The benefit of losing Facebook?

I got rid of Facebook last year. I deleted my account and messenger. Best thing I ever did.

Madwife2009 wrote: »

Facebook is an awful thing. I never had an account as there are some people that I don't wish to see/talk to/hear from and one of them would have found me (being as she persuaded my mother to give her my address so she could write to me, even though my mother had promised me that she wouldn't give my address to anyone). My now-adult daughter virtually lives on Facebook and some of her "real life friends" used it as a way to disengage with her when she went to university. But they didn't stop at blocking/un-friending her (or whatever the term is) they launched a full-on attack as to why they were not going to be friends with her anymore, detailing every minor issue/upset from their years of "friendship". It was nasty; very, very nasty. Having seen that, I am not at all surprised that the younger generation have issues. I don't remember experiencing this when I was young - is this a younger generation thing, this need to totally destroy another person's character/confidence? Does it make them feel powerful or controlling, or something?

Facebook is toxic, it really is.

I think people using it can be toxic, I don't think the site/app itself is. I worked overseas for most of my adult life and it's one of the few ways I could keep in touch with former colleagues/family/friends and share what I am doing with them.

Like most things, these can be abused. I certainly recall plenty of people at school being happy to destroy other kid's character/confidence in the late 80's / early 90's before the internet was hugely popular and it wouldn't have had the same reach as the likes of Facebook. Graffiti in toilets, fake rumours, violence & other forms of bullying have all gone on for decades and beyond, so I don't think we can lead all the blame to Social Media.

As to your questions does it make them feel powerful? Of course it does - bullies are usually the weakest people and it says more about them than it does their victim.

I think we should try and remember as well Social Media does also have it's benefits, people who have been reunited with lost items/pets; increased visibility for charities and community causes, the ability to keep people connected to friends and family no matter where in the world they are, a wider audience for small businesses, grassroots sports clubs, etc and a good way to find information when you move to a new area.

I can give you several positive examples just from this week alone:

• When I worked overseas I worked for a not for profit organisation that works alongside the UK Military, it's an organisation that has been around for decades, there is a group on Facebook that allows people who worked for them to keep in touch and reach out for help if needed. Last week, we were made aware that one of our former colleagues (not someone that I've worked with myself, but others had) had bad run of life recently, she had been diagnosed with a chronic illness and some months later with breast cancer, she is currently unable to work and her teenage son is trying to care for her. Another colleague (with this ladies consent) set up a gofundme page to try and raise some funds to help them through what is a hugely challenging times, within hours a few hundred had been raised, we are all scattered across the globe and without Facebook would not have known about her struggles.
• A local dog charity had been struggling to cope with the numbers of dogs they were holding, through a Facebook post, they've managed to gain more volunteers and people interested in re-homing the dogs.
• My Aunt lives in Cyprus and is a keen amateur photographer, Facebook is a good method for me to see her fabulous photos and keep in touch with her.

I keep my Facebook private, I add only people I know and care to stay in touch with, at the first sign of any content that I find offensive/toxic, I remove a person.

I don't care how many likes a photo gets, I just like to share pictures of my travels with my friends and family so they can stay up-to-date with what I am up to, as I rarely get to travel to my home country.

Yeah I stopped checking out FB before Christmas, downloaded a language learning app so my spare time is spent now learning Italian. A much better way to spend my time.
6 weeks in I now have learned over 500 Italian words and am grasping the lingo nicely

I'm what you would call a "social loner". I enjoy the company of people but I don't feel that pull to constantly engage (which creates its own problems because I have to actively work on my social life to have one). This has led to me having a very casual relationship with social media. I log in maybe once or twice a month for a few minutes, might catch up on the latest happenings or scroll through some groups and then I'm done for a while and even forget Facebook exists.

For someone like me, there are no benefits to losing Facebook. It plays such a trivial role in my life, so I don't always "get it" when people hate on it. I can only imagine. One thing I do understand, though. Goals are easier to achieve when you change things to require less willpower - now that you don't have Facebook you don't have to force yourself to log your food, it just happens. Congratulations on your weight loss so far and welcome! We have (calorie free) cookies!

I have had a Facebook account for 11 years and it has never messed with my life or had such a negative impact as some of the posters on this thread have mentioned. I do check it daily. I use it mostly to stay in touch with people I know, receive updates from local businesses, events, and so on. There isn't much "drama" on my feed - but I guess that depends only on the people I have added as friends.

I have deactivated Facebook and I find that I put more effort into keeping in contact with the people who matter in my life. The people who care about me still call, text, send emails and letters and packages for special occasions. In my opinion I have better, more thoughtful, fuller relationships now. Facebook created a lot of relationship facades.

On another note, I stopped watching TV and reading news websites too and I am mentally healthier for it and have more time to focus on myself, my relationships, my hobbies, my well-being and weight loss goals.