Bargaining with Sister and Cancer-survivor Brother to Exercise

Mrk320
Mrk320 Posts: 1 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Hi all,

This is my first time posting and I’m really at a loss at the moment. My 17-year old brother survived brain cancer which is truly a blessing, but I’m so worried that he eats complete junk and refuses to exercise. My sister is the same way and is now obese. My mother used to be obese but had the bypass surgery, but still eats incredibly unhealthy and I can tell she’s gaining weight back. Every time I try to get my brother or sister to exercise with me (and I try to make it fun by biking or roller blading— never just going on a run or to the gym bc I know they’ll hate it) and I’m just completely exhausted by the bargaining I have to do to get them to agree. I get an extreme attitude or I have to plead with them to go with me and pretend like I can’t go alone because I feel unsafe (which is untrue). Does anyone have any suggestions? I feel like the health of my family is completely on my shoulders.

Replies

  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    I'm sorry for your situation, but the more you push, the more they will resist. I bet if you were sneaking out to exercise and wanted to go alone, they'd be right there. I think I'd give it a break and just do you for awhile. They are responsible for themselves.
  • xGreatWhiteNorthx
    xGreatWhiteNorthx Posts: 335 Member
    Sorry, but it's not your problem to fix and the more you push it, the more theyll resent you.
  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,138 Member
    It's like smoking, you can't MAKE someone quit. You can't MAKE someone want to exercise or be healthy. They have to want it for themselves.

    All you can do is just let them know that you'd love for them to participate and do some activities with you, but you can't bribe or bargain someone into exercising/eating healthy.
  • LiftandSkate
    LiftandSkate Posts: 148 Member
    All you can do is be the light. If and when they are ready to see, they will know where to look.
  • harper16
    harper16 Posts: 2,564 Member
    It's not on your shoulders. Your health is on your shoulders, and there's is on there's. Focus on your own health. They'll have to decide for themselves when/if they want to focus on exercising and diet.

  • busyPK
    busyPK Posts: 3,788 Member
    Best advise is to keep up the exercise yourself and let them see how happy it makes you feel. Maybe they will then decide for themselves to try it. But it is their life, their choice.
  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,020 Member
    Each person’s health is their responsibility. You are not responsible for your entire family’s health.

    Focus on yourself, keep inviting (but just invite, don’t bargain, don’t beg, don’t ask more than once) and maybe one day they’ll join in. But it’s not your responsibility to make them live a healthy lifestyle.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    You are not the parent, you cannot make siblings do anything. It is sad, but it is what it is. Not your responsibility, you are taking over something that is not for you to accomplish or to feel guilty about.

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