A question for the fellas in these strange, new times...
therealmarceline
Posts: 38 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, I got back out there after losing a few pounds back in early March. Tinder was still a thing, dates were still a thing, I met some nice people. Then things got weirder and then awful but, I did actually meet some other guys and had some very pleasant FT dates and some actual "go for a walk in the park" some "bike ride" type dates. Also some "lets get take away and watch tv at your/my place" dates. That was the extent of it.
So, now that things are getting back to "normal" there are two guys whom I really like and hope to see how things could develop. They reciprocate my feelings. My question is, what is the best way to handle the other, really wonderful dudes who still text me wanting to know what I'm up to, if I want to hang out, go for a bike ride, etc. They are all wonderful in their own way and we all helped each other thru this weird *kitten* time but I know I only want to focus on my chosen 2 and see where things go. I don't want to be mean, I don't want to ghost anybody, I don't want to be insulting but I also am not interested in pursuing any other possible matches right now. Guys: what is the best thing for me to text back as responses to all of these perfectly nice fellas??
So, now that things are getting back to "normal" there are two guys whom I really like and hope to see how things could develop. They reciprocate my feelings. My question is, what is the best way to handle the other, really wonderful dudes who still text me wanting to know what I'm up to, if I want to hang out, go for a bike ride, etc. They are all wonderful in their own way and we all helped each other thru this weird *kitten* time but I know I only want to focus on my chosen 2 and see where things go. I don't want to be mean, I don't want to ghost anybody, I don't want to be insulting but I also am not interested in pursuing any other possible matches right now. Guys: what is the best thing for me to text back as responses to all of these perfectly nice fellas??
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Replies
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Tell’em the one who pays your credit card bills gets you5
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Don't ask dudes for advice about other dudes.3
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Ghost 'em. It's Tinder. You don't owe anyone *kitten* on these dating apps.
Even the two guys you're serious about are probably swiping furiously at this moment. It won't stop till the thumbs fall off. Remember that.
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...... just tell them that you were really hoping to be engaged by Memorial Day, 2020.10
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Motorsheen wrote: »...... just tell them that you were really hoping to be engaged by Memorial Day, 2020.
This is the only answer.2 -
Lmao.... is it bad to say " I met somebody but it was so nice getting to meet you" that sounds so cringe, but thats sincere.1
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I once laid all my sex toys on my bed, took a picture and made that my Bumble photo.
I think that credit card line is going in there too.5 -
Seriously though, just say that you already met someone and are old fashioned and moving forward with them. Wish the others the best.5
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It just seems awkward to have that as a text reply to someone who I hung out with who is just texting to say "hey, hows it going? Doing anything fun this weekend?" YKWIM?1
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I don't have an answer, but how are you going to deal with part two of the problem? Getting the two preferred guys down to one eventually?1
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@GoJohnGo71 that's mean, and actually they Did date me so thats kind of the point to my question...1
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@TonyB0588 I think that will just sort itself out. But you raise a good point1
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I've never been on tinder. I met my husband when MySpace was still a thing, but is there like a status or something you can change, or leave tinder and use another platform to communicate with the two you do like.1
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@harper16 I'm not on Tinder anymore. These are guys I dated enough to share my phone number with0
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@that_night_in_paris I will definitely keep that in mind!0
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therealmarceline wrote: »@harper16 I'm not on Tinder anymore. These are guys I dated enough to share my phone number with
I don't think letting them know you're moving on is rude or mean it's honest. You're not trying to lead anyone on, and they might have other girls they are alsp messaging with already. I mean if you are messaging with various guys it's safe to say they are doing the same.7 -
therealmarceline wrote: »Lmao.... is it bad to say " I met somebody but it was so nice getting to meet you" that sounds so cringe, but thats sincere.
No there’s nothing wrong with that.
honesty is the best policy, in this case.
I’d be honest with the other two guys too, let them know I’m still dating around and he’s not the only one.4 -
therealmarceline wrote: »@harper16 I'm not on Tinder anymore. These are guys I dated enough to share my phone number with
Lol0 -
Think of what you would want to hear if the roles were reversed....would you want an explaination? Your reasoning for letting these other guys go shouldn’t be based on you meeting better people...it should be based on you not having a romantic connection with them. Be honest and say I had a great time with you but I just don’t see it going any further. Close the door completely6
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You are going to have to disappoint them. But I'm sure every one of them will move on quickly. Don't make a big exit. Just be kind about it. Make it very clear that you are not interested or they will get mixed messages.4
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therealmarceline wrote: »Lmao.... is it bad to say " I met somebody but it was so nice getting to meet you" that sounds so cringe, but thats sincere.
I've told men that I've met someone and want to see where it goes, that I hope they understand and wished them well.3 -
Well personally, I would keep the others around as a back up in case the others fell through... I mean a fellas gotta think ahead right? 🤷🏽♂️...Kidding 😁4
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I like all of the replies and I fully agree, I guess its more of a question of, if someone is just texting a "WYD" or a pic of them on the golf course it seems cringy to be like "you're great but I met someone", I feel like its overkill...I think I'm going to just ignore them, b/c, I agree, everyone is going to move along quickly and its probably no big deal. Just a very strange time. Maybe I'm just more emotional than usual. Anyway Thank you fitfam!! Stay safe *hug*1
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Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »Well personally, I would keep the others around as a back up in case the others fell through... I mean a fellas gotta think ahead right? 🤷🏽♂️...Kidding 😁
Yes. Back up boyfriend.1 -
Wise decision.therealmarceline wrote: »I like all of the replies and I fully agree, I guess its more of a question of, if someone is just texting a "WYD" or a pic of them on the golf course it seems cringy to be like "you're great but I met someone", I feel like its overkill...I think I'm going to just ignore them, b/c, I agree, everyone is going to move along quickly and its probably no big deal. Just a very strange time. Maybe I'm just more emotional than usual. Anyway Thank you fitfam!! Stay safe *hug*
👻 you'll find that this little guy is quick and efficient.
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