to break! You didn’t get overweight by eating naturally only the right amount of food. The habits you have now led you to become overweight. So it’s not surprising there are a few bumps in the road. But you can learn from them. You were within your calories until you ate too many snacks at night. Now you know that, you can either plan ahead to have some calories left over for your snacks, or plan activities which will be incompatible with eating snacks. One thing is for certain, if you don’t change anything nothing will change. How about taking a walk at night instead of doing whatever you usually do while snacking?9 -
^^This^^.....my motto from the start has been, "Once I dropped all my excuses, I found my results." it's up to YOU and nobody else can make it happen.2
-
Calorie counting works. But there’s a significant calorie counting learning curve that doesn’t get much discussion.
And it does involve a bunch of fussing and bother a first. It’s no surprise that people not involved in it don’t understand.
But none of this is a reason to attack yourself. The self loathing attached to being overweight and failed weight loss attempts seems to me to be kicking ourselves because we have to learn the process.
Weight loss is a skill set. We have to learn it. It’s mostly a matter problem solving. You know that thing about how experience is the best teacher? I think the person who first said that was trying to lose weight. Experience is the only way to learn weight loss.
Don’t kick yourself for trying. Even if you just seem to be stumbling around in the dark. Only kick yourself for quitting. Then never quit. So no kicking.
You can do this. I can tell you for a fact you can do this because I’ve done it. You can do 10 kids. I’d last about half an hour with 10 kids. You can do this.8 -
10 kids??????????
Jesus Christ.
You can do this!8 -
A suggestion?
Don't try to eat at a deficit right now. Just commit to logging everything you eat before you eat it. No judging yourself! Treat it as an experiment. See what your current diet looks like. After a week or two, evaluate what you are eating. Where can you make some subtle, relatively easy changes? Maybe you could drop from four treats per day to three. Do that until it feels normal. Then drop to two treats per day. Do that until it feels normal. So on and so forth.
There's a great podcast called Half-Size Me that has tons of good information on how to lose weight sustainably. Maybe check that out.4 -
Thanks for your help. To answer harper16 question. Iam 45 years, 194lbs, 5 ft 1 in. I put my activity level at less active. I spend my day during this quarrintine feeding my 4 younger kids their meals. Helping them complete assignments. The older kids do their on things. When I can pull myself away from the kids I am doing laundry and cleaning and doing dishes. I am not able to get it all done. A lot of my day is trying to keep the kids out of the way so I can do my housework. I also have everyone help as much as they can. But I don’t feel that it is very active. I use my phone as a pedometer but it is not always on me. My younger kids are always asking to use it and it is a tool I use for them when they earn it. I just need to find a system that works.2
-
mkeatonmom4 wrote: »Yesterday I did great on staying with in my calories. Today I was going good. Until I ate too many snacks tonight. Now I feel like giving up. My husband thinks this calorie counting is too ridged. Doe anyone else have trouble staying within their calories? I also find it hard to get away from my family long enough to go for a walk. I use to walk everywhere when I was growing up. Now it’s difficult just to walk around the block. Having 10 kids has really taken it’s toll on me. I just wish I could get to the point where eating healthier and exercising everyday was a routine.
Give yourself permission to have bad days. I think it is safe to say that we all have them. I certainly have. The good news is they need not be a source of concern UNLESS they are your natural response to not eating enough the other days.
It is what you do MOST days that matter not SOME days.
Calorie counting is not inherently rigid. In fact, it can be too flexible for some people. Calorie counting starts with a budget of calories and you can spend them however you want within the limits of any medical requirements you may have. It is not low carb. It is not healthy. It can be all cake and ice cream (not advisable). Additional components are based on what you want to do and they should be viewed as optional for bad days.
Staying within your calories starts with establishing the correct budget. Select the right rate of loss not for speed but for sensibility and sustainability. If you are trying to lose weight too fast you may be making yourself miserable mentally and ravenous physically. Either of those can lead to a binge-like overfeed. Depriving yourself of food you like to eat can lead to a session of what I call "rebel eating" where you are rebelling against yourself for over-strict food choices.
2 -
Did every one of those 10 kids just decide it was time to walk, so they stood up and walked?
Did they decide it was time to talk, so they started talking like an adult?
It took time for them to learn, and it will take you some time to learn to eat like a slim person.
Be patient, give yourself time to learn. Love yourself along the way.6 -
Yup--anyone who can raise 10 kids can do this--a cakewalk (couldn't resist). I have 3 grown sons and I can't imagine your workload. You just need to start weighing and measuring your food for now. It does take time at first, but then it gets faster because the foods you like are registered in your diary. I know it's hard to find the time for it, but do your best. It'll help you with portion control. I'm sorry that you can't get a walk in, it would help if you could squeeze in some "me time". It helps lift your mood. Don't ever give up and just keep trying. As the younger kids grow up and need you less you may find more time. I wish you the best of luck.1
-
So I went on the Choose my plate meal plans. I typed in everything thing I typed in here. Weight age extra... It gives me a calorie limit of 1600. This one is 1550. I think I will try and edit the calories on this app and see what happens. What are your thoughts?0
-
😋👍0
-
I have most success not counting calories but following an eating routine and rules of what to and not to eat. It works for me. I log now..just because I'm bored with the lockdown. But, in my past counting calories worked for me to lose 10 to 15 pounds..but I always gained it back and found it draining. Other people love logging and counting.
So, don't give up..find a way that works for you. Also..if you blow it one day..just get back on track the next day. That is the real secret to success...don't get derailed for days and weeks.1 -
@mkeatonmom4, YOU CAN DO THIS! You have your kids help with the housework as much as they can, so have them help you with eating healthier and getting fit. Make it a family thing. If possible go for a walk with the kids(the ones that want to). Put on some music and dance with them during their break time from assignments or pop in an exercise DVD that’s good for the whole family. Make it about them too and they’ll be learning about being healthy and fit while they’re helping you.
You got this!1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 422 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions